I don't know if I should tell him or not?

Question

I know I am going to get a lot of negative feedback on this one, but I know what we did was wrong and there is no way to undo it. Ok here goes. My ex-husband and I wanted a baby. He didn't have any of his own and I had my tubes tied after having two. We were unable to adopt and decided (again I know it was stupid) my husband would impregnate someone and she would give us the child to raise. We actually found someone willing to do it and she got pregnant right away. She was from another state and went home soon after she became pregnant. Over the next nine months, she lied to us several times and ended up finally telling us she had an abortion. We were crushed. I continued to have contact with the girl on and off. My husband and I got a divorce. He was mentally and physically abusive. He and I have both since remarried. I have forgiven him for everything becuase he has apolofized many times. I know he has trully changed, because I see how he treats his new wife. He hasn't totaly changed

Answer 1

I think he does have a right to know.  She might chase after him for child support down the track.

Think of the child though - if the mother is on probation for drugs, what sort of a life will the kid have?  She sounds like a very shady character and I think you should tell your ex-husband and his wife, then it's up to them what they do with that information.

But bear in mind, it's possible the child may not be his either.

Answer 2

I would stay out of it if I were you. If he wanted to know he would have inquired before. I don't think its any of your business anymore since you're not married. The child does have a right to know who their father is but that bridge will surely be crossed at a later time.

Answer 3

i think he deserves to know but i dont think it would be right to take the child from its mother after two years.

Answer 4

YES, your ex husband has a right to know! you would want to know if u had a child! Tell him its only fair. If u think he will be a better parent, well then he deserves the child anyway