I don't feel like having s*x, but my wife's feelings get hurt?

Question

I remember when I was a teen and in my 20s, and I would pretty much m********e everyday. Nowadays my life just isn't so carefree, and when you have so much responsibilities to deal with and things to worry about, s*x just doesn't enter my mind.

I mean, I find my wife beautiful and I think women are s**y, etc. But I just don't feel like it. It's like a chore?

Obviously she's hurt. She thinks I don't find her attractive anymore. Supposedly she's depressed (she says). What can I say or do to make her feel better?

Answer 1

See your doctor and ask for Levitra (ED drug). It works. Then go home to your wife and suck it up like the rest of the husbands. If it doesn't work, maybe your wife has issues.

Answer 2

What should you do??? Stop using s*x to control or punish your wife.

s*x never enters your mind? Either you are very old or you have a serious problem. I have never known a man who never thinks about s*x. You need to get some counselling and find out how to deal with all the stress in your life. If you don't get your act together you are going to lose your wife to a man who makes her feel attractive and s**y and there are plenty of men out there who know exactly what to say to win your wife over. Or maybe your wife will just give up on you and file for a divorce.

I guess what you decide to do all depends on whether you want to save your marriage or see her leave so you don't have to deal with the chore of having s*x anymore.

Answer 3

Maybe you need to leave the kids the bills the house and take a second honeymoon , or if you never had one your first one. Go rediscover each other .Break out of the rut, stress , jobs, life can get us down , there is nothing wrong with breaking away and leaving it behind for a few days .  

Answer 4

I'm going through what your wife is going through.. Maybe your sexual libido is not as high as hers is (so Iv been told earlier) If possible have at least one night a wk in your room with candles and music and make it special for her. I'm sure you have stress and responsibilities just like my guy tells me but if you care about how she feels as a woman you would take that initiative for her, just one night a week:) surprise her with that.

Answer 5

Consider marriage counseling before things get worse, between you two  

Answer 6

you definitely need to give her some attention plus time

Answer 7

Suggest therapy so you can a professional advise so she can see that it's normal and not her.

Answer 8

take her out to some where romantic, (: - and tell her, you`ve been stressing, that why you don`t feel like having s*x.

Answer 9

She probably is depressed c**p I would be to if I was you I would go see a doctor. There is something wrong most men no matter the age can't get enough of s*x. Maybe you need a pill or something or cut somethings out of your life that you can get rid of to less the load of stress.

If you just do nothing sometime your wife is going to get tired of it and who knows what could happen then.

Answer 10

if she is depressed, get her to a doctor

other than that, try to make an effort to show her how much you love her, if you don't feel like having s*x, maybe.....give her some oral, seriously. Give her the passion she wants, it doesnt all have to be s*x , massaging, flirting, flowers, candy, little love notes in areas you know she will go

Answer 11

What you do is totally unfair for her. You have make a step towards destroying your marriage, and it will develop through time until she makes her decision to cheat or leave you. And dont think that its her fault since you have every bit of the reasons, whether you acknowledged it or not. Have mercy to your wife by realeasing her if you think she isnt your interest anymore.  

Answer 12

I understand.. my hubby is the same way.. I know he loves me even though he doesnt provide in that area too.. But from the womens point of view... If he cant provide for me in that way.. Him still touching me is nice, just to let me know I am still special.. and I guess it goes back to feeling your husband desires you.  I would be happy if my husband just put his arm around me occassionally when we go out.. or hold my hand... or kiss me...  

my hubby doesnt like drs.. but if you dont mind drs.. then maybe finding out why.. theres def new technology out there for guys who want to be back to normal.. and viagra or etc could help out.  Its def important to have some sort of touch though.. even simple as holding her hand... even if your palms get sweaty.. lol.. take a break.. but grab her hand..

Even if you just kiss her neck before you go to sleep.. hold her occassionally or cuddle.. So being in your guys situation just the fact that he tries to make up for lack of s*x.. is a huge thing!!

Best of luck :)

Answer 13

Of course she's going to feel that way. I certainly would. Just make sure you make her feel special. There are a lot of different things you can do other then s*x... use your imagination. And don't give up on s*x completely.

Answer 14

You should make an effort to get something to increase your libido for her sake.  She will start looking around, if she continues to feel emotionally and sexually neglected.

It would not hurt you to have a prostate check.  My ex had a problem similar to yours, and went to the doctor.  He just avoided prostate cancer, according to his doctor.  

Answer 15

counseling , and great communication with her.

Answer 16

As a man in a relationship without much action I want to come and beat you senseless.

Start focusing on your wife, give her a bubble bath and a long backrub and ask her how she'd like to make love tonight with you.  Then take her to bed and make it happen.

Intimacy is a gift, stop squandering it and love your wife as much as she wishes.

Answer 17

There are many reasons and if you love your wife, none of the reasons have to do with lack of love for her. The first thing a woman thinks is she's no longer attractive, you don't love her, you're having an affair..and the list goes on. She may even begin to feel insecure and depressed. If you have gotten to the place in your life where you just don't feel like making love and seldom even think about it, you're not abnormal. Hormones in men are affected just as they are in women. If you don't feel like s*x, try to hold her and cuddle..showing her you feel love for her. Tell her it's not her, it's just that you don't feel like it. What she doesn't understand is by complaining she is putting stress on you and that just makes it worse. Possibly you should have your doctor do a hormone work up on you. You may find your testosterone level is low, which is common as we age and this definitely affects the s*x drive and other things as well. I think it would do you & your wife a lot of good mentally and physically to find out if there is a medical reason for your lack of drive. My husband and I are going through a similar situation and his testosterone levels are low. I am posting a website below that has some good information in it..good for you and also for her.(don't be offended by the ED portion of it. It is good reading) Good luck.

Answer 18

you must make love to your wife!! Life should not be so full of worries that you cannot even see the beauty of your partner. If it is, you must cut back on things stressing you out! Put things in perspective- if you live in the western world, surely you have some comforts other people around the world do not have. Appreciate the little things. Appreciate your partner. Women are extremely sensitive and if you cannot be intimate with her and she needs you to, really what is the point? You become friends- but not really, because you are not her friend, you are not fulfilling her needs. so you are like a friend she has resentment towards. And really that is called an enemy and you will end up as that as she falls out of love with you and seeks intimacy elsewhere. Be a man, do something you dont like every now and then, make time for it and stop being such a robot. s*x is not a chore, watch some good romance movies, watch a film set in paris, eat good pasta, drink wine, have passionate s*x(nothing wrong with getting a little help from a friendly pill- but talk talk talk to your wife and explain it really is not her but that you have driven your s*x drive away with your worries) Try to make s*x not a chore, but a relief from the rest of life, an escape. good luck!  

Answer 19

Your overworked go away for the weekend together.