I caught him watching p**n. I'm abit hurt!?

Question

Hi,

I don't have s*x often with my partner. He isn't highly sexed so when i found him looking at a p**n site on his laptop (walking in on him) with a semi! I was very hurt!

Should i be? I feel like he needs others girls to get turned on by, not me! Like i don't do it for him!

Help! How do i stop feeling rejected and like it's me who's the problem!

(30 years old) i think i'm quite a fit 30 year old.

He is 28

Thanks kelly

Answer 1

It's a male thing and a many female thing too.

If you are sexually incompatible, do you want to spend the rest of your life like this regardless of his reasons??

Or join in watching it with him! Volunter to stimulate him sexually as he watches?

Answer 2

You shouldn't be hurt at all. p**n is only there when you aren't. Its just extra stimulus. He doesn't prefer it over you. He probably gets turned on at times and knows that he can't get it from you and turns to his p**n. Its a million times better than if he was getting it from an actual girl. Just cause he does that to p**n does not mean at all that these girls are better than you in any way. Maybe he even likes a certain position in a p**n shot that he isn't able to do with you.

But you shouldn't be hurt at all. Its the least that he could do when you aren't there to satisfy himself. He is still being faithful to you. If you take p**n away however, that could change. Go easy on him. All men do it if there involved or not. And it doesn't really have anything to do with how often he's getting it from you.

Answer 3

It appears as though he wants more and he is not getting enough from you, so he has to go to another source of pleasure. He may appear to not want it but mabye he has a way of hiding his feelings or not expressing them very well.

I think you have every right to be offended. Mabye you should just confront him and sit down and have a chat with him. Ask him why he did it/ has been doing it and what in his opinion would stop him from doing it. If it's a habit he has started try to work him out of it by spending more time with him if possible.

Apart from that there is no way for you to stop feeling rejected because you AREN'T the probelm, he is.

Think about this however what will happen if you take it away from him? In my opinion it is much better to have him into p**n rather than another physical girl and cheating on you. So go easy on him, it could be a lot worse.

Answer 4

It's a general tendency.

Just chill out...

Answer 5

Guys basically are dogs and sniff around,and it really means nothing at all.

Might be he needs a boost to crank up his s*x drive.

Would not feel ignored or jealous at all.

You should have jumped him there and then.

Space.

Answer 6

You're over-reacting.  It's not uncommon for guys his age to be into p**n.  And there's a big difference in occasionally watching it and being addicted.  You may also be shocked to discover that he still masturbates - alone.

You sound kinda insecure, but that may be that I'm reading it wrong.  Guys like to be needed, but they don't like to be nagged or whined to.

Answer 7

Men are like this...

Answer 8

It's true.... most guys like p**n.  They look at it and m********e to it whether they are in a relationship or not... so in that regard he is being a quite 'typical' male.

Try not to be hurt because he is not having a 'relationship' with the girls in the pron.  Rightly or wrongly they are just 'objects' used for sexual stimulation.

The fact that you feel like he is masturbating to p**n rather than having s*x with you is something that you may need to talk to him about.  Be up front and tell him that you are not 'getting enough' and that you would like him to do a little more to meet your needs.

But don't expect him to give up p**n or masturbation completely... that's simply not being realistic and you will just force him to more secretive.

Honesty is almost always the best policy.

Answer 9

p**n is totally normal for a guy.  All guys like p**n.  

Me and my wife often watch p**n together cuz it stimulates us.  Luckily I have a wife who realises that p**n is not a reflection of her bein inadequate or anything like that...just the opposite in fact.  The p**n makes us both more horny.

Try watchin it with him.  I bet he will get turned on to you quick.

Just get it outta your head that you are bein rejected or that there is any kind of problem with you.  

One thing about p**n and guys...we do not associate p**n girls with our gfs or wives (way different class there).  At least for me I wouldn't ever consider having real s*x with a p**n star.  I like to watch them (esp. lesbians), but ony to get me hot and horny.

Answer 10

No most definately do not feel hurt. You can't stop something like this it's always going to happen, but would you rather him looking at harmless p**n and him actually cheating on you with another girl?

I think you'd robably want him to look at p**n then....

It's normal!!  

Answer 11

You shouldn't feel too hurt from him looking at p**n. Just about every guy looks at it, even IF their not of age. It definitely doesn't mean that he prefers it over you. But if your the one usually up for it and he isn't he might just be shy, nervous or going through something. Depending on how he said or why he doesn't want to have s*x may have some sort of clue as to what the problem is.

Answer 12

Men enjoy looking at p**n, plain and simple.

Women sometimes have a hard time understanding this, especially women who don't enjoy p**n, they feel that men should be like them.

He isn't rejecting you, he enjoys watching others having sexual activity, which is normal for a male.    This has nothing to do with you.