I don't know what to do and really need advice?

Question

My gf just recently had a miscarriage, and we moved in with my cuzen and her husband. They have a 2 month old baby. My gf started tacking it hard yesterday, but she's doing better now. I'm tacking it hard now. I cant stop thinking about the baby me and her were ganna have. Me and her both keep clinging to the baby like if he was our own. We keep changing his diper, giving him his bottle, burping him, etc. I really dont know what to do. I keep thinking about the baby that was lost more and more. What should I do?

Answer 1

well what i would do is see if u could have another

i feel bad after reading your description well think about other things while

you try to get over the miscarriage

Answer 2

I am sorry for your Loss.Remember this is there baby and they want to enjoy it and do all the things you 2 are doing for this child.I would step back and let them care for there child and you 2 need to mourn for yours and move on and try for another child in a few weeks when the Dr says it is ok to try again.

Answer 3

Learn how to spell.

Answer 4

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is understandable that you might have those feelings towards this baby. I would like to recommend a book that addresses the issue of losing someone, but that helps one deal with it in a way I've never seen before. The book is called "The Shack" by William P. Young. I really think it could help you and your girlfriend deal with your loss. God Bless!

Answer 5

I would suggest going through your time of grief to properly deal with the miscarriage.  Then, after some time, try for another.  In the mean time, take care of your friend's baby.  It will help you learn and comfort you a bit.  Be careful not to take it too far with their baby though.  They know you are grieving, but if they feel uncomfortable, they might not tell you considering you just lost a baby.  I hope you try again soon because you really sound like you will adore your child.

And don't worry about the jerk who posted about your spelling.  

Answer 6

Enjoy their baby! If anything, it's a way to learn, when you get married, settle down and plan a pregnancy in the future.  I am sorry for your loss! There is nothing wrong with nurturing the other baby, as long as your cousin doesn't mind.  

Answer 7

i lost a baby about 2 years ago and it is very hard.  you should just try to be happy for your cousin and it is ok to love that baby.   in time you will have one of your own.  i was depressed for a long time, but now i have an adorable baby girl.

Answer 8

It will take time to heal and I have also had a miscarriage I got to the ultrasound and there was no heart beat. It is normal to grieve and normal for small babies to remind you of what you lost. Usually it is best to avoid these reminders but as you are living there you may not have a choice. Take comfort in holding this bundle of joy but remember he is not yours and cannot replace what you have lost. Try not to get confused by placing too much need onto this small baby or it will hurt too much when you have to move out. When I lost my baby I kept trying to figure out what went wrong was I eating wrong, did my step daughter jump in my lap too hard too often, did I drink too much on new years, is there something wrong with my body - the truth is I will never know what went wrong and that is a very hard part of accepting it as it means acceting that you will never know what went wrong and it will never make any sense. If you can I would move and focus on something different for awhile go on a holiday or pursue a hobby. Three years on I have a baby girl and I thought I was going to lose her too because I bled through my pregnancy but I didnt. I will never forget the baby I lost but life moves on and new gifts arrive. I am so sorry for what you have lost. Pay tribute to the life you held for a small time burn a candle for him or her or go to a special place like the forest or ocean and take some flowers to say goodbye to the life that was lost. Give him or her a name if you wish and write the baby a letter. Some souls only need to be with us for a short time it was enough for the baby to be close to you in the womb for a short time and that was your gift to the baby. I really wish you all the happiness for the future because it will get better I know its hard to feel that right now.

Answer 9

it takes time. talk to someone and to each other.

Answer 10

well are you prepared to have another baby? you'll never get over the loss of a child- but you can try for another baby...

the joy of a child is wonderful. but you'll never stop wondering what might have been.

Answer 11

I am sorry for your loss! It sounds like you are going through the normal stages of grief. What you might want to do is to sit down with your gf and talk about what you both are feeling or go to a counselor to help with the loss. There are many free counselors for losses such as this. Try and take a few days away from the baby, maybe just the two of you, and see if that helps. Miscarriage is a common occurence and though hard to experience, it does get better. Good luck on this.

Answer 12

It's great that you care about your baby, but thinking about him/her all the time won't solve anything. I'm really sorry, but your baby is gone, so don't let that destroy your life. You should foccus your attention on your girlfriend because she probably needs you the most right now. Everything will be okay, just pray for that baby and hope for a good future.