I cant seem to get it right?

Question

he was a bit of a bully, and brutally honest to most opther people, but he was always dignified and lovely with me... and half the time, he was right, about the way he treated others.. its just, where most people are censored and dont tell people what they really think, he isnt and he says whatever is on his mind... people always asked me how i could love him the way i did, and i said it was because he treated me differently - he knew how to tell me things in such a way that it wasnt hurtful.. our communication was great and i couldnt have imagined anything better... we've been together a year now and while i still love him, even more than the day we met, we seem to fight a rediculous amount more... he hurts my feelings, not on purpose, but he went from being kind to treating me like everyone else... if i didnt hear something he said, he tells me i need to invest in a hearing aid; if i forget to do one little miniscule thing he makes me feel like its the end of the world... then when i tell him he's being silly because there is another alternative to what i forgot, he gets mad at me for taking offence and thats what starts the fight... because i tell him he hurt my feelings.. basically, i feel like i cant do anything right, although everything i have been doing is to help him, so he can spend more time with his kids and riding his bike... if i tell him i am upset with something, he says he's tired of always being wrong..

so, what i really want to do is change the way i look at things.. i know perception is everything, so maybe if i could stop letting his dumb remarks hurt my feelings, i wont be mad at him, and he wont have to get so deffensive... i love him dearly and will do whatever it takes to make this right again... so, can anyone tell me how to fix myself?

Answer 1

theres nothing you can do. you could do everything by his book and it still wont be right. some people have to put others down to make themselves feel better and mighty and be the one in control and thats your man.he will always find something wrong,its his nature. you either learn to live with being in the wrong or open your eyes and see its time to make yourself happy and let him be.

Answer 2

You are right - you should learn to see things differently - with someone else. Life is much too short to be spending it with unnecessary unhappiness. I spent 22 wasted years with a person who did not love me enough to care if I was happy or even content. After divorce I met the most wonderful person I had ever known and learned what love should be. You should not ever have to wonder about anything - you should just know it and feel it. My love story ended tragically with her death from cancer, but it taught me that there are wonderful caring people out there who just want to love you to death. Don't settle - you will never be fulfilled if you do.  

Answer 3

Allow yourself to consider the possibility sooner, rather than later, that this was not meant to be.

You really do deserve to be treated better.

Answer 4

It's called mind-control.Don't let it over come you.

Answer 5

No one deserves to be talked to the way he talks to you. Get a hearing aid? Maybe he needs to go to a few anger management classes and change his ways. If he loves you , then he would not want to hurt your feelings and he would choose his words more carefully. Do not let him continue to talk to you that way!

Answer 6

You say you have been with him for a year?

It usually takes a good year or more to really get to know someone, to see their true colors.  Now you see his.  He treated you different in the beginning because he was hiding his true person.   Now you know.

I say get out now before you allow yourself to do something really stupid like marry him.

Sorry!