I cant stand it anymore what do i do?

Question

im 19 years old. i am a senior in high school. and my mom has me in the house all day. I am young and i want to have fun, she dont let she always thinks the worse about me. today my cousin invited me and my little sister to the movies. but earlier i was i.ming my boyfriend and he asked me what was i doing today and tomorrow i told him nothing that i knew off. As you know i never go anywhere and my mom get on me all the time. i Just cant stand it i know that im 19 and i am allowed to do what i want but if i do she will get really mad at me and be really upset and say all this **** about me oh god anyway since she saw that i.m , mycousin came over and asked me and my little sister in the movies but then she started yelling at me and told me that i better not meet my boyfriend at the movies because she was going to kick my ***. well i been doing good in school and i been with my boyfriend about 9 months and i have not had my first date with him and i really care for him but her god i just cant stand. when i do go out i she interrogates the people that i go with and that is so embarrasing... she always doubting me cuz i use to skip school about 2 years ago and i failed a grade. but since then i have not and it has been 2 years that i been good, she never wants to take me out and she always has me here in this stupid house cleaning i cant even go to the corner store with her thinking that im going to meet someone. i am young i just want to go to the movies is not like im asking to go to club i mean is just going to be my guy cousin and little sister why is she talking **** what do i do??? i need help.....

Answer 1

Not being rude but is english your second language, if i understand the question correctly your mother is just worried about you and a bit overbearing.She doesn't want you to get into trouble or make a mistake.Though i think at 19 dating a boy should be ok within reason,and i do understand your frustration  your mother is driving you crazy and i understand this but it is coming from a place of love.maybe you should try talking to her about how you feel explain to her that you are mature enough to handle a boyfriend and you would like to have a little more freedom.she will eventually relax good luck to you.

Answer 2

You need to do what you can to build trust. She doesn't trust you anymore. Sit down and try to talk to your mom and see what you can do to help her trust you, maybe some small steps, little things to start out with.  

If this isn't helping and she won't budge, then you'll either have to live with it or move out.

Answer 3

Your mom is afraid you will have a child out of weddlock and then not only will she have you to take care of ,now there is a baby and most likely a loser for a boy friend that can't support you. You think you are different but you must know some others this has happened to. You have a lot of time to enjoy a husband. use this time in your life to get an education while you don't have a bunch of bills to pay.  If there other reasons I will need more infomation. Hope this will help.

Answer 4

Your mom is probably worried about something that  happened to her in the past. Sit down a talk to her without yelling or screaming. Tell her the way you feel. You may be able to work things out. I am sure that she is just worried about you getting into trouble. Show her you can be trusted.

Answer 5

For whatever reason, it looks as if you have lost your mother's trust.  What happened to put you both in this position.   Trust begets trust you know!    You are 19 and you say you are with your boyfriend for 9 months but not had your first date with him.  What on earth does that mean.  How can you have a boyfriend, and know him at all, if you havn't had a date with him.  

I would look back and see what happened to make your mother mistrust you so.  She is not like this for no reason at all.   Then sit her down and have a talk with her.   IF you have changed then tell her than and say she has to start trusting you somehow, so would she please start now.  Tell her that you will prove to her that you can be trusted again, and will keep in contact with her by phone, when you are out for the evening.

Then, make darn sure that you do not do anything behind her back.  DO NOT meet your boyfriend without discussing it with her, and do exactly what you say you are going to do.

The other side of the coin is, that since you are 19, are you working, and do you earn any money,.  You should start saving for an apartment for yourself, so that you will be able to support yourself.  Whilst you are under your Mother's roof, you have to abide by her rules.   If you were 15, 16 I would not be saying this, but since you are 19 you should start preparing to live on your own and support yourself.  That being said, even if you move out, you still want to be on good terms with your Mum, so make an effort to gain her trust back and she will probably, slowly, ;but surely, start to trust you again.

Grandmother of 7  

Answer 6

get a student loan and go to college.  learn to take care of yourself which is the best thing you can do for yourself.  go to college away from home but do it.  good luck

Answer 7

You need to keep working on building her trust back. It sounds like she is worried about you.

Just give her time. You have to follow her rules while under her roof.

Answer 8

You have 2 choices.

1. Shut up and shape up to your parental standards.

2. Get a job, move out and start a life of your own.

you are of adult age now after all.

Answer 9

go to college so you can have a career and move out.

In the meantime, dont plan on marrying a guy just so you can get out of the house cause my friend did that and married him and now she's miserable.

Answer 10

shes crazy! move out! your old enough

Answer 11

My life used to be the same way, but I left home before I was 18.  I'm alot older now they still question me at times, believe it or not, just like they used to even when I was young although I don't live with them.  You need a talk with your mom about how your feeling when she's talking to you like this or questioning others.  Your old enough to make your own decisions at 19, at 18 really.  It could be that when your mom was a young girl something bad happened to her, and maybe that is why she is overprotective like she is.  I think you shoud start doing a few little things at a time, like take a daily walk or just take time to youself.  Your mom could always make you move out but I doubt that.  You have to live and learn on your own, there is no other way.  You might even just want to start thinking about getting a job and moving out.  You are old enough.        

Answer 12

Your 19 and live at home. Do you honestly think that you have any say? Your still in high school. I had to listen to my parents until I moved out at the age of 20. Have some respect. Its your moms house, not yours. You will listen to her until you leave. And she will never be done being your mom.

Your just a little brat who thinks, believes and feels that you should be able to do what you want, when you want to and not care. There are dire consciences and you need to learn that she has your best interests at heart. She isn't trying to control you. She isn't trying to make your life h**l, your the one doing that by resisting her and what she expects from you. Listen for once instead of feeling like a victim.

There is a reason why she is the mom and your the kid.  

Answer 13

you need to have a face to face with her. Find a slow time to catch her alone.

   Tell her kind of what you said here.

    That your 19yrs old, you know you did some dumb things a couple of yrs back, but you have changed and your school work should be proof.

Tell her that you have absolutely no intention of sneaking around with your bf or anyone else and that if she wants questions answered to ask you instead of interogateing friends. That you are capable of telling her the truth every time and your at an age where she needs to be giving you some independence and space.

   Tell her she needs to start treating you like an adult and that you would like to be able to talk to her as one.

Answer 14

Mom has some mental problems. get out ASAP. She will drive you into a nuthouse. She must be tested for mental illness and control issues, anger repressed, anxiety issues, etc.

Answer 15

whew, dont hold so much in.Listen to your moms

Answer 16

Pack your things, leave the house now, pick up your birth control pills along the way, and go live with friends or your boyfriend. Get a job, and once you get your apartment start going to school for your GED. There is no reason a 19 year old should put up with any, ANY commands or direction from their parents. Their parents are done. All their parents should be doing after I'm 18 and living on my own is minding one's own business, setting a good example, and providing unconditional love.