I don't know how parents do it...?

Question

On thursday, I dropped my 15-month old off at daycare for the first time so I can complete my school and get my degree in Dec. After dropping her off, I couldn't stop thinking about her and how she is doing. She doesn't like it when I leave since she's been around me 24/7 ever since she was born. Well, I called my mom crying after 45-minutes of dropping her off because I couldn't stop thinking about her. On Friday, I had to do the same thing. I had to leave her within 5 minutes of being there and when I got outside, I cried. How do parent do it? How do you move past the tears after dropping your child off? I hate to call them every day to check on her, but they told me it's normal and parents do this. This is so HARD for me! I got to do this again next week starting Monday.

Answer 1

This isn't going to help you and most will disagree with me, but I wonder why women have babies when they are only going to hand them off to someone else to raise.  If your time is so important to you, don't have children who will interfere.  If you have a children, commit to them; your time with them is worth more that the things you can buy them,  And don't use the excuse that it takes 2 incomes to keep afloat today.  Make wise money choices before you have children as well as after.  It can be done and you don't have to have a huge income to do so. I'm sorry you feel such distress, but it was your choice to do what you are doing.  (And good luck on completing your degree)

Answer 2

You really have to think that you are doing it for her. She needs to socialise and interact with toher kids, so think"im doing it for her, yes il miss her but i am doing it for her". It will be great, and they take really  good care of the babies. She will love it.

Answer 3

sounds like your being the baby.

call and check in sometimes, but you've got to stop worrying. i'm sure shes in good hands

Answer 4

It's happened with my son, he was really clingy, so when I started dropping him off to creche, he would cry and I would feel real bad.  But then I stopped taking him, and Now I'm going back to school, He will have to go to nursery weather he cry's or not. Think about it you need ur time too, u need to do something with ur life.  I mean they grow so You get on with ur life too. My daughter is 6 and my son is nearly 3 and when there together it's a nightmare. So let them be independent.  Good luck

Answer 5

I think every mom who has ever taken a young child to day care can sympathize with you.

Remember, this is harder for you than for her.  What does the daycare provider say when you call?  Does your daughter stop crying after a short while?  Does she seem to be getting more comfortable there?  Is she taking an interest in the toys or activities?  If the answers are "yes," then you can be pretty sure she'll be OK with it.  Now you just have to be OK with it.  

It might help to remind yourself that finishing your degree is helping to secure her future.   She'll be the one who benefits most when you get a good job.  You'll be able to provide for her and give her extras that will help her develop her talents and interests. She will not remember going to day care at this age.  As long as it's a good day care, she will not suffer from it. And it's only until December.

Drop her off, let yourself make one call an hour later, and then try to keep your mind on your classes until it's time to pick her up.  If you can devote your "apart" time to your school work, you'll be able to concentrate on her when you're together.

Have faith.  This will work.  And when you proudly collect your diploma, have your picture taken with her while you sport that well-deserved cap and gown!

Answer 6

In Canada we get 12 months off with our baby and I had to go back a couple of months early so she was 10 months.  Honestly, I cried all night at work for two weeks.  I worked in a factory with 40 hours a week.  After two weeks I got a notice that I'd be laid off in another two weeks.  I got so angry and frustrated with everything I called in on the Monday after I got my notice and quit.  I became a stay at home Mom and we sacrificed a lot, but I get to be with my babies.  I seriously don't know how anyone can do that.  A lot of people must be very strong to do that.  I seriously cannot ever see myself doing it I'm just too much of a softie :(

Answer 7

I did it with my 5 year old and I do it with my 8 month old. It's completely normal but once your baby gets into a routine you both will calm down. You won't miss her/him any less that's with you throughout their lives :) It does get better though I promise!!

Answer 8

I did that with all 4 of my Children it is a very hard thing for a mother to do.

Answer 9

time is the only thing that helps with this. like you, i didn't use a daycare until they were 13mos & my son was 3. it was very hard. the best thing to think about is that you did all the research you could on this daycare (point 1, she is safe) it is great for her to be around kids her own age (development) beleive it or not, there will be a time when you need time for yourself, and this will make it easier. she knows you love her, and after a couple of days , she will realize the routine. mom drops me off and then she comes back.

im sure she doesn't like it, alot of kids don't. but if you realize that it is harder for you than it is for her, it might help. she is probably having the time of her life right now. playing with other kids her age, developing socially, mentally, going outside. getting used to new people and not just mommy 24/7. it is good for her.

you will love it after about 2 weeks when you pick her up and she is starting to sing words to songs that she learned, or she points out a color. im not saying you did not do these things with her, but nothing is comparable to a daycare/school enviroment, as long as it is a good one.

and by the way- call 10 times a day if you want!! shes your baby. if the teachers are good ones, they will hang up and say " a couple more days and mom will be doing as well as her daughter!" they are used to that and it shows you care!

Answer 10

It is really hard and you eventually get used to it.  I found it much easier when I knew my child was having a good time.  Don't get me wrong the older he got the more he put it on. He would cry and cling to me but the doors has small glass panels at the top that you could look through and after i left he would just walk away and the tears would stop and he would play!! The 1st time this happened I think I was rather offended lol.

It soon gets easier and your doing the right thing because your out there doing what you need to do for you and your child.  You should feel proud of what your doing :)  

Answer 11

well its easier when you start when they are young, because by now you'd be fine dropping her off. i used to have a hard time with it and i would get to her daycare 30 mins before i needed to, but now shes almost 2 and although i miss her all day and its hard to leave when she is crying i don't get upset about it