I don't know who to choose as my maid of honor

Question

I have 3 best friends, and they all have issues somehow. One I've NEVER had an issue with, but we see each other little. She hangs out with her group more and I hang with the group from high school still. We're all 24-25. We still consider each other best friends, and I can call her for ANYTHING...I've known her for 11 years. My next best friend, I've known for 12 years, and we have a falling out every 2-3 years it seems. We recently had a falling out for her 23rd birthday and when I brought up the incident 3 months ago. She's super sensitive, and she already thinks she's the maid of honor and is hosting my bachelorette party...Little does she know. I talk to her more than the first friend I mentioned but we have more desputes...

Which friend do I choose the one I've known longer but have more fallouts with. She's real judgemental and sometimes acts holier than I OR the one I speak to once every week or two but NEVER have fallouts with and I can be honest with her about anything.

Answer 1

i would try someone else your close to a family member Cause maybe then none of them will be mad. i would choose someone else you feel close to i had a hard time choosing so i picked my sister in law and i was happy because then no one had a fit i explained it too my sisters (best friends) it was hard choice so i picked the in law i didn't want to lose anyone and i wanted are friendship to last. Cause you have enough stress why add more when your gonna need your friends for other help. have them help out with other plans on the wedding opining things like that.

Answer 2

just tell each you didn't want to hurt any ones feelings so you are going to just have them all be bride maids or co-maids of honor

Answer 3

the first one...the 11 year old friend

Answer 4

I would say the one you can talk to about anything. The way you describe her it seems more that she would fit the part and not make the wedding about her. you just need to pick the person who would be more excited about the whole thing and who would love to give advice but not tell you what to do. I had to best friends to pick between so I just called up each one, talked about some plans for the wedding (dresses, hair, flower girl, etc) and was trying to see which one seemed more interested like they really wanted to be that special person.

Answer 5

I think you should choose the one that you can be honest with. It sounds like you really do like her alittle better than the other one anyway. It's your wedding you should feel good about all your decisions.

Answer 6

I would pick:  The one  you speak to once every week or two but NEVER have fallouts with and you can be honest with her about anything.

Answer 7

I would go for the less dramatic one.  You are already going to have issues with the one and the wedding itself will be stressful.  I would try to pull out as many stops as you can by asking the other one first how she would feel about being your moh.  If she declines it then I would ask the other one.  But i would lay down some ground rules for the one that seems to have issues you know.  That way you can have your cake and eat it too so to speak.  Good Luck and I hope this helps

Answer 8

I have never believed in the whole “3” best friends.  Your best friend is supposed to be the greatest friend of them all…how can you have 3? That’s so high school (time to grow up honey).

Choose the one that is going to be there for you  and that is going to be excited about being your MOH.  If you pick someone that is flaky, then you are going to have a hard time calling her for help.  Neither of them sound good to me.  Maybe you can go with someone else?

What happened to the third best friend?

Answer 9

the one you never have fallouts with. you will need consistency for your wedding!!!  

Answer 10

Interestingly, I would think hard about the 2nd one.  She's the one that has stood by you when there was trouble, had differences of opinion and wasn't afraid to share them you, and fought with you but still is around to be called your friend 11 years later.  The first one sounds like a great friend in fair weather but doesn't sound like the relationship has ever been tested and you aren't close enough to spend alot of time together.

Both of them will probably be honored to stand beside you at your wedding.  And you should be honored to have two good friends.

Answer 11

In the end it is up too you. I had this same problem. My friend of 15 years was who I chose. She, said ok, and then later, she told me she did not know if she could be the maid-of-honor I deserved. I agreed with that since she was not helping me as much as I thought a maid of honor should be. So I was left with four other girls, either my best friend, or my soon to be sister in law, who I was not always trilled with. I chose the sister in law to keep the peace. For my husband and his brother, everyone in his family was shocked. Anyway, not going to dwell on that in case she reads this. She did an excellent job since she had been a bride before herself. It worked out really well for us. So you have to make a list in your head, and go from there, also if one girl already thinks she is MOH, then something made her think that, she should be told otherwise which is not always simple, but needs to be done. If she doesn't understand, then she in not a true friend, she needs to understand it is your decision and that is that. GOOD LUCK

Answer 12

I think the first one will be least likely to cause drama. Talk to her about it and whether she has the time to be around for you if you will be counting on her for help and lay out what you expect from her. I think with her you can hammer it out together and she will work out the best.

Do not underestimate the perils with having a MOH who might cause drama. My MOH was my best friend all through high school. We both knew we were not quite as close anymore and I chose her against my heart (I should have chosen my best guy friend as a Man of Honor but such things were not heard of back then). She threw fits, changed my whole vision of the dresses, mocked me for not having the men in tuxes (at my 1:30 p.m. wedding where technically they are not supposed to wear tuxes) and refused to sing after I said I did not want her to sing some opera aria but a more accessible and weddingy song.

So...honestly...pick the one who can be happy for you, not cause conflict and drama, and will not make it about her.

Answer 13

pick the one you know the best and know that will help you through your whole marriage  

Answer 14

the one you dont have fallouts with.. what if you have a falling out before the wedding?  

Answer 15

yes i would go with the 1st one!!  

Answer 16

I was in the same situation with my 4 friends or cousins. I didn't end up choosing any of them as a maid of honor. They were all just bridesmaid. No one ever mentioned anything. They were all fine with that.  

Answer 17

LESS DRAMATIC! if something goes wrong with her dress you dont want her to freak

Answer 18

I would pick the friend that you never have fallouts with.  The last thing that you need when planning your wedding is additional stress and drama.  Planning your wedding should be fun and a happy time for you.  Why should you have to worry about someone who is known to be judgemental and cause problems.  Good luck with planning your wedding and congratulations!