I cheated on my gf 2 years ago. I know if I tell her, she'll go. I don't want to lie to her, What can I do?

Question

We've been together for 4 years now, have a 5 month old baby girl and I've never been happier my whole life. But I cheated on my gf 2 years ago.

If I lose her, I lose everything I have ever wanted. Everything that we've done and our child,out life as we know it.

I am just kicking myself and I don't know what to do.

Should I tell her or not? Continue to tell her how much I love her and trust her while I'm the one who wasn't faithful.What do I do?

Answer 1

it was 2 years ago. if she hasn't found out know then i doubt she ever will. i know its probly hard to live with the guilt, but its better then a broken heart. hope it goes well<3

Answer 2

i think you should tell her i mean its better to hear it from you then anyone else. bc sooner or later the truth comes out n better late thn never!

Answer 3

If this was 2 years ago and you have been good since, don't tell her because it serves no purpose at all except to disrupt your home life with your girl and the baby.  What purpose is there?  Everyone makes mistakes and in a case like this it is better to bury this secret forever. I have seen on the Maury show when people tell secrets that are from the distant past are best left alone.  To relieve your guilt and harm your family life is not smart.  Look toward the now and make a great future with your family.  Instead of confessing, get her an engagement ring and ask her to marry you.  Make a life for the 3 of you!  If you want to wait to ask her to marry you put a nice ring on lay a way and say nothing until you are ready.  Be helpful and treat the mother of your child with the dignity and respect she deserves.  Brutal confessions will hurt your future chance for your baby to have 2 parents that love each other.  If you feel a need to confess talk to a priest.  You don't have to be really religious. It helps to pour your heart and soul of guilt to a priest because they wont tell your secret.   Beest wishes to you and family.

Answer 4

Just let it go...It's been 2 years...you've obviously moved on...it was a fling nothing more.  If you tell her now you are FINISHED!!  Her hormones are still all messed up from having the baby...believe me.  Forgive yourself and move on...don't think about it ever again and NEVER speak of it...also...NEVER speak to the girl you cheated on your gf with...no matter what, that would just mess you up more.  Do some praying as well...that will most certainly help you to forgive yourself and move on.  

Answer 5

No matter what you hear, Honesty isn't always the best way to go. Even if she forgives says she forgives you, in the back of her mind she will never trust you again, and once the trust in a relationship is gone the relationship is soon to follow. I don't usually recommend this but, put it in the back of your mind and try to convince yourself it never happened, and DONT EVER DO ANYTHING EVEN CLOSE TO THIS AGAIN!!!

Answer 6

You already lied ...done deal

Answer 7

Are you crazy? Forgive for that.  But you said you are happier now than you have ever been and you want to mess it us.  Why?

If she knows you had an affair, she would probably tell you to leave because she would not be able to trust you again.

If you love her and the baby, then don't tell her

because if you do, you will have destroyed three lives.  Just don't do it again and stay away from places and people that are not clean, healthy places to be in.

God luck!

Answer 8

Wow, I always say honesty is the best policy, but in this case, I would bite your tongue. Marry her, and then tell her.  

Answer 9

do not tell her.

i mean i know you want to be honest but

if you tell her then she will be gone and you will

never see your daughter again.

Answer 10

dont tell her who cares

Answer 11

i'd tell her. the truth is bound to come out sooner or later anyways.

if she really loves you, she'll get over it and you two will be okay.. so its kinda like a test of relationship too. that way, you really know what kind of person she is.. whether she is forgiving, or she doesnt love you as much as you think.  

Answer 12

Don't tell her! Just learn from your mistake and never do it again!

Answer 13

Your guilt is your punishment.  Deal with it.  To tell her would only hurt her and you would be not only a cheat, but a coward.  You want to tell her because you know it would make you feel better in the end.  Deal with your guilt like a real man.

Answer 14

you want to clear your conscience? well if you do you lose so keep it to yourself and be done with it wipe it out of your mind if you tell her she'd leave i would to. but you know you have learned a valuable less. so that is great just move on and be quiet that is something else you have to learn not all things to be told.

Answer 15

you already lied cant undo the past.. why do you want to tell her all of a sudden?i really never got why guys wait so long to say something sorry if it seems like I'm attacking you but i just wanted to know i've always wondered..

Answer 16

If it's eating you up inside, you should go ahead and tell her, but 2 yrs. have passed and you seem fine, if it was gonna come out it would've happened already, I've been in your situation and I left it alone.

