I cant cope?

Question

i have an 8 month old daughter and i have pnd. i was finding it easier to cope but over the last few feeks i am finding it increasingly difficult. my daughter has become increasingly clingy and wont let me leave the room. she is very noisy and constantly squeals (i know that make her happy but i am finding it ver hard). i have to be out of the house permanantly or she just acts up which means i get no housework done. is this likely to just be a phase she is going thru? my partner and my parents all work full time so i have noone to help me and give me a break. is this a phase that they go thru at this stage?

Answer 1

pnd is hard for anyone who has it. the whole world feels like its on your shoulders i had it for 18 months after my son was born and i was the worst person on earth (well so i thought) i was also struggling with ocd with my cleaning which meant i freaked out when there was mess or felt i coulndt cope.  i think your daughter is only acting like this as she knows you will give in (we all do it 2 make life easier) the reason she acts up at home is shes probably bored and her mind is occupied while shes out. try playing games and doing silly things with her and leave the housework til later !!! its always gonna be there but you will regret pushing her to one side while you get things done. i have baby number 2 due any day and ive given up on my house im gonna have a 2 year old and a newborn! but if you are worried about the pnd go see your doctor they will help you. dont be afraid 2 ask. take care and enjoy your baby while shes still young

Answer 2

I feel for you. It must be very hard going thru and having to deal with a little person at the same time. I think you are doing a great thing by sharing your difficulties / problems with other people. If you have friends in the mothers group or playgroup invite them over to your house for something. I talk to my friends whenever I feel depressed!!

Yes it is a phase she is groing thru. Unfortunately for you sometimes this phase can be long (but sometimes can be short too depending on each child).  At least it's all bonding!!!!! Please try to look at it the possitive way. This little person absolutely ADORES you, you are the superhero to her. You are there to love her and protect her.... you are everything so that's why she's clingy. Just imagine when she's a bit older you two will have such strong bonding and she will recall many sweet memories of you and her together.

I understand it is very hard for you to deal with it on your own. I went thru a similar period (busy but I didn't have pnd). My hubby works long hours and my parents were living overseas. I can tell you it will get a bit harder when your daughter becomes mobile.... running around etc... BUT THIS IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.... look at the good things, as she grows she will smile more, communicate more and eventually understand what you are saying to her and responds to your instructions or jokes! Then you can read to her or play with her etc... PRAISE her whenever she is playing on her own... even though she is only 8 mth old. In time she will understand your praise and continue such positive behaviour.

Please please cheer up and look at the positive things. Try not to put your daughter in front of the tv for many hours. TV sounds like a good babysitter but will NOT increase mother-daughter bonding!!! She needs you to be around and she needs you to be happy.

Talk to your childcare nurse if you still have pnd. Try to get online and see if you can find any internet penfriends who are in similar situation. You can support each other.

Oh, another tip, if you can, try to ignore housework!! I mean do the basic cooking and minimum cleaning. I have seen on a magazine that you can actually dim the light in the house so dust won't show!!! LOL.... little things you can try, e.g. clean a little bit, just a little bit everyday, get a disposable duster with the extendable handle.... they are so easy to use!! You only need to spend a few mins every now and then VOILA...... everything "appears" to be clean!!

Good luck. I hope you feel better soon.

Answer 3

it is just a phase. seperation anxiety. it lasts a few weeks. it shows that baby now recognises you as mum, not just any old person.

it is a bind, being screamed at while you try to go to the loo or anything.

try giving her a toy or something before you leave the room. it might distract her just for a minute.

try putting her in a bouncy chair where she can still see you if you are working.

keep talking to her, your voice is reassuring to her. ignore her if she acts up. the sooner she learns this behaviour is not accepted, the easier she will be in the future!

just make sure she is safe. sit her in a high chair or car seat  or pushchair with a harness so she cannot fall or get hurt.

i was alone a lot when my son was small. most of the time, i could do something for a bit, if he was in the bouncy chair with a toy and he could see me.

Answer 4

Your daughter is going through seperation anxiety.  Don't worry, this is normal and healthy as it shows she has a good bond with you.  My daughter is going through it too and what I do is take her with me around the house while I clean up.  She sits on the floor with some toys and I put the radio on and sing along - she loves that, lol!  Try getting her some musical toys like shakers or bells or a little tambourine. My daughter loves these and (as long as she can see me) she will play happily for ages which buys me some time to tidy up, cook etc. You can get these cheap on Ebay.  Good luck!

Answer 5

this is a phase, it will be over an no time.  Good luck.