I do believe that my relationship with my boyfriends mom is ruined?

Question

I've been going out with my boyfriend (August) for one year as of today. We're both going into our sophomore year and our relationship is still very strong. Last year I was going through a rough time and convinced him to have intercourse with me. We used full protection and it was only once, I now regret it. His mom found out and we've been banned from seeing each other since school got out on Friday the 13th. August and I now see counselors at the same facility and both counselors think that we should get both families together, order some pizza and talk everything out and reach a conclusion. His mom refuses to allow that to happen. His father didn't really care about what happened, both my parents are fairly mellow about the situation. It's so frustrating because I used to get along so well with his mom. Neither August or I understood the full extent of why what we did was wrong. I understand now, from talking to my counselor, and he probably does to, like I would know :( I just need to know if their's any hope for us? I've talked to him about having him talk to his mom, but he's very shy and I don't think he will go through with that. Help? I've been so stressed this Summer, I haven't had a period since before school got out (not pregnant though).

Answer 1

What happened between the two of you has happened. It's neither right nor wrong, moral or immoral. You were going through a phase, you needed s*x badly, you had it with your bf. The fact that you had to "convince" him shows his focus was elsewhere.

I think he was ridden with guilt and confessed as much to his mother, who feels that sexual distraction might impede his studies. It usually does, so she can't really be blamed for protecting her son's interest. Perhaps her own s*x life at school/college proved to be a hindrance to her own academic achievements, and she doesn't want history to repeat itself a generation later.

It appears he's had a strict upbringing, and does not have an open relationship with his parents. And there are certain topics he simply cannot bring himself to talk over with his mother. You need to understand this too.

I well understand your strong urge for s*x at your age, and if you must have it you will. But this person is not ready for a sexual relationship yet, and if you persuade him to shed his inhibitions and go further, he will have psychological issues which will ruin his future.

My advice? If you like him so much, you might need to adjust to a platonic (i.e. non-sexual) relationship for some time to come. You won't find it difficult if you set your mind to it. If, however, you are keen on a sexual relationship, I think you should leave him alone and look elsewhere.

Parting thought. There's no point in stressing yourself so much that you miss your periods for long stretches. You're only ruining your own health (physical and psychological).

WT