I decided I want a divorce.... now what do I do?

Question

My husband has cheated and cheated and denies it. I'm tired of waiting for him to change or even admit he's done wrong. It's been a long time. I'm lonely. I don't want to live the rest of my life either lonely knowing he's cheating or lonely and wondering.

The other night he turned s*x down with me and said he was too tired, but I left an audio recorder on while I was sleeping and heard him s******g someone else in my house....AGAIN!!!

I actually saw him with someone else before and forgave him

He says I'm hearing voices, I really don't even want anymore proof. I'm done. We have kids and I don't know what the next step is or how best to protect myself?

Answer 1

If it were me I would sit down with him and work out a deal.  The less you fight in court the more money you two will have to divide between the two of you.  If you work it out in court, the lawyers will suck it all up.

Since you have kids I would go to court saying you want to share them 50/50.  That way he is not off scott free being a daddy just when he wants to.  The little child support you are giving up will more than be made up in  him having to actually be in their lives.

Remember it is you divorcing him, the kids are not getting a divorce from their father.

Good Luck

Answer 2

get a family lawyer.

Answer 3

Pack up everything pack up all your kid's stuff close the bank account and get out stay with a family member from YOUR SIDE and stay there until you can get a new place. And i'm so sorry about this

Answer 4

There are numerous books available on the subject, many localized to particular states, and sometimes even particular counties (such as Santa Clara, CA).  Start by reading one of these.  Usually, one seeks a lawyer, but this is not always necessary; especially if there aren't significant issues in division of assets, you may be able to proceed "pro per."  Go to the courthouse and inquire as to appropriate forms, and get copies.  Then decide if you need a lawyer, and if so, find one.

Answer 5

go to the city or county hall and ask for a free attorney

Answer 6

cheating is one thing, but cheating in the same house that you live with your spouse in is VERY wrong of him and I'd divorce his ***.  I'm sorry, but you have given him enough chances.  Now its time to TAKE YOUR LIFE BACK and LIVE.  Live happily and Live withOUT him.  Find someone else.  You won't have much trouble.  There are plenty of good men out there waiting for a good women.  

Answer 7

either move out and close the bank account or kick him out and close out the bank account

Answer 8

Get your important documents together: mortgage, bank accounts, credit card accounts, bills, social security info, etc. Get bags together with your clothes, kids clothes, toiletries, etc. Open new bank accounts in your name only. Then get all that and leave. Go to a friend or relative's house that will let you stay for a while or your parents house.

Then contact a good attorney. SAVE the audio recordings. This will help you later in the custody battle. Also visit a family therapist to get some validation and self worth back.

He was SO wrong and I hope you get him for all he's worth.

((((hugs))))