I can see the cycle starting all over again with my child?

Question

I had bright orange hair as a child. And of course I got teased non stop for it, and I hated it. Then as I got older it got more red and looked better. I also have very green eyes, so the contrast is odd.

Well, my son, who is now 5, has my hair and eyes. He's a beautiful child. He was out playing with some neighborhood kids and then ran home crying because they were teasing him about his hair. I rubbed his head and said "they just don't know what to make of you because you're unusual. You look different. That's a great thing." But I don't feel like that helped much.

I don't know what else to say to him. But it hurts to see him getting picked on like I did. What can I tell him to help steel him for the names he'll get called (I know they are coming).

Answer 1

There isn't really anything you can say. I was picked on for being 6'2" in the 5th grade. I was taller than all my teachers. Anything that is different is going to get picked on. In my case I used my size to my advantage. That was worse than just ignoring the kids because it created an even less desirable reputation. Best course of action is to just let him know the sad fact of life, people are jerks.

Answer 2

First of all that my two best friends are red heads, so they're good people, those read heads!  

Tell him that only 2 out of every 100 people is lucky enough to have red hair, its the rarest hair out there.  I'm not overly religious, but I'd tell him that god must think he's special to have given him this special hair color.  At his age, he'll repeat it to kids, when necessary.  Kids have a tendency to want what they can't have.  You've got to watch yourself though too.  You don't want to have the attitude of, "I know whats gonna happen next."  Just because one kids did this, doesn't mean there are more to follow.  With all the anti-bullying lectures these kids get at school, he's probably going to hear less rather than more of this.

Answer 3

If it's not one thing, it will be another.  Kids that like to pick on others will find something, even if they have to make it up.

Teach him to have a sense of humor about it.  

Also, teach him to bring up the red hair first, in a funny way.  They can't pick on you as well if you are already laughing.

Teach him some fascinating facts about red hair or red haired people.

Answer 4

As much as we would like to, we can't sheild kids from the world. Still, there are things we can do to alleviate some of the pain. Has your son seen pictures of you when you were his age? If he heard more about how you were than it would make him feel like he wasn't alone and had a closer tie to you because of it.