I know how my partner would've reacted, only you know your gf and what her reaction will be, can you handle it ?  

Answer 17

How have you kept that a secret this long? sometimes skeletons don't remain in the closet.. just hope no one else tells her.

Answer 18

I wouldn't tell her. I mean what good will it do? Just keep it as a skeleton in your closet. Everyone has something they keep very private and if I were you I would not **** up a good thing, I would just leave it alone. I mean it was two years ago. Let it go babe, just leave it alone.

Answer 19

Well if she finds out from someone other than you, then there is absolutely NO chance of rectifying the situation.  At least if YOU tell her you can explain the circumstances and your feelings, so you have a shot at forgiveness.

Answer 20

I agree with the others there is no reason to tell her. You get to live with the guilt and telling her would relieve your conscious no doubt, but only put your relationship into crisis. I wonder after two years though you now want to mention it and self-sabotage your happiness.

Answer 21

It depends, If the person you cheated on her with knows her or knows someone that knows her i would consider telling your GF, but also it has been 2years if they were gonna tell n e one they would have already.

If the person you cheated on her with does not know her or anyone that knows her, then your in the clear my friend, dont s***w up what good you got now.

Answer 22

dont tell her forget about it start new fresh day son

if you tell ur out of that house erm if u own the house shes out of the house with her baby (mothers keep it the kids) so dont tell act normal dude forget it about it i've been cheated on my girl for 3weeks having s*x behind her so u know forgot about that aswell

Answer 23

I don't think you should tell her now, it will just cause problems. Leave it alone.

Answer 24

yeah, it has been two years, forgive your self.. the guilt will distroy your happiness, so you have to learn to forgive yourself, your happy, shes happy you have a bueatiful baby... no need in telling now.

Answer 25

If you lv her wouldn't you tell her anything? Do you tell eachother everying? The good and the bad? By not telling her it seems as if you are lying. And sooner or later she might find out and than she'll be even more pissed. Yes, she will be pissed. I would be. But if you love her so much shouldn't you tell her? She might be angry. She might scream and shout. She might leave. But isn't it better than to be keeping this a lie for the rest of your life? And having it just bug the c**p out of you until you die? And maybe even after that? You have to tell her. By telling her you are expressing your love for her. Tell her the truth. Tell her how much she means to you. Tell her you regret it with everything you own. Tell her you'd do anything for her. And tell her why you are telling her. And tell her that she has the right to say anything she wants to and do anything she wants to after she hears it. And don't fight with her. Fighting will only make things worse. And if she's really mad you might be tempted to start shouting your side of the arguement. Just listen. Listen to what she says and how she feels. Tell her that you fully understand her anger. And that she has everyright to feel that way. But tell her the truth. Because it's the right thing to do. And if you love her as much as you do than you'd tell her. And if your bond is strong than you might be able to work things out. But tell her................

Do you see how it has been haunting you for TWO yrs already. It will haunt you for the rest of your life if you keep it a secret. Yes it's in the past. But she deserves to know. If you truly love her you shouldn't lie. And this is a lie that will haunt you forever unless you love and respect her enough to admit your mistake...............

Answer 26

Do not tell her. You have accepted that you did wrong and have recognized your mistake, move on and live the rest of your relationship in happiness. Do not go and destroy what you have over one mistake.

Answer 27

why are you suddenly feeling guilty about this now? it happened 2 years ago... TWO YEARS AGO... if you tell her you are only going to ease your own guilty conscience and it will destroy her. you will loose everything..

honestly, WHY are you worried about this NOW ??

Answer 28

Keep your F******N mouth shut.  Everyone makes mistakes but you don't have to go around advertising.  If you feel guilty go to church.  I hear the Catholic church specializes in such things.  Do you want to bring sorrow to your family now for something that happened in the past.  Deal with your guilt and move on.  

The flip side is to tell her.  She may forgive you, but then again she may not.  Are you prepared for the consequences, separation, child support, her maybe revenge cheating on you.  What if she says that's ok I was banging another guy too. Would you be so forgiving?  

If you are a gambling man do what you need to do, but sounds like you got a good thing going.  

Answer 29

tell her exactly what you told us in your description of the question. she knows your sorry and it was a stupid decision. if she finds out from someone else she will definately be pissed, so tell her.  

Answer 30

NO dont tell her, you are an *** but let it go and NEVER do it again or it will eat you up inside. The only reason you now would tell her is to end your guilt, but it wont end it you will feel guilty for hurting her so let it go.

Answer 31

DON'T ASK; DON'T TELL