I cant stop this thinking, how do it RIGHT NOW ?

Question

Hi there. Im the 35 year old UK man who has recently been posting about my colombian ex-girlfriend ( after 2.5 years she totally deserts me)! My next question is..........how can i stop thinking about her ? Sometimes i feel like im going to go totally insane......its been 6 months since she decided not to bother with me, but i dream about her, i find myself sexually fantasising about her ( even when i tell myself not to, arrgghhh) and every morning i feel terribly depressed and she is immediately in my thoughts.

Im wondering if i consistently tell myself i must forget her from now on she will disappear from my thoughts.

I almost feel like i can see her laughing at me with her new partner......telling him how pathetic i am.

I really love her and the fact i never speak to her now kills me. I feel like im in love with an illusion or most of the time i feel like she is still with me for a moment when the next moment i know she isnt.

I just wont seem to accept it.

What is going on ? and how do i block all this ? I feel like im walking around without my soul mate and it kills me

Answer 1

sorry to say, but you will think of her for a long time....the pain will slowly ease off, but she will always be there.  try going out and helping other people...like visiting nursing homes, etc.  Go help somebody.  

or just pray for God to fill that void she left.

that will work sooner than later.

Answer 2

it'll took a very long time to let go that feeling...

but, you should do your best to let her go..

why don't you take a vacation alone/with your closest friend to a place you always want to visit but never had the chance to go.  

Answer 3

if you can imagine her laughing at you then couldn't have been that special. And she wasn't, no one is. Romance is an illusion that is peddled by hollywood and Mills&Boon. Go out and sleep with 10 other women and then tell me she was 'that' special  

Answer 4

:( it took me 4 years once to get over an ex.

Answer 5

Okay, I haven't read any of your previous questions, but sounds like your heartbroken ):

Look, I know you said you don't talk to her anymore, but how about suggesting to her, that you two be friends, if anything . . .

I can reassure you that if she is good as you see her as, then she won't be laughing at you with her new partner.

And to be honest, you're going to find it extremely difficult to accept it, 2 and a half years doesn't seem that long to some people, but to others it's a VERY long time, and getting over these few years can be like a living h**l.

But as I said before, I suggest you trying to at least talk to her, or even him about being friends, talking on the phone etc, this could make you feel somewhat better.

Also, I'd say try going out, and finding a new woman, even if you're just friends with her, this will take your mind completely off the topic of your last girlfriend, and you never know, you could find someone 100% better than your ex.

But whatever happens, I wish you SO MUCH luck, and I just hope you get over all of your depression and whatnot, it sounds awful.

):

Good luck, my friend. x.

Answer 6

I'm in a similar situation to you and I am struggling with it on a minute by minute and hour by hour basis.  My relationship also ended a few months ago.  The misery comes over me in waves and each day that I think I am starting to feel a little better I remember something else or some other little thing about the relationship hits me and I spend the day crying, feeling sick and just physically unable to do anything.  

Emotionally I could not say where I am because I have never ever felt this devastated in my life.  Like you, I also feel that I have lost my soul mate and I don't know how to carry on without him.  But then I think how cruel and cold he has been towards me since it ended, how could he do that after all he said?  I don't understand how people find it so easy to destroy someone they were professing to love five minutes ago.  How easy I must be to deceive.

Anyhow, sorry to ramble, just letting you know I understand how awful it is.  I do think it is important to try and get out, even for a walk, or run or anything whenever you can.  I know that's hard too because frankly my attention span at the moment is about 3 minutes, I go out and then want to come back home again but I guess you just have to keep trying.  

I have myself asked a few questions on here and read a few other similar questions and answers and there is some great advice in all of these; You cannot miss a love you never had. Don't waste your time thinking about someone who is not thinking about you.   The truth of the matter is if these people were our soul mates, we would still be with them so in truth they were not and are not.  There is someone else out there for you, you just have to recover from this and go and find them, as easy as that lol?

Answer 7

Been there dude, you just have to consciously try to forget about it. Tell yourself you don't care, eventually you actually won't, and you'll be able to move on.

Answer 8

focus your attention to something else. find another girl. and of course, pray.