I don't know how to get my husband to understand, please help!?

Question

I had a huge blow out with a girl that was some what of a friend. Problem is, she's my husband's best friend's girl friend, if that makes sense. Anyways. She doesn't have a good reputation and I've seen her mess around on boyfriends, s***w around with her friends men, and so on and so forth. I asked my husband not to hang with her by his self. But he keeps doing it! I don't think they are doing anything, but it hurts that he doesn't understand my request. I've explained it every way I know how. Help!

Answer 1

Your husband is the one with the problem here. You know that this girl is trouble, yet he hangs out with her ALONE? Why? I could understand his being around her if his friend was there too...but alone? What's up with that? No married man should be hanging out alone with another woman. I think you have a bigger problem here than getting your husband to understand your point of view here. I think he understands this girl all too well, if you know what I mean. Try talking to his friend if talking to him doesn't work, though I think your problem has already gone way beyond the talking stage... at least with them. Good luck!

Answer 2

People who treat the people around them like that will eventually burn everyone. She should not be welcome around your family.

If she marries and changes her ways to the point of establishing a differetnt reputation, then great. Otherwise, I would not extend a welcome to her ***.

Answer 3

Don't you trust your husband?

Answer 4

Post naked pictures of her online

Answer 5

You've explained yourself to your husband and you've made a case for this girl being bad news. Now step back. If he gets in trouble with her, it's done. You can't prevent it. He will have gone out of his way to do something that he knew was wrong and in addition, he was warned about. So let it go. Wait for the other shoe to drop, so to speak, and don't get yourself all upset thinking you can control events OR him OR her. You can only control yourself. Be prepared, if it turns out that he cheats with her, to simply walk right out of the marriage.

Answer 6

Ask yourself why he wants to be with her alone? I am puzzled at this and as you already know this is her way your husband is her target as well. I can understand if she is around when he is with his best friend as this is his best friends girl, but why do they have to hang out alone? Can he give you a good answer for that?

I smell a cheater, but you must just wait and give him enough rope to hang himself on, get ready save money, make plans and as soon as any cheating comes to light simply say this is al it takes to get rid of you...small price to pay but worth it and walk out. You will feel hurt but if he is cheating and you have asked and talked it over, then he dose not respect you or the relationship and if you stay with him after scolding him he will only know he can put you through more and after a small good period will run off and cheat again.  

Answer 7

Maybe he knows and had some

Keep on warning him about her and dont stop.

Answer 8

maybe he already messing with her. cause if he can't understand your feelings then something is going on

Answer 9

he is not respecting your opinion,

you need to get him to counseling and have him work on his marrige skills

Answer 10

There's a difference between jealousy and acceptable boundaries in a marriage.  Your request is completely reasonable.  Really, any concern you have of his friendships with women should never be dismissed.  That's what makes this a marriage - you are committed to each other, and other people do not have a right to interfere.  The reality is that men and women DO cheat, and if your husband doesn't have realistic boundaries, there's a very good possibility that this girl could steal him away.

Unfortunately, it sounds like your husband can't see outside of his own point of view.  That's when you have to bring it up another way at another time, as if you're telling a story.  Think of it as helping him stand in your shoes.

Is there a guy that really rubs your husband the wrong way?  Out of the blue, you should mention to your husband something about this other guy, maybe that he's really great and you've been wanting to get together with him, just you and him.  When your husband gets irritated and asks you not to do this, blow him off like he's being jealous. Mention this guy a few times so that it bugs your husband.  Then when he has another conversation with you about it, tell him the truth, that there's nothing going on with this guy, you're not hanging out at all.  Then explain that this is how you feel about this other girl.  

Really, if he's a loving husband, he should respect your concerns. If my suggestion doesn't work, and he still doesn't want to see it your way, then maybe you could go together to discuss the situation with your minister or priest.    

Answer 11

  Your husband understands perfectly. He's having a little fun on the side and doesn't want to quit.Start hanging out with a few bad boy male friends yourself. See how he likes it.