I don't know how to handle this anymore....

Question

My father was laid off a month ago from a community college due to budget cuts (He was a researcher). For all of my life, it has been lay off after lay off for him (none have ever been his fault). He has a Masters degree and years of experience. He is also in his 60s. We live in the northern suburbs of Chicago.

When he is employed, he is fine. He has a good sense of humor, etc.. When he isn't, however, he gets what he calls "situational depression." He's down on himself, feels bad he doesn't have a job, doesn't handle rejection from recruiters well, etc.. The last long one he had, he got almost downright abusive at times. He refuses to get help as well.

I am now 26 years old, out of college, employed full-time, and still living at home. I get so stressed out here, it isn't even funny. On weekends, I am usually with my fiance, and he lives with his mother. (He is a brain cancer survivor and has to live with her for social security reasons. He is in college.) I am trying to save up for a down payment for a condo as well. Every time I try to move out, I'm talked out of it. I'm told that I don't make enough money (current salary 32-33k/year), there aren't any apartments (rental or condo) in my price range (there are), etc..

Also, since I work in corporate recruiting, he thinks that I have some pull in our postings that I have no control over. I recruit for sales positions not professional. He sees a posting we have and it's like he's begging me for a job. I've tried to contact the person in charge of that posting, but I'm having a hard time getting a hold of her. He acts as if I'm not really trying.

I am just at wit's end. Any advice would help.

Answer 1

that is a heavy weight to carry on your shoulders girl!  I think that you need to look into getting an apartment and then see if he can get some help from the state or something, with you being gone and no income, he should qualify for housing assistance and food help and all of that then he can get a different job, maybe a more stable one but making less money.  Prayer is always good, God will answer if we just listen.

Answer 2

     It's time to move on.You could always start out in a condo or townhome,but you could really consider moving South,you Nothsiders are nuts when it comes to living where you do,rents and housing are though the roof On the north side. Everything,everything,cost more up there/ Chicago isn't the cheapest place to live in but the North side is just nuts.

   Anyway, the job market isn't going to improve do to all of the layoff that are happening in this town. Dads gonna have to deal with his own troubles and you can't feel any guilt about you have your own life to lead and have another person that you love in your life that has troubles of his own.

   Choices aren't always easy,and mistakes are often made,it's up to you to choose.

    And again you could live South for half the price of living North,I know I lived up there and bought a house one year later with the money I saved.

     Good luck.

Answer 3

Tell him how you feel.  If that doesn't work, figure out your own budget and see whats out there at your level of expense. Dont go my what everyone tells you, Find out for sure.  I dont know what suburb you live in but, you might check into the city.  I am from Chicago, they still have good price areas.  Or consider a roomate.  Dont let him bring you down.  My prayers to you and  your fiance, may you have many years together.

Answer 4

i think its best if you just try out living by yourself for a while, whoever is telling you that is saying it for the best, but you need to learn to be more independant, even if it means falling a bit at first

Answer 5

HAVE YOU TRIED MOVING TO ANOTHER STATE. MAYBE SOMEWHERE WHERE YOU HAVE FAMILY OR FRIENDS.