I cant stand my mum..?

Question

she drinks every night, she gets depressed, all emotional and staggers to bed at like 4 in the morning, she acts stupid like a child. she often cries, says she hate my dad and her life shes said other reasons too whoch are awful to hear. one incident where she came into my room in the middle of the night hardly any clothes on and said "hes coming to get me" all scared, and i was really.. i dunno.. ammoyed, upset. she's ok during the day though, shes just normal. tried telling her how her drinking makes us feel but she just shrugs, sometimes says it wont happen again but it does. i can just bear her through the day. at dinner 2day she said dont read the magazine at the table, and i said quietly "yeah i know" and put it away, she said "dont talk back to me" and i was like wat did i say, and she was lik dont back chat! i was really confused and just stayed quiet. then something was on the news and me and my sis were talking and she shouted and screamed "shut up for god sake" and put her hands up to her head and put her head dowwn.i never seen her like this so i said, "why are you acting like that for?" then my dad shouted at me (which he really rarely does) "just shut up ok" and cursed at me. im really confused, maybe their having a bad day, but my mum. dont know what to with her, now i cant really handle her day or night, really starting to resent her. she has problems, i dont know if shes happy... i should really just keep my distance from her maybe??? what can i do?

Answer 1

Oh, luv.  I feel for you.  You are in a dangerous situation, and it sounds like your mum is an alcoholic, and your dad may be abusive as well.  You need to find a friend, teacher, counselor, or someone you trust to intervene on your behalf.  Support groups like AlaTeen can help you cope with this dreadful disease, but above all else, you need to take care of you first.  Get away any way you can, so you can begin to heal.  You have a VERY rough journey ahead, and I wish you the best.  If you need to chat, I'm at lzxyrg at yahoo dot com.  I care...

Answer 2

try to make them happy by cooking dinner or something..

don't do anything that will upset them again even though

you think you didn't do anything wrong ( you really didn't do anything wrong ) so don't worry... try to understand her feelings..

even if we can't understand adults.. :( maybe she was

having some bad day. but just because she was like that, doesn't mean you need to keep distance between you and her. moms

are hard to understand, but once you make them happy, they can

be really nice :)

Answer 3

Do you not have any family, aunties or uncles you could perhaps go and stay with for a while while your mum sorts herself out. She sounds like she needs professional help. Maybe you should write her a letter or your dad, and leave it somewhere where you know they'll find it. This way you can escape confrontation and give them time to think about the situation you're in?!

Answer 4

u can move out

u can notify social services who will give u ur own home

Answer 5

  you ever heard of a disfunional family ,well thats what you sound like ,you need some help ,talk to your minister or a counclor at school

Answer 6

call the suicide hotline

01723 369155

Answer 7

It maybe that their is something troubling her or depression (which 1 in 4 people will suffer from in their life). To say keep your distance may not be right. This may make the situation worse if this is Depression, like no-one wants to be near me. Or maybe she wants to be alone for a while. its a hard one...

Answer 8

She's going to be like that until she stops drinking and deals with her nutrition.

I'm sorry.  It's a tough situation for you.

Answer 9

check into the al anon program, they can help you get through this..you didn't say how old you are, i am guessing a teen....try talking to your dad..

Answer 10

i have the same exact problem, i hate it. me and my mom constantly fight it's always screaming all the time. i just stay in my room when she's home, i just try and keep my distance, because when i get mad i get stressed, and i get stomach ulcer's, and can't eat anything. so i would just avoid it. i'm really sorry, i know how hard that is, mines the same exact situation.

Answer 11

this may be hard for you to read but you must. it seems to me that your mum has 2 problems one is she is an alcoholic the other maybe a mental condition called skitzophroia (wrong spelling) sometimes people here voices in there head when you were at the table may she herd you say stuff that you did  not say and  when you were watching tv she was telling the voices in her head to shut up not you.

GET HER HELP

ask her if she heres voices and stuff and be understanding

Answer 12

just  tell  here

Answer 13

Try and talk to another family member who you are close to about what is going on at home and how it's making you feel.

It sounds to me like your mum has some problems - she should go and see a doctor and explain that she's drinking a lot and explain the moods that she's having.

A grown up family member or close friend needs to have a serious talk with her and make her realise how she's making the people who live with her feel and how important it is for her to get some help to get herself sorted out.

Good Luck :o)

Answer 14

I don't like to have to tell you this but it sounds a lot to me like your mother is or is getting very near to being an alcoholic or at the very least she has a drink problem the best advice i can give to you and i know it wont be easy is to try and get her to seek help and if she wont try and get help for her don't forget two very important things the first is that although it may not seem like it your mother does love you and the second is that thee is no shame in having a drink problem it is an illness like any other  

Answer 15

Sarah I am so sorry family life is so difficult for you.

I do not know how old you are but could you talk to your father about what is going on? I doubt trying to talk to your mother would be a good idea but try to understand adults go through some pretty traumatic things and she may really be hurting. She could also be suffering from depression or be an alcoholic. I don't know as I only have what you have told me to go on.

If it is too daunting to approach your father is there some other adult, a teacher, relative someone you could confide in?

Answer 16

I don't like my mom either. Your mothers drinking problem may need to be dealt with tell one of you other family member about it like an aunt or an uncle. The thing about her yelling shut up, she might have been having a headache or been arguing with you dad usually when that happens there is something else bothering them that only they knwo about, like adult stuff. You should keep your distance from her and she will realize what going on and try to become closer from you. You should tell her how much her drinking hurts you (make sure you say that) and how it has a bad affect on you and how it is not a good example for you and your sister. You and your sister should stick together and come up with some ideas. Hope i helped!

Answer 17

it sounds like you should not speak unless spoken to most of the time. when ur mom is upset, dont ask wat you did wrong, stay silent. when she tells you to do something, apologize fordisobeying. be a good and obedient child. look on line for helpline to call. many places tell kids how they should act and what they can do about theyre parent who is addicted to drugs or alchohol.

good luck. make sure u call a helpline.

Answer 18

I notice you don,t mention your father very much.What is her life like with him,just think about it,there is never just one side to any heartbreaks or tragedies.Drink however, is never an answer,it just dulls the pain.

Answer 19

when something is on someones mind to do, they're going to do it. especially habits.I was an active alcoholic at one time also and you couldn't tell me nothing. so don't waste your time trying to change her because you can't. you can change way you feel and the way you think.the only thing I can think of for you to try is telling her whenever you see her that you love her. however, while she's drinking avoid her to the best of your ability. maybe try praying for her every time it's on your mind. she's defenseless against the power

of prayer. i hope good things for you.

Answer 20

Aww. may God bless you sweetheart.

Answer 21

my dad shouted at me (which he really rarely does) -- means something has gone on. This really needs to get sorted and fast, you only have one childhood and it shouldn't be ruined. What you need is a family talk to find out what's happening, tell them your staying somewhere for a few nights because it's affecting you too, tell them your feelings about what's going on and tell your Mum you are there for her and if there's anything that needs to be resolved you will work through it together,  it's up to you to break the communication barrier....

Good Luck.

Tasmin xx