My FH and I are very much in love, and the best of friends. He tells me how much he wants to get married, looks forward to the wedding, and being my husband. However, he gets angry whenever I bring up how much he has saved (we're each contributing $3,000 to the wedding). We have a year left, and last I heard, he had nothing saved. Anymore, he tell me he's joking about this or that, but he doesn't seem like it, an dit's always things he knows will hurt me. For example, acting like he wasn't ready when he gave me the promise ring when we had been dating a year, but he knew I wanted it (as if I strong armed him or something). The one thing he never throws in my face is our engagement, and I know he loves me and truly does want to get married...We wanted custom bands. I found a ring I loved, but didn't like it completely (this and that weren't just right for my e-ring). He and I tweaked it some, and are having it made by a jeweler. Tonight I called him to say the jeweler wanted a $50 deposit, and he freaked out.
And started saying how he would have liked to have say in this or that, and acting like the wedding and the ring are all about me. That really hurt. I showed him the ring I liked, told him how I liked it, but what was wrong with it and WE tweaked it. I found the jeweler, contacted her, and kept him updated on every exchange. Asked his opinion on everything. He acted like he loved the idea of custom rings, and never once said anything to the contrary. In fact this Sat. we were going to look at some ring styles to get inspiration for his. He acts like it comes from me, and was freaking because HE had to pay for it and it's "MY ring." He acted like he was joking, then said he wasn't. That's when he said the wedding was just the same that he didn't have a say in anything. That really hurt and pissed me off, because I've begged him to be a part of it, but he says planning isn't his thing (he's the in-the-moment sort). I have spent hours discussing things with him, asking his opinion, basing decisions on these conversations, creating a unique and wonderful wedding, and he throws it all in my face.
I LOVE the wedding that is forming. It is so unique, so awesome, but he's ruined it all for me. I am no longer excited about any of it. I thought of US the whole way, and tried to get him involved. I sent him a message 2 MONTHS ago about vows and he still hasn't read it, but tells me that this is my fault, because I don't value his opinion. That's all I ever asked for! From Day One of our engagement I asked him for a list of what he wanted in the wedding, and he brushed me off. He put me off anytime I ask him for anything (opinion, thoughts, ideas, etc) for the wedding.
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