I cheated on my husband and now I'm pregnant?

Question

My husband got a vasectomy 20 years ago. We have been together for three years and never used any form of protection. Well, I cheated on him once. Also, I don't think he ejaculated...at least not as far I could tell. Yes, I know I'm horrible. I have an awful marriage and well never mind.....My question is should I tell my husband I'm pregnant? I've been planning on getting a divorce for some time now, much before the cheating occurred. Or, should I just get the divorce and not tell him? Is there anyway in h**l it could be my husband's? I don't know what to do.

Answer 1

well done you deserve it, hope he leaves you now

if you know that you should not have cheated but you did

so if you did not get pregnant it would have been ok then???  

Answer 2

You need to file for divorce and try to raise this child in a positive environment, free of cheating and unhappiness.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Honesty is the best policy. He is going to find out sooner or later

Answer 4

all you can do is tell him what happened. that should have never happened

Answer 5

Just get the divorce and leave it at that.  No way it could be his...

Answer 6

He's not stupid, he's going to figure out that you're pregnant,  he's had a vasectomy. It's possible that the baby could be your husband's but not very likely. You should know that it doesn't take ejaculation to become pregnant, pre ejactulate is able to get you pregnant as well  You're not going to be able to tell who the father is until the baby's born and you have a dna test. If your marriage has been that bad, the divorce should have been the first thing you did, not another guy.

Answer 7

i think you should be happy.. and your cleary not happy with your husband. Life is TOO short to stay in a bad marriage. If your marraige is broken you should begin moving on sooner rather than later. You should tell the father of your child that your pregnant, but you shouldnt tell your husband. Why make it worse??

Answer 8

I would just get the divorce....he will find out that you are pregnant later.   You want it to be quick and simple...do not tell him....he may make your life a living h**l if he find out.  And to make sure it is not his have a test as soon as you can.  I really do not think that it is....

Answer 9

divorce. you arent happy.

Answer 10

Don't combine the situations.  Get an abortion and deal with your marriage separately.

Answer 11

I think you should tell him if you plan to have the baby.  You should tell him who you think the father is too.  The chances that it is your husbands are very slim.

Assuming you live in the U.S., Canada, the U.K. or Australia, legally the child will be your husbands responsibility whether or not it is really his.  Any child from a marriage under English Common Law is assumed to be the husbands and he will have to pay child support.  If you are OK with sticking him with the responsibility then don't tell him about the other man.  Otherwise you will probably need get the other man to assume paternity and financial responsibility or sue him.

Another twist to this law thing is that your current husband might be able to claim custody of this child if he wants too.

Answer 12

If you had unprotected s*x for 20 years and no pregnancy it is very unlikely that the baby could be your husbands therefore there is no need to tell your husband Just start divorce proceedings  No need to give him any ammo during the divorce

Answer 13

It does not matter who the father is if you are planning to divorce your husband anyway.

No need to tell him.  Just file and get a divorce before you start showing.

Answer 14

care for your child.. you seemed that you don't.. even if your baby's gender is not discovered don't call him  "it" Thats mean... "It", is to be used only for things.

Answer 15

Well... I think you should show him the ultrasound and the divorce papers at the same time. If he's made your life this horrible he should at least feel guilty about it. Show him wat he is missing out on. Tell him the child isn't his so you can disconnect him from your life permanently. Have you ever considered rekindling the relationship with the baby daddy. WHatever you do don't get an abortion. This child should not have to suffer all because of your mistakes and unhappiness.  

Answer 16

FIRST HOW MANY MONTHS ARE YOU? AND I REALLY DONT THINK YOU SHOULD TELL HIM. JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE AND GO FORWARD WITH THE DIVORCE

Answer 17

Do you love your husband? What am I saying? NO, BUt I would tell him I want a divorce, if you're not far along where you don't show tell him today, start the divorce process, so you could fair better in the divorce. I wouldn/t tell him. Hurry up though, yo dont have lots of time my divorce took 5 months, you'rs could be shorter or longer, depending on what you agree or don't agree on.

Answer 18

Many of the problems you may be facing could be just the tip of the iceberg

on what is really happening in your marriage. I dont mean to scare you but

many problems when they either first show up or if they keep reoccurring

could be just whats showing from a larger problem that either you or your

spouse cannot even see. One of the only things you can do to help is to talk

honestly and openly with each other in the marriage. If things become more

serious more serious options need to be looked at as possibilities. I have a

blog that has more information on some of what I've been writing about. If

you feel like checking it out I would completly suggest it.

http://howtogetmyexback1.blogspot.com/

Love is a choice that is made everyday when you wake up and every night when

you go to sleep. Some days you may not feel the original feeling but love

isnt a feeling or an emotion. Its an action a verb. Falling out of love may

just mean you need to spice things up a little or that you were never in

love in the first place. Don't just get out of a marriage just because you

don't think you like the person anymore.

Answer 19

Wow how old are you? just curious. Anyways I doubt its his kid but that is besides the point if you are so unhappy you should leave him and raise the child in a happy enviroment, it does not sound like your marriage would be healthy for a child. File for a divorce as soon as possible and move on with your life.

Good Luck

Answer 20

I can't answer your question about telling your husband or not.  There are so many variables to consider, all filled with pros and cons about telling him of your pregnancy.  As far are there being a chance it is your husband's, yes, there is a possibility.  Vasectomies fail.  My husband had one and 7 years later I was pregnant with our third son.  Since my unexpected pregnancy I have heard many stories much like mine.

Answer 21

NO I DONT THINK ITS HIS JUST DEVORCE HIM!  

Answer 22

you should tell him if he is the dad and then decide what to do together  

Answer 23

It's not very likely that it's his, but I suppose a very, very slim chance still exists.

Unless your husband signs every paper and you never see him again, your divorce is going to take longer than 9 months.  He'll find out eventually.

Answer 24

if you are getting a divorce, what business is it of his AT ALL???? don't bothher telling him!!

Answer 25

I'm pretty sure he'll find out your pregnant.  Divorces take a long time and he is going to notice the baby weight well unless you plan on having an abortion.  Then there is no reason to tell anyone

Answer 26

you girls are amazing, what if it was his? you would stay and be unhappy? for what? so you can keep on cheating on him? unbelievable. get a divorce if you think you can never be happy with him. and he needs to know you cheated on him, maybe he should divorce your selfish a$$ first.

Answer 27

well it is something that u just cannot hide hun, and if u r planning on divorcing him anyway, then it sure won't matter if u told him or not!, usually when a man has a vasectomy, their is no way that the child could be his, so its totally up to you