I don't know what to tell her? I feel as if im not saying enough :(?

Question

My best friend's step dad currently has cancer,he's got diagnoised 2 years ago.The middle of this week he got sent to the hospital due to complications of the cancer,he went threw the chemo and it didn't work,now he's in the hospital and he is completely out of it,the cancer has spread threw his entire body.I feel so bad.My great grandpa had the same thing except I was 7 when it all happened and had no understanding but I did feel very sad.I tell my friend that he will get better just keep praying and if she or her mom need anything just call me and I will glady be there and help.But everytime we talk about this whole situation I have no clue what else to say,except those 2 things.I let her know im praying for him and hoping for the best since I have met this guy before and he's such an amazing person and so strong.But what else can I do for her? cause I feel as if im not saying enough and it kills to see my best friend and her mother whom im very close to be so hurt.

Answer 1

just be there to support her throughout this and  make sure she knows she is not alone. you should not hold responsible for anything that happens to her dad and make sure your friend knows that to.other than that i don't know what you can do.

Answer 2

Realistically, hon, there is nothing more you can do, except be there for your friend.  What CAN you say, really?  He's dying.  Nothing you say is going to change that, and they will get enough sappy sympathy cards full of wise sayings in the next few months to last a lifetime. She knows you care, she knows you are praying. Give her a chance to talk about it if she wants to, but she may not want to -- she may want to use her friends as an escape from the relentlessness of the situation, a place where she doesn't always have to be sad and worried.  If that's the case, then provide as much distraction and companionship as she wants.  Make sure she's included in all plans for parties, get togethers, football games, etc. -- don't make the assumption that she won't "feel like it".   Help her keep on task with her schoolwork -- she's liable to be a little distracted, and may start forgetting homework assignments, leaving books at school, etc.

If they start having to spend a lot of time at the hospital, offer to housesit, etc.  Clean the bathrooms for them, dust, vacuum, sweep, etc. -- tidy up for them.  Offer to cut the grass or week the garden.  Ask your mom if she can organize meals for the family among your friends. (Sometimes a school will have a parent committee that helps with stuff like this.)

Answer 3

What you're doing now is perfect.   She has a good friend in you.

Answer 4

You are doing the right thing. My Father died of the same stuff. Just tell her you are  praying for her dad and you will be there for her if she ever needs to talk or just a place to cry.

Thank you for what you're doing now. You are more mature than you know.

Answer 5

you may think and she may think aswell that you need to say things to make the both of you feel better but just your presence and having someone by her side will make her feel so much better. Just tell her that if she ever does want to talk your ears are open. I wish her father all the luck! Hope your friend feels better! Em<3