I can’t help but feel uncomfortable and get jealous when my bf looks at other women. What should I do?

Question

I feel he will actually leave me in a store to get a look at a female if he thinks she may be attractive. I have even accused him of making eye contact with a waitress once in a restaurant. I happened to be in front of him and turned around to see if he was still gawking. I have tried to explain to him how he makes me feel, yet he still does it. He also seems to be focused on body image which makes me feel uncomfortable about myself most of the time. Can you help me with words to explain how I feel, most of the time I keep it inside and let it slide. I have a hard time communicating feelings to him on any subject, this just happens to be the worst.

Answer 1

Leave him! sorry he sounds like a jerk especially doing it infront of you n know how you feel about it n still does it. i wouldnt put up with it.

Answer 2

This is a common problem for women of all ages. Men have a tendency to have a wandering eye when it comes to beautiful women. Some women even have a wandering eye when it comes to a handsome man. It is human nature to look at something you find appealing or beautiful. When you are in a relationship this “looking” often feeds into your partner’s insecurities. In today’s culture women are usually more concerned with body image than men. They are being forced to live up to an impossible standard. This can make many women insecure about themselves and their body image. This insecurity becomes exposed when your partner looks at other women. It makes you feel like you aren’t good enough.

Try explaining this to your boyfriend. He needs to understand that you are insecure about your body image, and when he “checks out” other women it makes you feel like you aren’t good enough. Hopefully he will care enough to make an effort to not feed your insecurity.

Tell him you both can work together to fix this. He can start by trying to control himself a little bit more and make an effort to keep his gawking to a minimum. Also, he can work on not being so concerned with body-image, no matter how counter-culture this may be.

You can start by trying to work on your own insecurity. Understand these feelings you have about “not being good enough” stem from society blasting you with images of women that supposedly “have no flaws”. This has probably been thrown in your face your entire life. Don’t fall into this trap anymore. Don’t let mainstream society’s “definition of beauty” control you. It is a mirage; 50 years ago “beautiful women” were pasty white and full figured. Now, “beautiful women” are paper thin and tan. This will change again and again. Recognize it for what it truly is and learn to love yourself. Forget what the magazines say is beautiful and break away from these insecurities.