I caught my friends 11yr old daughter at the shops with a group of kids, no adults, she told me not to tell?

Question

my daughters friends are all 11yrs old, today was a day off school, i took my kids to the plaza and saw her school friends mucking about,, this happened a few months ago aswell, im friends with her mum and she said ''please dont tell my mum we are here alone''

as her mum works and theres a day off school she drops her at another girls house for the day, where that mum drops them off at the shopping centre and picks them up hours later,, while there they meet up with boys in their class aswell and a few months back they all got kicked out of the cinema cos they were stuffing about,, i saw them that day and thats how i knew!,, she begged me then not to tell her mum aswell

if her mum knew about this she would freak out as shes real strict,,, am i being irresponsible for not dobbing? or should i just not give a d**n cos my child isnt involved?

if i dob my daughter will get teased for sure, thats why i havent dobbed,,,,yet!

what would u do?,, thanks, i need advice here xxxxxxx

Answer 1

I'd be a little concerned they've started 'stuffing about' and getting into even minor truoble this could potentially escalate. I am strict with my boys (all five of them) and the older ones who are my step sons are all cool about discussing things they had a lot of behaviour problems including rides home in police cars when they lived with their mom. I guess you should mention it to your friend as if the worst came to the worse how would you feel? offer to the girl that she could come out with you and your daughter on an off days if you can...explain to your daughter if you do it too that way she'll be prepared x x good luck its not nice but you're the adult, even if shes not your responsibility you obviously feel a duty to her and her mom.

Added: does your friend even know this other friend is dropping them off? is your friend doing this purely out of necessity to work, and isn't aware of what her child is up to...her trust may be misplaced in this other childcare friend.

Answer 2

hmm. well if i were you i would tell the parents. because what if something bad happened to them. They can get into serious problems. Have a talk with the parent and just let her know what kind of shannigans her daughter is getting into. I understand you being concerned if they tease your daughter. But if they do then she will realize that they weren't her true friends.

Answer 3

Your friend entrusted her daughter's friends and family to chauffuer the 11year old around.  The 11 year old and her friends are dropped off at the mall by an adult who obviously trusts them to stay there so go with the flow and let it go.  It is a day off of school after all.  The same adult that dropped them off will pick them up.  

If you feel the need to get involved, offer to chapperone the next get together the next time they get a day off from school.

Answer 4

I have to answer this. It would be in both the girl's and her mother's interest to know what she is doing. I know a lot of you are saying "I used to...". That was then, this is now. Especially, with this generation that has little value on anything anymore. It only takes one 'genius' idea to get the whole lot of them into mischief. Who's going to save her a$$ then? Back in the day, if you screwed up big, the cops got a hold of you and beat your a$$ then sent you to your parents. Then they would beat you a$$.

We're now in an age where there are predators everywhere. Parents are accountable for the safety of their children. Do you mean to tell me that a couple of teenagers can hold off men carrying guns while taking a young girl away for whatever reason? Did that parent know, for a fact, that her child was somewhere safe? She dropped her there. Now she gone. Who has the answer? The teen boys with .38 caliber holes in their heads?

For another, the mother trusted another parent to help watch her, not drop her off somewhere for her own personal convenience. What was the other adult doing that she couldn't be bothered with an 11 year old?

Can any of you answer all the questions that will be coming out of the crying eyes of the mother, if anything happened to her little girl? Anyone?

I don't mind kids going out and having fun. But, there has to be structure. "Where are you going? Who are you going with? Do they have cell phones? What will you be doing? What time are you coming home? Or, you will be home at this time."

Take charge of your children. Have the children take responsibility. Keep them safe.

Answer 5

Dont tell her mom, its really none of your concern.

Unless she's being a bad influence, running around with YOUR daughter,

then just butt out and leave it alone.

Answer 6

i say you just forget about it,

1. your not gonna gain anything by telling on her

2. this happened a while ago

3. it would be so pointless to get the poor girl in possible trouble

i mean unless she was possibly endangering herself, or others(s*x, drugs, steeling, etc.) then why tell?

its not like your lying to YOUR friend, and hey actually the girl would think that your pretty cool and would trust you with even more and important things, that her mom would actually really need to know, and the kids at school could think that your daughter has a really cool and nice mom, so all in all its a win win situation

no one gets hurt. no one gets in trouble. and no drama!

lol.

Answer 7

i would say that the reason shes

sneaking out is because her mom is strict. when parents shelter their children to extremes, it makes them rebel that much worse.

so i wouldnt tell, but id talk to her about it.

Answer 8

I think you should tell her mother. She's lying to her mom, and she's being really irresponsible. Imagine if the girl got kidnapped, and you knew that she was out without an adult. How would you feel? Something bad could happen to her, and if her mom doesn't want her out alone acting like an idiot and making a fool of herself, you should tell.

Answer 9

The adult side of me says you should alert her mom, because what if something bad were to happen?

THe other part of mre remembers doing the same thing because I had an over protective mom who would never let me go anywhere.

I guess in the end...   I wouldnt say anything, Unless I knew for sure that drugs, s*x, or something equally dangerous were involved.

Answer 10

If the situation were reversed, what would you want, no, expect your friend to do?

I would talk to the child's mother in private, confess not telling previously and why. You can't let your friends child expose herself to real danger to keep your child from being teased. Can you?