I caught my dad cheating.. now what do I do?

Question

One night while my mom was gone for work I was supposed to stay the night at my friends house. But my friend and I got in a fight so I came home. When I walked past my parents bedroom I caught my dad cheating on my mom.. with his boss!!! I ran straight back to my friend's house and now I'm not sure what to do. I want to tell my mom but it would kill her. I've also noticed that my parents have been getting into screaming fights more. I don't want to split up my family, but I have to do something. Please please help me!

Answer 1

dnt worry it happeneds to every1 i dnt mean to say it to were u shouldnt feel sad or upset but u need to tell ur mom and say u need to confrunt dad but dnt say were u heard it from

think of it this way not as bad as my dad he has 4 girlfriedns and im not sayin tht jst to make u feel better its the truth

but im so very sry if u want to tlk to some1 who has been thro this e-mail me

[e-mail]

Answer 2

you should tell. there's no point in keeping it on the low. maybe this would bring your family together instead of tearing it apart. yeah, there'll be hardships but your mom needs to know this. hiding it for an even longer time would  hurt her more

Answer 3

some times thing like this is besr lelft alone it can back fire or just have a word with your dad does he no you no if not tell him when he is on his own  

Answer 4

That's horrible....sorry to hear that!  Well, your mom has the right to know and needs to know. There really is no way around this. Yes, it will probably cause a break-up/divorce, but it needs to be brought to her attention. It is something that they are going to have to work out with their relationship. Sometimes couples are strong enough to overcome situations like this and sometimes not. Not only is it unfair to your mom it's also unfair to you and your siblings (if you have any). It's a shame that these things happen, but you have to tell her hun. I hope everything works out.

Answer 5

i think you should contact the company's human resources department where your dad works and tell them that you saw the boss and your dad making moves on eachother and (get some pics of them together) if they ask for evidence give it to them. that way the company can get rid of the boss for what she was doing and your family will have a better chance of staying together

Answer 6

i agree with julia n.. talk to him and tell him he needs to talk to your mom or you will

Answer 7

You are a child...you should not be forced to make adult decisions!  

I would suggest informing  Good Ole Dad that you know and that he has 48 hours to tell your mother himself!  After that,,,it's a fair playing field!  If he doesn't tell your mother, tell her, IN FRONT of your father!! He needs to be accountable for his actions, which are sooo nasty, not you.

And you are not splitting up your family!  Good Ole Dad did that all on his own!!

Answer 8

before you say anything to your mom...you should really talk to your dad.

dont take the c**p from your dad when he says: its none of your business bla bla bla you are too young bla bla bla....

it is your business coz you are his kid and old enough to see the good and bad. talk to him..if he wants to save the marriage and end the affair.

after talking to your dad...then you can talk to your mom about it. make sure she is calm  and understands that your dad still loves her very much and wants to make the marriage work ( if that's the case of course...)

hope these helps and good luck!

Answer 9

believe it or not i have been in the same situation, i caught my dad cheating on my mom with his brothers wife when i was younger. i kept it to myself because i didn't know what to do plus i was really young. but years later i told my mom, she was hurt...i say it's best you tell your mom because she has every right to know.

Answer 10

okay, that is crazy wrong...and in your house? in his marriage bed!

you HAVE to do something.

write a letter to your dad, and pass it to him. have it say something like.

"dad, im too desgusted to say this to your face, but i saw you having s*x with your boss that night in our house and ran back to my friends house. I am giving you the chance to tell mum your cheating. Im giving you today and tomorrow. If you dont come clean, i am going to tell her myself, in front of you. Sorry dad, but what your doing is messed up and I love mum enough to be honest with her."

this will make him see how much of a dirt bag he has been, it will also not give him opportunity to argue. if you speak to him, he might try to yell over the top of you or walk off and not listen or whatever, but if you pass him a note, he has to read it. he cant  just stop halfway thru or anything and youll be able to express yourself without arguing or getting angry or exchanging angry words.

your mum needs to know. she has a right to know, and then to be able to decide on what to do. He has broken their marriage promises and she has every right to divorce him if she wants. If they have been arguing alot, she might already know.

look after yourself. if your dad becomes abusive, stay at a family members, and contact your mother immediately to tell her whats happened as he will still be mad when she gets home.

Answer 11

An answer to your important question.

