I don't know what to do. Help!

Question

Ive found out that someone close to me is cheating on his wife and has been for a few months. I cant bear to tell his wife as it will break her heart and I'm too afraid to bring it up with him.

I want him to be found out but don't want to wreck their marriage as they have 2 older children.

It tearing me up inside as I can't trust anything he says because I know its all a lie and I can't bear the thought of his wife being heartbroken.

Any advice would be gratefull.

Thanks.

Answer 1

I can understand your dilemma, but it really isn't your responsibility to reveal his infidelities.  I think the most you can do is talk to him about it and let him know why its wrong and why you disapprove.  If you're afraid to bring it up with him, why are you his friend?

Answer 2

Sounds like his wife will end up heartbroken anyway. The truth is always best, and this is what may have to come out here, don't twist it with lies and don't let it eat you up inside, your not the person that's causing this distress and you shouldn't receive any yourself.

If i was in your shoes i would simply tell his wife and leave it there, don't cause yourself any more hastle than necessary.

Answer 3

Tell him you know about the affair and it's putting you in an awkward position. If he won't tell his wife then tell him it leaves you with no option but to tell her yourself. May be this will shake him up a bit and make him reflect on his own stupidity.

I would also find out who the other woman is and tell her to back off. If she is married as well give her the same ultimatum that you have given your friend. Step lightly - it may all back fire in the wrong direction :)

Answer 4

maybe you should just let it unfold on its on. if a few months pass and you think it's getting worse or there's no chance of him getting caught, id say submit an anonymous email. haha. just tell them if you think its getting out of hand or even worse. otherwise let her catch him herself.  

Answer 5

If your husband was cheating on you, would you want to know?

Answer 6

In my view, you only have two options. The first option being that you confront the husband and tell him that you know, and that he must either tell his wife or end the affair. Or, keep quiet about it and leave it for them to sort out themselves. It's not really your place to tell his wife, and it'll destroy your friendship and their relationship. If you're close to him, you should be able to talk to him about this, no matter how uncomfortable the conversation will be.