I did not go to the tables to say hello to the guests at my wedding.

Question

it was not so organized so i did not get a chance to go to all the tables with my husband to say hello to everyone and my mother is furious. although im sure almost everyone came up to us anyway. how do i make her get over it? i cant go back now. do u think the guests were really upset??? thanks

Answer 1

no of course

it is your day and they know this very good

try to put your self in their place and you will find that iam right and they weren't upset

Answer 2

The whole point of doing a receiving line is so that you do not have to go to each table at the reception and you can enjoy yourself.

So tell your mother to get over it already, you did a receiving line and that is sufficient!

Answer 3

make a joke about it on the thank you card like thanks for coming to my wedding and if i didn't say hello then well, hello then or something like that

Answer 4

At weddings I have attended in the past, the couple didn't go around to the tables to greet the guests and no one was upset by that. However most did have some type of receiving line at the end of the ceremony. You can't go back and change anything at this point, so don't stress over it.  

Answer 5

honey don't worry about it i did the same thing at my wedding and people understand that's it ur day and ur not going to be paying attention to anyone else but ur husband...people at my wedding were asking me if i remember certain things happening and i don't cause i was to focused on my new husband and that all u should be focused on and people will understand that....and for ur mom just tell her that for 1 it is to late to change it now and for 2 it was ur and ur husbands wedding day not u and all of ur guest wedding day...i hope this helps u girl

Answer 6

I had the same problem but everyone understood and some said I was impressed  I got to talk to you at all. It is just a crazy day there is nothing you can do. We ate then my husband wanted to wait for the cake and I was like lets go. SO we only made two tables. My parents and his parents. I feel bad but?? They called us up to do the bouqet toss and garter.

Answer 7

If you had a reception line, then it doesn't matter.

If you didn't receive people, then, I dunno.  I don't think I've been to a wedding where the bride and groom went to every table.  But they had reception lines or they greeted people somehow.  I don't think it matters that much, though.

Make sure you send thank-you cards...

Answer 8

Sorry, but I disagree with most of the other respondents.  Yes it was a big day for you, but you had ONE job to do at the reception and you allowed yourself to get so caught up in the fun and excitement that you didn't live up to the social expectation and etiquette called for.  Sorry, but I'm with your mother on this one.

Answer 9

I have to say I agree with your mother on this one.  while it is your day as everyone else says....if you werent going to make an effort to see all your guests and thank them for coming then what was the point of inviting anyone?  I only had a small wedding, but I made sure I had time for everyone, even if it meant cutting conversations short with others so I could get around.  thats just what you do.  however...its done and over and there is nothing you can do about it now.  I would just tell your mother you made sure to write really nice thank you cards to everyone and your sorry you didnt get around, but its too late to change anything.  and yes...as a guest I would be bothered by it as I am attending the wedding to show my love and support for you and you couldnt even make an effort to come and say hello.

Answer 10

You can't make her get over it. She has to do it on her own. I've seen receptions where the bride and groom could barely get away from the head table to do the bouquet/garter toss because so many people swarmed them.

You are exactly right that you can't go back now - nor should you worry about it. If it's really causing you distress, why not write little notes to your guests thanking them for sharing your special day? There's no requirement to do this - it's only if you're feeling really bad and can't live with yourself. Don't worry about your mother. She'll get over it.

Answer 11

All though you should have greeted every guest (not necessarily at tables) you can't change things now.  Just give your mom some time to get over it.

And yes, if I were one of your guests and you didn't at least say hello to me all day, I'd be pissed.

Answer 12

what do you mean penalized?

Answer 13

You can not take back what has already taken place. When you do write your Thank You notes  make sure you include a special note about how you appreciate everyone being there in your big day. The only thing that will help with your mother is to give it time.  Do you have a picture of you with all of your guests? That way you could show your mother you spoke to all of your guests? Good Luck.

Answer 14

I don't think it is a big deal, I didn't have time either.  Just make sure you mail them a thank you note and maybe to make her happy, say you are sorry you didn't get a chance to stop by and talk to them.

Answer 15

No problem.... Your wedding is about you, not about everyone else.  If they want to say hello they can come up to you.  

Answer 16

I didn't go to the tables at my wedding either.  We had a very small wedding and I'm sure I spoke to everyone because they came up to us.  However, I can imagine that with an even bigger wedding, it would be even harder to speak to everyone at their tables.  After the ceremony, there is so much to do that you don't really think about that.  As long as you send everyone thank you notes for the gifts, I don't see why it is a problem at all.  If I was a guest at someone's wedding, that would not upset me.  I probably wouldn't even think about it.  I don't think there is any rule of etiquette about that, at least not that I have ever heard. Sounds like your mom is being a bit picky to be furious about that.

