I don't know how to keep my toddler in bed.?

Question

When my son was 17 months old he began climbing out of his crib and falling down. We bought him a toddler bed and he just loved it. He didn't have a problem going to sleep at 8:00 or staying in bed. During the summer, my husband and I became less routine and let things go. My son was falling asleep on the couch watching TV or going to bed with me. Now he's almost 2, he has an attitude, and isn't sleepy until 9:30 or 10:00 and fights us until one of us stays in his room with him until he falls asleep. He also tells us there's a dragon or moose in his closet and that he's "cared" (scared) Now, not only do I have to battle defiance and work hard for a routine again, I have to help him overcome a fear of the dark and his imaginary creatures. I am going to try a sleepy time routine and putting him in bed by 8:00. If he runs out I'll just keep putting him in his room. But, I'm afraid of making his fears worse? Has anyone else dealt with a similar issue? Any tips or success stories?

Answer 1

I am battlling some of the same issues, right now, too.  We recently moved into a house while we were remodeling it.  Unfortunately, it was the kid's bedroom we were remodeling!  What I have done is talk about her "own" bedroom and what a big girl she is now.  I let her put her special horse blanket on her bed along with a stuffed animal or two of her choice.  When she gets up out of bed, we just put her back in bed.  Some days are better than others, but it really does work if you stick with it!  Don't get me wrong, we still have days where she is absolutely sure that she should get up out of bed to see what is going on.  I just keep putting her back in bed.  Also, I leave a night light and play  music for her (this may help drown out your monsters, you know).  Also,  try to read a bed-time story to your son every night.  It gives him something to look forward to!

Answer 2

Duct tape?

Just kidding.  

Try making him run around outside with you.  Playing with balls or a frisbee or whatever will get all three of you moving.  If you wear him out more, he'll actually want to sleep more.

You can put a clapper light in his closet so he can clap the dragon and the moose away.  They're cheap and they start showing up around November for Christmas gifts.  You could also order one online right now at acehardware.com for 20 bucks.

Answer 3

This is a tough one. Little boys become so defiant at this age, and there are few ways to control them except for make a decision and stick to it. Like you said, make his bed time 8 every night with no deviations (unless you're out somewhere). I guess a nightlight might help, but you probably already have that. Can you put a gate up at his door so that he can't run out? You can also show him his closet before bed and maybe even yell for all imaginary creatures to leave his room so that he thinks you have the power to keep him safe. My 20 month old crawled out of the crib and we got one of those crib tents. Although it was a nightmare for him to get used to it, he finally did and his sleeping is back to normal. My point is, whatever you decide to do, stick to it and make sure in every battle of the wills, that you are the winner. Good luck!

Answer 4

We've been fighting the same battle.  What's worked best is a chart where he "earns" a sticker after staying in bed - one for the chart and one for him.  We started with several rows of 3 large squares.  Three in a row would get a special treat (alternately used trip to favorite restaurant, book, toy, etc., but predefined so he knew what he could "earn").  If he broke it, then the row would be X'd out and have to start over (carrot and stick).  

After going through a couple of pages, we hyped up how impressed we were and made it 4 in a row, then 5, then 5 with a smaller reward and 10 got a bigger one.  

We tried lots of different things, but this had the most success.  

A friend recommended More 1-2-3 Magic which recommended planting a chair outside his door and get a good book, because you may be there a while.  No change after 2 weeks of sitting there for 1+ hours every night.  The idea was to keep him as close to bed as possible, but he seemed to think it was fun to keep checking if I was still there.

Try the chart/stickers.

Answer 5

we have the same problem with out two-year-old.  My guess is your son has figured out that he can say he's scared, and get out of bedtime for a few more minutes.  Invest in a nightlight, and stick to a rigid routine.  Always take him right back to bed when he gets out of it.  Do not stay with him in bed until he falls asleep.  Do the same thing each time (ie--lay down and pat his back and sing him one song, then get up and say "see you in the morning!' and then leave.)  Be boringly consistent.  He'll get the picture, but yes it takes a while.  If you spank, give him a swat each time he gets out of bed.  Make it unpleasant.  Don't let him fall asleep watching tv.  I wouldn't even let him watch tv before bed, unless it was something very mild.  Sometimes the things we see right before bed can be vivid in our minds, and keep sleep away, etc., especially for an imaginitive 2 year-old.  Hope that helps.

Answer 6

I would get back into the routine of putting him in bed every night at 8:00. If he gets up and comes out of his room, grab his hand and march him right back into bed, and don't give in to attention seeking behavior. Even if he tries to come out 100 times, then you'll have to grab him and take him back in 100 times. Don't talk to him, or comfort him, because it will only make it worse - literally just grab his hand and march him back to bed and close to door. After a few nights of that he will get back into the routine. Staying in the room with him is a bad habit, and it will only get worse. I wouldn't do it anymore, it will be much harder to break when he is 6 or 7. If he is scared of the dark, here is what to do - lay him in his bed, read him a story and do goodnight kisses, then go around in his bedroom and check under his bed and in his closet and let him see there is nothing there. Give him a night light in his bedroom to keep it light in there, and keep the door open a little at night until he falls asleep. If he cries in his bedroom then just let him cry it out - I know most parents don't like to hear their kids cry, but there is a difference between your kids crying because they are hurt and crying because they want attention. My neice cried a lot when I made her sleep by herself in herself in her bed ( she was 4, and used to sleeping with mommy and daddy ) but I knew that she would be okay and that I didn't need to check on her and keep coming in to tell her to be quiet and go to sleep, because if you keep coming in thats attention, and they'll want it all the more. He might not even be afraid of anything, he might just want extra attention and to prolong going to bed. He will be okay, you just have to stand your ground and be firm about it.

Answer 7

u should make going to bed fun so then he likes to go to bed so tell him that if he gos to bed h**l get a suprise in the morning  it doesnt have to be anything big just an ice cream or some thing like that i hope that works for u o and all kids are scared give him a night light that way he can see that theres nothing there