I do not interfear, but enough is enough!?

Question

My son is 35, his girlfriend is 28 (going on 12), she over bearing,pushy, rude, and so CHILDESS.

She trys to control his every move, and action (she's like her MOM)

Sunday cookout at our house, she was on the phone just bashing/trashing him, to someone

I am a very patient man,non-confrontational, but I'd heard enough, and told her, "Quit it, quit it now! That's my son you're talking about!" And I've heard enough!

She told him, (while teary eyed), he looked at me and her, and told her she needed to go home!

They had an extreme argument later, and she blames me!

Was I wrong to say something, or should I just let her continue bashing him!

Answer 1

She is childish which is why she'd blame you.  As hard as this is, you really can't force them to break up or much else.  Your son needs to make decisions on his own as he is an adult now.  He either enjoys the verbal abuse she gives him, or she has manipulated him into thinking that he deserves this.  He needs to handle this himself.  If he comes to you, help him, but you can't force it

Answer 2

I'm sorry but the only thing or person that can change the situation is your son. He needs to stand up for himself. I know I have two brothers in the same type of woman situation. I wish my father would have a straight talk with them and suggest something manly to do in this situation because it's even embarrassing the way they get treated. Some woman are too much, they want to manipulate the men that can't control them. They need to be taught a lesson by their man. I hope you have the courage to speak with your son about his relationship with his wife and how it is not acceptable treatment.

Answer 3

Good for you! Normally I would say to stay out of their relationship. But this woman was trashing your child right in front of you! I'll bet she won't do that again (she will, just not in front of you). Your son obviously understands, because he took her out of there. Hopefully, he'll get a clue soon and ditch her. Until then, as long as she acts civil, put up with her.

And you tell her that his anger isn't your fault, it's hers - you didn't force her to say those things.

Answer 4

I'm betting that your tone was over done.

Quit it quit it right now is very confrontational and controlling.

you might have been able to communicate that same idea a little more gently with some thing like

"I don't appreciate when you talk about my son that way and would prefer that  you either discontinue talking about him in that manner or leave my property."

Sometimes when we try to hold back and then feel pushed to a limit we say things in a manner that does more harm than if we spoke gently sooner.

Answer 5

You were not wrong at all.  I would have kicked her off my property!  He is your son, after all.

Answer 6

of course u are not wrong..

if ur son is hearing all that **** of hers then he should change it.. or else she will not make ur sons life good any time..

Answer 7

You did the right thing, i have a son who is married now and dealt with the controlling issues my daughter in law did before they got married, I also set her straight, I also set my son straight in letting her do that to him. He didn't want to make her angry, Tuff SH**! defend yourself. He is in the Army and while she was here, his buddies stopped by his place to see if he wanted to go out while he was on the phone with her, she got angry because his buddies brought their girlfriends with them. she had to of her male friends over to watch a movie that same night while on the phone with my son and he said why is it ok for you to have male friends over and my buddies cant come into my barrack with their girl friends? she said it was different. Bull c**p! she barely was talking to him on the phone, she was to busy laughing with the 2 men that were over. He did straighten her out, her parents laid into her also, They absolutely adore my son.

Answer 8

Dear sir

No no no! U weren't wrong at all! That girl's rude and haughty, and she ought to pay for her behavior. Talk to your son, and tell him the truth. Try and get some sort of evidence, and be very careful while talking to him. He must be very disturbed, so try nd comfort him. I'm sure he'll understand who's right and who's not.