I don't like being around people?

Question

I avoid making friends, I don't enjoy being around people much. I could easily go to work and come home and not have communication with the outside world at all and be completely ok with that. I really have to make myself spend time in public because I don't want to become a recluse (which I think I could easily be). Don't picture me as some freak who wont talk to people at all or make any eye contact, or someone who hides out in a shack all alone...I have a job, I'll carry on a conversation with people who approach me first, I stay in touch with my family, but I just prefer to be alone and in all honesty, don't really want friends. I'm perfectly ok with shopping alone, staying home on a friday night, sitting and reading a book at my favorite coffee shop for the afternoon without interuptions. Is that ok? Is it weird? Should I make more of an effort to be more sociable?

Answer 1

I had to check whether I posted this question.  You are not alone.  What is sad is how people feel you owe them something and this just makes us retreat further away from the pushiness.

In the end, its not how many friends you have but whether you lived a balanced, full life.

Answer 2

The love for other ppl is probably one of the best things.  Because if we go out there and have solid relationships with people our quality of life goes up.  The feelings we get from satisifing relationships is priceless sometimes.  Its hard to make it through this life alone.  Sometimes we get down and our friends and family are there for support.  When we get stressed out, sometimes its hard to find the power within us to get ourselves back up and friends and family will definately make this easier for you.  Plus you learn a lot about life and it makes you wiser and a better person going through expereinces with people.  If you want to make more friends, you can definately do it, and a lot of people are in the same boat as you looking for a friend they can connect with.  Sometimes we have to take our fears head on, and after we face them, we learned that there was nothing to fear in the first place.  But you never know that unless you do it.

Id suggest surrounding yourself with positive people.  Less drama, less negativity, better friendships.  :-)

Answer 3

good on you. myself, i love to enjoy my own privacy and not be bombarded with idiotic people all the time. i like going out though but just want time on my own once in a while.

Answer 4

You are probably just a natural introvert who is quite shy.Obviously, you don't lack confidence in yourself that much or you wouldn't hold down a job.So you know you are of reasonable intelligence. Could you be a little depressed? lack of enthusiasm amout things causing you to retreat into yourself? have you ever felt rejected? example, maybe by a parent as a child when a younger sibling comes along.Minor things like this give us issues, then the barriers go up, and we fear getting close to people who 'may' hurt us. Maybe you feel inadequate, and don't think people would like the 'real' you.I can see this as you are very defensive about yourself, 'Don't picture me as some freak...'. I am concerned that is how you expect people to see you if you let them close enough?These are only suggestions, I don't know. But if things don't feel quite 'right' for you, then they probably aren't.We have this instinct for a reason. See a counsellor it does sound like 'clinical depression'Very common in young men, esp if you are naturally introverted.At worst Borderline Personality Disorder!Try to take interests and hobbies that will increase your self-worth, and push yourself to talk to others.Relax with pursuits such as yoga and swimming, looking nervous could push people away.Put yourself in situations where you have to talk to people, then you will find it comes naturally after a while.Nobody expects you to become a wild party animal.That is not you! A little Human interaction however is healthy. 'No man is an Island', remember!

Answer 5

You are introverted. Many people are. It doesn't mean you are reclusive it just means you may find a solitary activity more refreshing and stimulating than a very social one.

Answer 6

whatever your ok with, but obvisouly you do care or you wouldn't be asking

Answer 7

This is your life, whatever makes you happy. Although it surprises me there aren't more people wanting to shy away from society given how c**p it  is... take a look at my last question.

Answer 8

No you are not a recluse.  Some people prefer to keep their own company, as long as you do get out on occasions for work etc.

Answer 9

I don't think there is anything wrong with that. My boyfriend is always working at night and I'm not into going out to bars with my single girlfriends, I love to go to the mall and out to eat by myself, reading by the fire. As long as you are comfortable with it then there is no problem. If it starts to bother you then get out there, but right now do what makes you feel comfortable.