I dOnnO if anyOne went thrOugh this...reply ASAP?

Question

Here is the situation..

Met a guy X 4 years back. Told him that i was interested in him and he said he was not interested. I moved on... and in course of time i met another guy Y. We have been going around since 3 and half years now.

Though i was in touch with X as a good friend. I realised time to time that i could not get over him. Since I was in a dedicated relationship with Y I never gave fuel to this kind of thoughts about X. Meanwhile X even had a relationship with another girl for a year and half and I was completely happy about it. Later on they broke up. He is been single since one year. And we still remained as good friends.

For the past 8 months ..me and my boy friend had major issues for which i was even ready to end the relationship. X was never the reason for those issues. It was our personal relationship issues. For the past one month... I started feeling for X even more strongly and this time he responded back in the same way. He did know about my relationship with Y . Since I did not want to stay with Y anymore ..I went around with X and we did share intimate bond in the last one month.

A week back we three had a talk together... me and Y decided to end up. X is ready to have new relationship with me. Now here comes the issue....

I truly loved Y and was dedicated to him in 3 and half years relationship. Since things not working out between us. I felt like endin up with him. After the fights with Y i started strongly feeling for X. But Y is also very important in my life just like my mom and dad. Though we had bitter times he still is very important in my life. Even feel like getting back to Y in the future.

Inspite of what all happened (including physical thing with X)..Y still loves me a lot and needs me to the core and he is ready to accept me back in his life. X says he loves me but i dont see in his actions and he says he needs time to have trust and promises that our relationship would be very good. Deep in my heart tho i feel for X and want to give a try with him.... I want to get back to Y even more. I have been askin Y some time regarding this. All the 3 and half years i have been very dedicated to Y and this time if i were to get back to him...i want to do with more dedication and no thoughts abt X.

i dont feel the security with X now.. and my conscience is not allowing me to get back to Y immediately... its a horrible situation.. wat am i supposed to do... for now i am not goin around wit either of the guys.. wanna take time and decide... but wat to decide... one is love (X) n and another is my true soul mate (Y).. whom to choose..??? I'm in DILEMMA

Answer 1

go for Y..

X is just a huge crush you had when you were young, you always have fantasies about your crushes and they will always have a special place in your heart.

Y is your soulmate, you know you love him and you know you should be with him.. so dont let X hold you back.

You might be attracted to him, but from what your saying i think its just physical attraction and the attraction is JUST attraction no love.

But with Y you seem to have something else, a bond, a love. He is your soul mate... stay with him, you know you love him and he is definately the one for you.

Hope i helped hun x

Answer 2

u dont deserve either x or y...u r too bad for y and too good for x..find 'z'

how did u even cheated y?i mean 'y did u cheat'?

leave ' y' alone..he deserves a better person..

Answer 3

i dunno what ur upto..y dont u take some time off both the guys n think what u wanna do...sometimes its X n then its Y...r u sure that once u get back with Y ull still not be thinking of X n next time around if u have a fight with Y u wont run crying on X's shoulder..thats if he is available...

i feel rather than running around in circles..n choosing the RIGHT guy think about what u want...which guy will u be happy with...who wud stay with u for life n be forgiving of ur mistakes...once u decide...stick with the guy..n plz disassociate with the other..no more friendship with the other guy be it Mr X or Mr Y....otherwise ull keep switching them off n on cause u feel for both of them..

gud luc hope ull be sensible in taking ur decision...

Answer 4

I read and I understand well as you write so honestly.The only thing I see is you should make your life with Y as you say he is your soul mate.I think X sounds attractive, but something is missing there, If X really loved you back then he should have sought after you.Being physical with X can be just a forgotten part of the past if you let it be.It is good to be alone for a short while to straighten out your thoughts.But you should really make a decision for one or the other.You will never move on to any one relationship if you try to have both. There is beauty in both of these friendships, but whomever you choose, be fair and put the other in the past part of your life.That's if you want a lifetime with the one you really love.You say Y really wants you back and he is your soulmate.You say X loves you but doesnt show it in his actions. The answer is clear to me.....Y is the one who really loves you.He seems so sure. Good luck, I wish you every happiness.Your life is in a beautiful stage, and dont be to hard on yourself,enjoy what you have.

Answer 5

First, I want to say you are doing the right thing by not going with either of the guys for right now, it just wouldn't be fair to anyone if you were.  You think you love X but you seem to know in your heart that Y is your soul mate, right?  I was once in a sinilar situation.  I was dating this guy A and started having stong feelings for this other guy, B.  A and I started having problem and he broke up with me.  I thought my heart would never heal, I thouhgt A was my soul mate.  But I started dating B, and two weeks later A wanted me back saying he wanted to start a family with me.  At the time I was only physically attracted to B and considered leaving him to go back to A.  In the end I stayed dating B because I wanted to give our relationship a chance to see if it went anywhere.  Six and a half years later we are happily married with three children and I never regret not going back to A, that would have been a big mistake in my case.  Your situation could be very different than mine, of course.  I'd say listen to your heart, but you seem confused about what your heart is telling you.  I can't give you the answer, should you be with X or should you be with Y.  But I will tell you this, you know you can't have both.  I'm sure you feel dedicated to Y because of the past three and a half years being with him, but as long as you are not married, there is nothing binding you to him.  If you want to see where the relationship with X goes, than do that.  But if you have any doubts at all, stay with Y.  What I mean is if you feel like you will never have another chance with Y and that is who you feel you love, be with him.  I decided to stay with B because I knew if I didn't give our relationship a chance, I would never get another chance and at the time I wanted more than anything to give it a chance even though I thought I still loved A.  What ever you decide, put your whole heart into it and don't look back.

Good luck.

Answer 6

First of all u did a mistake in going back to X, when u r still in relationship with Y.   Small fights, misunderstandings will take place in relationships, but that does not mean to u have to be dishonest to the person u lived with for more than three years.  This is not a good trend.  Does it mean that every time u fight with your love one, u will go to another person to share intimacy? Anyway forget X, who is exploiting u and get back to the arms of Y, whom i think is truly in love with u. take care.

Answer 7

You are a flirt and you are cheating yourself.

Answer 8

I would stay with Y did you ever consider that you blew the problems with Y out of proportion because you had feelings for X so it made it easy to do that. When we keep someone in the wings it makes it easy to pick apart the person we are with. You need to get rid of X he had his chance and even now he really isn't committing to you. X is just preyed on you at a vulnerable time. Y has always been there and people who are together a lot and long period of time have disagreements. Be smart know what true and lasting and what is not.

Answer 9

I had to read your long question to give you a short answer, and my short answer is to go with (Y)!!!

Your heart is with (y), (x), will understand.

Simple as that.