I don't know how to deal with this...?

Question

Okay, I'm in college staying on campus with a room mate that I've become good friends with. We hang out a lot and we eat lunches together. We've done this since we first met, with this other girl. I don't have a problem with her, but I seriously think that she has a problem with me. It seems as if she only puts up with me (girls, you know what I mean; fake smile, fake, happy attitude, that sort of thing) when I'm around, and I get this vibe from her like she's talking about me when I'm not around. But that's not the problem that I'm having trouble dealing with.

Every time that my room mate and I are hanging out, she tries to be there. She ignores me and talks to my room mate as if I'm not even there and finds ways to try to take her away from me. So I suppose what my issue is with this girl is that I think she's trying to wedge her way in between me and my room mate/friend. Can anyone give me any advice on how to deal with this?

Answer 1

You didn't tell whether your room mate enjoyed the company of the other girl. Human beings are quite unpredictable and seldom express at the appropriate moments in situations like yours. Don't try to be anxious over the situation. Wait and see the response of your room mate. You can not control human beings. But what you can do is to remain fair with others.

Answer 2

Forever remain the best person you can be; towards yourself as well as others!  Never try to over think a situation that could possibly be the way it isn’t; but only in you mind.  I'm not saying that this other person isn't doing things or acting certain ways - only that if you are experiencing other effects (rejection, animosity, etc.), make sure they are not being created by your own thoughts and feelings.

For instance, lets say you went out to a fancy restaurant, wearing a shirt that - you only realized on the way to the restaurant - had a stain on it (not a bad one; maybe just barely noticeable).  That whole time, while you could be enjoying the company of others and experiencing fine cuisine, you only worry about the stain and what others may be thinking of you wearing a stained shirt!  All this, and maybe no one has noticed the stain at all!

Personally, I would engage the person on a friendly level and observe how they react.  Scientific observation and testing (if you will) can only be the most accurate method of discovering the situation for what it really is.  And if you discover that this person really does have a problem with you, find out why.  Discuss what has caused this dislike and never accept or feel responsible for any invalid motives (like - “I don’t like how you dress” or “You talk funny”).  You’re in college now (not High School) and there should be a higher level of maturity present!

Always remember what you inner strengths are (friendliness, intelligence, compassion, etc.) and never allow someone else to aggressively, or passively, compromise your best use of them!  The other two answer you received were good advice, as well.

Answer 3

You should talk to your roommate about it. She might know whats going on.