I do not know who I am?

Question

I do not know my self? Growing up my mom was an over protective parent (never let me go out) I was always bullied at school. My parents were uneducated and poor. I was never thought any thing about life or had the chance too. I do not know nothing about any thing. All that changed when I turned 19. I decided I was an adult and took things into my own hands. I went out in search of new friends and a LIFE! Since I had Knowledge about any thing it was very hard for me to start up or hold a conversation with any one. I am 21 and nothing much changed. I have a couple of friends but I have no idea how to interact with them.At work people do not talk to me because I can never find common ground with them. I do not know who I am nore what I like to do or who I want to be or what I want to be. I am so lost in life. A lost soul if I can descirbe it. I need help finding my self. Please

Answer 1

Slim, I might sound like a nagging old lady but I came out of where you are now. My folks didn't think much of learning new things, they just worked slept and kept to themselves. I didn't learn how to socialize until I was older either.

What helped me is going to college. I met friends there and we all had things in common, even if it was just test anxiety. The more you learn, the more you will have to talk about.

I found common ground with a lot of people there.

I got scared and did not start until I was almost 30 because I felt so much like what you described.

I was afraid that I didn't know enough to go to college but they start you were you are at and catch you up anywhere you need refresher courses.

The only real roadblock I had in front of me was fear of the unknown. I learned that fear from my parents.

I really hope you look into going to school, it is so much more than just getting a degree. College is a place where you learn who you are and what you want. Unless you know your options, how can you know what you want to be.

The other thing I learned there is I am as smart as the next guy/gal. I needed to challenge myself and do something I thought was beyond me to really know that about myself.

You know what else helps, if you just take your folks at face value, realize they are who they are and you can't change them.

Maybe they were scared of life and still are but you are an adult now and you can choose to break free.

Answer 2

hey darlin - i know what you're going through.  i had the over-protective mum,  was a total nerd/weirdo, couldn't hold a conversation to save my life.  i know you probably don't want to hear this right now, but - you're only 21, things will get better!  i'm about to hit 30, and i just barely feel like an adult.  but i am definitely not the same person that i was at 21.  and i am so much happier than i was at 21.  do you live in a small town?  get the h**l out.  move to a big city.  you may be overwhelmed at first, but it will be great in the long run.

Answer 3

When you have $5 or $10 dollars, go into a Hobby store, and find something that interests you to do.   Get busy with that to learn something new.  As you learn more about it or have questions, ask

people you work with, or ones you see each day in your neighborhood.

This is a way to grow your interests, and it is also a way to develop your ability to speak with other people.

It doesn't have to be a hobby where you make things, it can be photography, bird watching, bike riding, baseball or football - whether you play it or watch it, hiking with someone each week for an hour or more on your day off.........this is an excellent way to get to know the other person, and for them to get to know you.

Some people enjoy reading on many subjects to learn, and find other people at the library that they converse with.   Other people enjoy music, singing or playing an instrument, or they will follow a particular local band to their performances just to listen and talk.

There are many possibilities open to you, and many of those are free.  Work on ways you can learn and practice what you have learned, just a little more each week.   You can become the person you want to be!

Answer 4

you need to take a break.  Travel or go somewhere for a while, relax and it will all come to you.  Go somewhere where noone knows you, be who you want to be without fear of consequence gradually you will get your confidence back and you can do what you want to do

Answer 5

you know blaming your family back ground is never enough excuse to leading a unhappy lifestyle, have you ask yourself  have you done enough during the years of independence you took upon yourself? well dont, coz seriously it doesnt work that way, how about leading a nice close relationship at home first settle things w/ a family member?? spill anything out to them because you cant do this with friends, they'd either be glad you they werent you or not care at all what your problems are, me, im just here for the points but your family is tied knocked up on your back. After settling things, go out w/ this friends, find a girl friend if you want. Wait for things.

Answer 6

Man, you need to turn your empty life over to God and let Him be your guide and motivator. He will fill you with a wonderous peace and enable you to lead a positive and fulfilled life, beneficial to all those around you.

"What does it profit a man to gain the world and lose his soul?"

Jesus said "I am the Way, the Truth, the Life. No man comes to the Father except by Me."

Wish you the best.

Answer 7

You are whatever you decide to be. Freedom to choose! I am sorry you feel lost. I think you can choose your own destiny and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

You are articulate and intelligent, a real thinker. This will help you.

You are just a little inexperienced socially, but you will get more confident as time goes on. Life will get easier. Just make your life the way you want it to be...design it. Good luck to you. I hope you are soon feeling better and in charge of your own fate.  

Answer 8

me too

Answer 9

just talk 2 ppl

im wit u my brotha

answer mine

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 10

Finding yourself, as they say, takes time. I wouldn't worry about trying to fit in with a particular crowd, or even try too hard to find out who you are all at once. you're someone who has interests and passions like anyone else. follow that comes naturally, and you'll find your place. there are a lot of people who never realize they don't know who they are, and for you to realize that you want to know is the first major step. congratulations! college or any other education can be a great way of finding out more about yourself, as can joining clubs or organizations or volunteering. Personally, i've found the greatest fulfillment in Jesus. It truly is amazing how Someone people call imaginary can give a life purpose. But preaching isn't my thing. As for interacting with friends, there's always something to have as common ground. TV? Hobbies? Music? Just talk about what you know, or ask them about what they like. Anyway, the point is to be yourself and you'll find your place in this world. I hope my advice helps a little. Trust me, man, we've all felt lost now and then. I'll keep you in my prayers. Best wishes!  

Answer 11

Try THIS; List ALL the things You like & don't, & write down WHY you think you do or don't. THAT will begin the Framework for recognizing Who You ARE. THEN, write down all the things You LIKE about yourself & Don't. THESE will be the things to can Improve upon, or change- accordingly. And Finally; ask Yourself what "Interests You..." -& use THAT as a starting Point for choosing a Direction to your Life...  DON'T make "Judgments" about any of these Things. -You can worry about THAT- later. For NOW, you need to concentrate on figuring out WHO You Are, WHAT You Want, & what You're going to DO about it! Once you get THESE "balls rolling"- the REST will follow...  So give it a Shot- & good luck!  :)  

Answer 12

Find things that interest you --- READ , newspapers, magazines, books.Go browse through a library or book store (Barnes & Nobles is an excellent bookstore for browsers :)) Read about events and people from today and from the past. Turn on the television and watch the news,documentaries, biographies. Explore different types of music styles.

Try taking a college class and learn something new......maybe even a new language. Travel if possible.

Doing things like this, you're basically "dipping" your finger into a variety of situations. It'll either catch you by surprise, make you wonder, or maybe even bore you. Whatever it does , you'll be learning more about yourself, your likes,dislikes......neutral zones. Also, it'll give you something more to talk about with others and conversation will come a little more easier simply because ---- you have something to talk about.