Please call with any problem, anytime:

Girls and Boys Town "National Hotline"

Phone: [phone]  (toll free)

Email: [e-mail]

Answer 12

FIRST OF ALL I WOULD TELL MY MOM THATS JUST WRONG IF U DONT ULL MAKE  UR MOM MADER IF SHE NEVER KNEW AND U DIDNT TELL HER SO U REALLY REALLY NEED TO TELL HER I THINK THAT UR DAD NEEDS TO THINK BEFORE HE ACTS I JUST THINK THAT IS SO SO WRONG SO TELL UR MOM PLEASE IT WOULD BE MUCH BETTER AND IF I WERE U I WOULDNT TELL THE DAD CAUSE THEN WHAT IF HE DOES SOMETHING TO U OR THREATINS U OR SOMETHING BUT THEN I WOULD TELL THE DAD CAUSE THEN HE MIGHT STOP SO THAT THE MOM WONT GET MAD BUT SHE WOULD STILL GET MAD DO WHAT U THINK IS RIGHT BUT U REALLY NEED TO TELL ONE OF UR PARENTS I WOULD TELL MY MOM JUST TO LET U KNOW

Answer 13

talk to your dad, tell him you saw what was going on and that he should talk to your mom about, because you dont want to get in the middle of things...good luck sweety!

Answer 14

tell your mom

Answer 15

go out  with your mom away form the house and tell her ... its not fair for her to be blind sighted  

Answer 16

Talk to your father. Tell him what you saw, and ask him what he's going to do about his behavior. And dont say another word. Let him talk his way into a corner, dont answer any questions, merely deflect "what I think is of no importance, what you are going to do is".

when he's done, leave the room without saying anything.

Answer 17

When I was 16 I can home from school midday...as i rounded the corner I saw my Dad walking out of our home with another woman...to add insult to injury she had a bunch of roses in her hand that she had ckipped from the rose bushes Mom and i had planted.  He didnt see because I went in the opposite direction. I didnt have the heart to tell my mom what happened that day. Looking back I think I made the right decision because it all came out eventually on its own that he was having an affair.  If I had to make a choice in telling you what to do..if I  was in your shoes I would talk to Dad and not Mom.

Answer 18

You have to say something to your mom. I would try sitting her down while your dad is not home and tell her exactly what you saw. It might hurt your mom but you cannot let this go on forever. Your mom will more than likely find out eventually so telling her now will save her more hurt. She will honestly be proud of you for having the guts to come to her about it. I am sorry you had to see that and I am sorry for what will probably happen. But maybe they will work it out. Good Luck.  

Answer 19

tell her.....do you really want her to be with a cheater?......just tell her

Answer 20

well all the women say tell... sometimes it is best to leave things alone.. your mom may know more than you think and is ok with it..  

Answer 21

omg! im sorry,

you sit down and tell you dad. Tell him he needs to come clean with mom, or else you will.

You really need to let your dad tell her.

Answer 22

TELLL HER

Answer 23

Hmm... why were you "suppose" to stay at your friends house when your mother is at work? Is that your biological father? Does she trust him around you? And since he disrespected your mom, you need to  tell him with an adult present. I'm so sorry you're going through this. If he doing something else that is wrong ...call the department of social servces ( child protection agency) . You have rights too.

Answer 24

Oh my god, I'm so sorry. That must be horrible for you. Tell her. And suggest family counseling to atleast give it a shot for your family. But if it doesn't work out, it could be for the better. Your dad could just keep hurting both of you. Just know, none of this is your fault and even if your parents aren't loving each other very well, they still love you. Prayers.

Answer 25

You're mom probably already knows.

But I would tell your dad that you would appreciate him not bringing his mistress to the house.

Answer 26

As much as you want to keep your family together, your mom deserve to know.  If you think this news would kill her, imagine when she finds out that you knew for so long and kept it from her.  That would definitely do the job of killing someone where their family kept this cheating business away from her.  

Answer 27

Confront your father. Tell him you saw him and he needs to make a decision before you talk to your mom. Your mom deserves to know. It is not fair that she is walking around thinking she is the only woman in your dad's life when she is not. She will find out sooner or later and I would think she would be hurt and ashamed if she found out you knew and said nothing.

Answer 28

I would tell my mom, but it's perfectly understandable that you're scared! She'll probably find out anyways, but better sooner than later. You will not be the one responsible for breaking up your family, if that even happens. By telling her yourself you'll have the opportunity tell her how important it is that your family stays a family. Your parents may choose to seek therapy and resolve their issues, but regardless, this isn't your fault. You may want to also speak with your dad about this, but that's up to you. You don't deserve to have this on your chest, this is not your fault, and it's upsetting that your dad put you in this position. Good luck with everything. Remember this isn't your fault!

Answer 29

First, you wouldn't be splitting them up, this is your dad's fault.

If you talk to him he will probably deny it, or say he will never do it again-which is a lie.

If you tell your mom she will be hurt, but she may prefer to know. you could tell her you have a friend at school, cheated on, should you tell, "mom would you want to know?" If she says yes tell her. If she says no, don't tell her.

If you still feel you should do something you could tell your mom's close friend or family member (sister?) and let the adults deal with it.