I don't know what to do with my life? I feel like a failure!

Question

i dont know why i always fear so many things in my life... like i fear what i will do when school gets over...what will i do for a living......i fear growing old... i fear being weak...i fear being alone... i dont wanna live anymore... but everytime i try to hurt myself... i cant... im not brave.......i cant make my own decisions...... how can i forget my past and move on without thinking all negative things... and how can i prevent bad things from happening to me?

Answer 1

You don't state your age, which would have helped here.

Question: > how can i forget my past and move on <

Question: > how can i prevent bad things from happening to me <

Answer ~ to both.  Sorry, but you cannot ~ to both the above.

Past events will pass into the past with the passage of time.

Everyone who lives does so in ways wherein 'bad things will not happen to them' ...they hope.  But you do not control the environment, nor the weather nor the behaviour of other people, each of which singularly or together can impinge and inflict on you in some way and to some lesser or even GREATER degree.

Instead of looking at the things you fear as something to be 'feared', look at them instead as challenges.

As a kid at school, Arithmetic was what I dreaded.  Teachers didn’t teach, the didn’t help, they just ‘Instructed’, and when answers were wrong, it was a matter of ‘Go away and try again’.  None helped me, none took time to help me.

Years later as a mature student, I was given a series of simple sums to do. I did them and the guy who was there ‘to help me’ in the student resources centre, asked me how I did the sums?

I told him, how I knew that 7 and 3 = 10, and that 3 X 10 were 30 and so didn’t need to write down these steps.  I explained that I knew 6 X 7 were 42 etc etc.  So he understood how I saw numbers, how I related to them and Why my feelings which came from childhood inhibited me.

As a result, I not only got answers right, I actually understood the questions and the formulas, and I surprised myself by looking forwards to going to the Math class.

You don't say what it is from your past which causes you so many negatives feelings about it ....and so you really limit and possible help here.

My advice is to find for yourself a counsellor of some kind who can take time to listen to you.

You are free to be or to NOT be whatever it is you do not want to be.

In the end, you only have to make YOUR deciscion about it.

Sash.

Answer 2

Dear Jeremy,

A year ago, I was feeling exactly the way you are feeling. I was so terrified, and stressed every night before I graduated from school. For several months I actually developed insomnia...

But one morning, I woke up, and I realized I have a choice.

I could either completely stress out, give up and allow that fear to completely consume me then do nothing with my life, or I can ACCEPT (honestly one of the hardest things I have had to do) that I don't know what to do now and see that I am lucky enough NOT to have a plan, and instead have the possibility for anything in the world!

I'm not an excessively positive person, and most of the time I just live in fear of decisions or taking on things that are difficult, and I guess that's just being human and a part of growing up. But if you can get through this, you will literally be on the doorstep to a world of opportunity. Don't give up, just give yourself time.

Feel free to message me if you ever need to talk, I'd be more than happy to help, because I've definitely been there.

Answer 3

  I think getting into other interests or trying to get involved in other things would help you from concentrating on yourself.  I know it's hard that way, but I do think you could find other interests.  

  I kind of felt that way once, and just got lucky enough to fall into helping others.  I started visiting a group home of people with cognitive disorders or were mentally or physically handicapped.  I ended up spending every friday afternoon at a day care center for physically underdeveloped young folks.  It helped me get my mind off myself and my world.  I have been doing that now for nearly twenty years,  

I'm an alchoholic.

I'm a veteran.

I hope this helps.

thanks

Answer 4

you need to seek medical advice, you may have a chemical imbalance  in your brain which can be corrected with the right meds. that does not make you a failure though.  

Answer 5

All I can say is that the concious mind can only hold one thought at a time. Make it a good one, and you won't have to think about the bad ones.

Join a group/sport/club or something and meet new people. :]

Because once you hit rock bottom, you can't get worse.. You can only get better!

Answer 6

Hey Jemmy, maybe you are afraid of the future because you don't know what it holds, and because no one can tell you what will be. This is a great uncertainty and can make people feel scared. What can you do about this fear?

Just think to yourself that there is no reason why bad things should happen to you - it is much more likely that everything just goes normally, and that a lot of good things happen to you!

Don't let bad thoughts linger. For example, if I were afraid of being in an accident, I would tell myself how many millions of people go out and get places safely, without anything happening to them at all.

Also, don't worry about things that haven't happened yet. If you worry or not will not affect what is going to happen. There is a saying that goes, 'We'll cross the bridge when we come to it.' Why waste your energy on imaginary problems? Use your energy to master challenges here and now. For instance, think about this school year only, not your whole career. Keep going back in mini-steps until you get to the present. E.g. don't worry about the end of year result. Don't even worry about the maths test in 4 weeks. Just think about your homework everyday and what you did in class today, then you will do anyway because you got all the little steps right.

Answer 7

You can't hurt yourself because you don't want to. If you were a failure, and wanted to die, you wouldn't be reaching out and asking for help. You are so brave to me for telling people this. For trying to find a way to make yourself better. All you need to do it talk to people who care about you. YOU CAN MAKE YOUR LIFE WORTH IT!! Your never alone, someone who loves you will always be there. I don't know about your past, but allow that to change you in a positive way, and embrace the future. If you fear things, life is so limited. We are built to go out, and get what we want. Do what makes you happy. I believe in you.

Best of luck :)

Answer 8

I am very sorry for what you are going through. I think the best way to treat this is going to the doctor, I believe you may be suffering from depression and need to be treated as soon as you can. Another way to make things better is to give you life completely to God, let him know he is in control and that you need him to enter your life. Try going to church and changing your lifestyle for the better. God has made a big difference in my life and he will in yours. Just remember to pray to him and ask him to help you change, you may not see quick results but if you devote yourself enough they will come. I have gone through some hard times to and have found relaxation, peace, and serenity in reading Gods word. I hope this helps you out and remember don't give up your faith and don't lose hope. But whatever you do Please DON'T do anything crazy like commit suicide,your life is far too valuable. I wish you best of luck and I will pray for you and your health every day. If you every need to talk to someone feel free to e-mail me at [e-mail] . :D

Anna Soto

Answer 9

Try forcing yourself to talk with someone about your problem, like a counselor or something.  If you're like me, the thought of talking to a counselor is super-scary, too.  But it'll be worth it!