I don't know what to do, can anyone help???

Question

My boyfriend and I are in college. We are suppose to be getting an apartment together. I have been looking for almost 2 months now, and I finally found one. Its $350 a month for a 2 bedroom. All the other apartments I have found have been $425 and up. I also got approved for this apartment where i haven't with the others. I could make this a long story but I am gonna try to make it short. I want the apartment to be in my name so if we break up I will still have a home. My parents are not helping me through college and they never have helped me with anything. However, my boyfriends parents and grandmother are paying everything for him. For the past few months I have been living with my boyfriend at his grandmothers house and it is driving me CRAZY. It is a really small trails with a 65 year old woman always in your business. Anyway, I found is apartment... It isn't the nicest thing but it isn't nasty or dirty it is just an apartment but it is in a pretty good part of town. My boyfriend says it isn't nice enough and wants to get one for $450 and get his grandmother to help pay for it. One problem is that it will have to be in her name. Another problems is I want him to grow up and start paying for his own stuff. I am a very independent person. I hate people doing stuff for me.Does anyone have any suggestions? Sorry i didn't know what category to put this in...

Answer 1

Well, it's not a "words and wordplay" question!  You should rent the $350 apartment you found on your own and if it's a financial stretch, rent the second bedroom out to a roommate.  Then continue to see your bf on your own time -- and on your own conditions.  If the relationship continues, great!  If it doesn't continue, then you're not left out in the cold.  Getting the apartment by yourself will make you more independent, and that's always a good thing.  Good luck.

Answer 2

You truly have a decision to make. If the $350.00 apartment is the only one you can afford if the two of you break up, then that's the one you should get. You want an apartment you can afford if you break up but you want your boyfriend to learn to pay his own bills. It honestly sounds like you want your boyfriend to grow up and do what YOU WANT HIM TO DO. No offense intended, but you want things the way you want them. I don't think you are considering him at all. I don't see the difference between his grandmother telling him what to do and you telling him what to do. If you want him to be his own person, that should be in every area of his life which includes with you too. It doesn't sound like your relationship is to stable if you want a certain apartment in your name in case the two of you break up. You sound like you "want your cake and eat it too."

I'm sorry if this reads really harsh but reread you own statement and see if it doesn't sound a bit contradictory and kind of self-centered on your part.