I don't know what to do for my kids...

Question

My children's dad and I are divorced and both re-married. They live with him, and see me on the standard visitation days. They come to stay with me and every visit they talk about how their step-mom treats them. It seems she is verbally abusing them. The kids are 11 and 8. She has threatened my older daughter with making her life "miserable" if she is not in complete compliance. The kids say that when they try to spend time with their dad, their stepmom interrupts and causes a scene. They are emotionally shattered and I don't know what to do to help them. They say they can't talk to their dad, because he'll tell his wife, and she'll take it out on the kids when he's not around. I have personally witnessed this myself, and I am to the point, I am ready to throttle this woman. I don't know what to do. My kids are scared of their step mom and they live in constant fear. It seems to me she is jealous of my daughters. Help!!!!

Answer 1

You may want to have a meeting with the kids and their dad. Try to record some of the things she says to them. Present them to the judge or your divorce lawyer.

Answer 2

Go get a lawyer, take them to court and petition for custody, she's a psycho, they don't need to be around that.

Answer 3

I think you need to talk to their dad( if you have an open communication) and tell him that you have some concerns where his wife is concerned. If that's not an option then you need to bring in outside mediators maybe you all need to have a famliy meeting with the whole lot of you. If you have seen this woman bully your kids maybe it should even be a legal matter.

Answer 4

Well you are stuck in the middle but as a mom  i know i would have a talk witht their father even if we didnt get along. It seems like he is letting his wife take all the control away from him and in my opion it should be his place to say something to them if anything is wrong. You should tell him that your children want to have good realationship with him cant because of her and try to work this out. Maby he has no idea whats going on at all.

She does sound jealous to me like she is a grown adult making your kids life h**l.  Mabye she wants him all to herself, maybe she dosnt want kids their are so many options. I would just talk with him and then go from their .

Answer 5

Talk to their dad then get a lawyer

Answer 6

Record them telling you these things or even get them to secretly record the stepmom doing this. Then get a lawyer and take your kids back asap

Answer 7

Be carefull they are not playing one parent off on the other.  

Answer 8

Sounds like she is threatened by them

I suggest you talk to your x if he doesn't do something I suggest you get a lawyer to get custody of your children.Something tells me thats what she is trying to make happen anyway.Before you do thou you need to make sure that your current husband will support you with this,because the courts will look at everyone in this.

Answer 9

Mature confrontation may be the best soultion here. See if you, dad, step mom and the children can all sit down in a mature way to discuss the issue. Be sure to keep calm and respectful voices and ADDRESS ONLY THE PROBLEM AT HAND. Sometimes it's easy to go off subject, but it's important not to. Stay on subject so it doesn't turn into a dramatic scene that leaves things worse than before. Speak little, act only as a support and advocate for your children. Avoid  name calling, yelling ect. Listen as much as you speak. Those are a few tips that will help should you decide to 'pow wow' lol I hope this helps and good luck :0)