Answer 17

tell her it was your day, and you had fun...that day is about you and your husband...it is a celebration of your marriage, not a place for you to entertain. it is supposed to be fun!

Answer 18

Well, I'm going against most of the other posters and saying that it should have been a priority to greet and thank your guests personally.  I know weddings are busy, chaotic and fun....BUT, guests come to celebrate your marriage (some from different towns and states) and they bring you gifts...the least we can do as brides (and grooms) is take the time out to personally chat with each and every table for at least a few minutes.  

There's nothing you can do now and your Mom will have to just forgive and forget because there is nothing you can do about it now!  

Answer 19

She will never get over the fact that you are rude and obnoxious for that.  Yes, the guests were definitely wondering where the heck you were.

Answer 20

I'm sure that on your wedding day there was somuch going on everywhere that you did not have time to get to every able to say thank you. Maybe you can send out some thhank you cards to people ....that's still telling them that you appreciate them being there on you special day .

Answer 21

She will get over it. My fiance and I aren't wasting our time doing that since it's only a 5 hour reception we're not spending 2-3 hours with hello's to every guest (100-120 people attending!)

We're just going up front with a mic at the beginning of the reception and thanking everyone for coming and sharing our special day with us.

Answer 22

After the wedding did you stand in line and greet each person before the reception? That is all you needed to do. Not every bride and groom can greet every table. Its YOUR day and the guest know that and I don't think any one's feelings were hurt. Your wedding wasn't about your guest it was about you so relax. No one is worried!

Answer 23

if you have a huge wedding keeping oversigth is imposible, its so much going on and all you just cant expect everything to go to a toe

its a party not army line up, its not ment to be on the inch lines and strict order, its ment to be fun relaxed and yeah it will be caotic

there is no point to fuzzing over this now as you said its in the past, your mom need to relax

with one fam in europe and one in america there is no way me and my bf ever can get a wedding with all family in it, she should be happy you had a wedding to invite people too, and not just elope

hosting a party with food and all is not a by law requirement, its a favor and gift given where you Allow others to be part of your day...its a privilege to be invited to a wedding

and if you had reciving line and whatnot your fine, yeah people are doing you a favor through the gift, but this they get a thank you card for. You want to personaly congratulate the couple then you have to seek them out (not expect them to keep track of everyone)

i'd say its actualy descent curtesy to try and reach the couple before leaving (if there aint a formal end to things), to thank them for geting to come, once again congratulate and excuse yourself for having to leave so early (if you leave before most people break it up) as well say good bye. And if unable to do so, to pass such a message on to them through one of their parents. At least thats how things work where i grew up, you didnt do them a favor, you were privileged enough to be invited to get to share their day with them.

Answer 24

I am sure the ones you missed realize that you were caught up in the day, and busy with trying to get to everyone.  What you could do, is when you send your thank you cards, mention (if you remember stopping to say hello) that you loved seeing them and wish you could have chatted longer. Or, if you know you missed them...mention that you are so happy they came and say that everytime you were going to go say hello someone pulled you in the opposite direction and that you wish you made it over before they left...so its a little white lie....but who has to know, and then if there is any concern about what they might think, it will at least clarify that you know they were there and was making an attempt to try and see them and thank them for coming.

Answer 25

just give her sometimes shell get over it an explain how you didn't have the chance to do say hi to them all.  i don't think your guests would be upset over that.

Answer 26

my wedding etiquette book says that the bride and groom should EITHER have a receiving line OR go up to all the tables. you don't have to do both. it's acceptable to just do one. so since you had a receiving line, you didn't need to go to all the tables.

i know what you mean - it's really hard to get to all the tables! we tried to do that for my wedding and didn't get to all of them, but like you said most people come up to the bride and groom anyway.  your mom will just have to get over it. it has nothing to do with her.

Answer 27

You did a receiving line, so you met and said hi to everyone.

You were so busy at your reception, I'm sure it went by in a blur like mine did.  There were things I forgot I wanted to do, yet I still had fun, and noone took anything personally.

Your mom has the issue, NOT YOU.  Let it fall off your shoulders.  Her being pissed about something that went by in a blur for you is her problem, not yours.

Answer 28

its your wedding! i think they understand that your so overwhelmed and you were so excited.