I don't like my engagement ring!

Question

Hi everybody, my boyfriend inveted my to Paris where he proposed a couple of weeks agao. I was thrilled and very happy but somehow never really liked my ring. It's whitegold and I always wanted a platinum ring. I told everyone I really like it but now that I had a look on other rings I'm not happy with my one at all anymore. Unfortunately he bought the ring in Amsterdam and there is no chance to get it changed :-(

what should I do? ..... help !

Answer 1

you can always sell it for another but white gold and platnium look the same and platnium is just more expensive and a bit lighter.  

Answer 2

Give it back so he can give it to someone who can appreciate it and buy that platinum ring you've been wanting.

Or have another guy who can buy you that kind of ring you want.

If you can't appreciate this gift he gave you, what made you think you'll do his future gifts?

Poor guy. He's probably thumping his chest thinking he'd done well unaware that his "Jane" is pouting dreaming of something else.

Then again this is just my honest opinion. You'll probably get better and soothing words from other people.

Enjoy your engaged life.

Answer 3

i think i'm only reiterating what other people have already said but it really isn't about the ring. you could be happily married for 50 years and it's not because you got the ring of your dreams. it's becuase you got the man of your dreams--someone who loves and respects you. don't start off your engagement and subsequent marriage having resentment over something as trivial as a piece of jewelry. there are much more importnat things to be concerned about.

that being said, i'm sure that your fiance is aware that you wanted a platinum ring but decided to split the cost by getting a white gold band and taking you to paris on a romantic vacation. if it's really that important to you, talk to him about it. you guys can shop for another setting or a whole new ring in general. keep in mind that having this discussion may cause your fiance to feel that you aren't really appreciative of his effort.

Answer 4

Learn to love it and stop whining. You can always get it upgraded when you celebrate your 10th wedding anniversary.

Answer 5

if you really love him, you'll learn to love the ring, and just be thanked that he proposed! :-) good luck to the both of you(-:

Answer 6

You never said whether you thought the ring was pretty and you just didn't like the metal, or whether you just don't like it at all...

You can always buy a new setting for your existing diamonds, but really, he took you to PARIS to propose! He bought you a white gold ring which, as long as you keep it polished will look enough like platinum to get you by, and you're unhappy?

Are the diamonds of poor quality, or not the cut that you wanted? The metal can be fixed, but don't forget how much more expensive platinum is. After he spent so much on Paris and the ring, maybe you could buy the setting in platinum yourself...

Answer 7

I didn't like my engagement ring either.  It was to the point where I was embarrased to show people so I had to tell him.  He was understanding and traded it in for another but since yours was purchased in Amsterdam sell it on Craigslist or to someone them go with your boyfriend to pick out your own ring.

Answer 8

Not a lot you can do. It's a risk that is always taken with gifts. I'm not that fond of mine either. But really, what does it matter? How did he react when you said that you weren't that fond of the style? It might be nice of you to wear it anyhow sometimes for his sake. I'm not sure what you want to do though. You have a ring you don't like. What do you do with clothes you don't like? Coming here and whining about it makes it sound like you want a replacement ring. Please specify what exactly the problem is so we don't think something like that.

Answer 9

Go swimming with him and ask him to hang on to it so you don't lose it...he'll lose it for sure and then he'll have to buy you another one (cause it'll all be his fault!).

Or, you could just not worry about it because it's an engagement ring rather than a wedding ring.

Edit: Who the heck gives thumbs-down on a question like this? Jeez! Get off the computer, grab a twinkie or a dum-dum and watch "Days of our lives" or something you freaks!

Answer 10

Take it to a jeweler and exchange (upgrade) it to a platinum setting one, then pay for the difference. Platinum rings are a lot of money...

I'm sorry you didn't get what you wanted, but isn't your man worth more than a piece of jewelry?

I wanted white gold... I even told him that's what I preffered, because I never wore anything in yellow gold. I got the most beautiful, humongous solitaire ring, but it was in YELLOW gold! I was a little disappointed, but then he said the most romantic thing ever: "I know you wanted white gold, but the reason I picked this one is because the moment I saw it, it reminded me of you; simple, elagant and beautiful. And none of the other rings matched this one in quality, and you deserve the best."

After a speech like that, I fell in love with the ring (and with him all over again!)

The thing is, we almost never get what we want, but we always get what we need, and for me that was so much better: I got my soulmate!

Answer 11

It can change when you get married.... then get the ring you love.

I do have to say that if you got proposed in Paris with a ring bought in Germany...welll you shouldn't be complaining that much. Love is all that matter and I think what you just experienced is a proposal lots of people would die for.

Enjoy the engagement and the the ring is just a symbol. Congratulations.

Answer 12

Maybe he has bad taste. But your marriage shouldn't be about a ugly engagement ring. It should just be about love. If you really love him, then it wouldn't matter.  

Answer 13

Well. Honestly, DONT EVER compare your ring to others.

How much do you hate it? What does it look like?

You should be happy with the ring, because your fiance spent time getting you a ring. And from Amsterdam? How cool is that. No one else can say their ring is from Amsterdam.

I want to see a picture.

Answer 14

you wear it and be happy because he took the time and effort to choose it for you out of love and out of respect for him you should act happy after all you are marring him not the ring and congratulation on you engagement  

Answer 15

You should talk to him about it. You should have looked at all your options before choosing one...that is if you went to pick it out. If you did not, then it was your boyfriend's fault because you should have helped pick it out because you would be the one wearing it. My boyfriend and I went and picked out my ring. He wanted to make sure that I liked it and that I would actually wear it.

Answer 16

don't worry about materialistic things.. if he picked it out, that should mean something to you..even if it is ugly.. if you really want to marry him, like the ring he gave you because it meant something to him when he decided to buy it for you

Answer 17

There really isn't much a difference between platinum and white gold. Just durability and price. Heck, you could even tell people it's platinum and they wouldn't be the wiser. I would understand not liking the design or stone but I've never really heard someone say they where upset by the metal. Unless they got yellow gold and wanted white gold. If you really feel strong about this you need to talk to your fiance. He should understand, after all you are marrying this man so you should be able to tell him how you feel. Maybe you can take out the stones and have it set in platinum or sell the ring and choose a new one.

Answer 18

Love him and love the ring because you love him so much.  If you're that upset over a ring that suppose to  symbolize your love, then maybe you aren't really right for each other.

Answer 19

lol.. i made my husband buy me a new one...:P I hated it it was some cheesy *** heart ring...but I feel terrible for doing it because he later explained the two hearts were for me and him and blah blah blah... I never should have done it. It's just a ring.

Answer 20

That is a little selfess of you. platinum is much more expensive than whitegold. If you want the different metal than get the stones set in the platinum and you will see the expense.  

Answer 21

i think you should grow up (just a suggestion) it's not about what the ring looks like or how much it cost, it's about what it represents.  think about it...

Answer 22

Are you more excited about the engagement ring and the wedding than the marriage itself? If so, then I don't think you're ready for it. Why is it really matter to have a platinum ring? You can still have platinum wedding ring if you really insist. But honestly, white gold and platinum looks pretty much the same. You can always polish it again when the white gold turned yellowish in few years, and it will be just as new. I really think you should just focus on your fiance and the marriage itself and not about the ring, the dress, and the big wedding.

Answer 23

Does your fiancee know that you don't like the ring as much anymore?  Platinum rings are going to be MUCH more expensive than other rings, so that might be a reason why he went with whitegold. You only have half of the picture.  You and your fiancee can go shopping for wedding bands and you can find the one that compliments your engagement ring the best.  

Answer 24

you should just be happy instead of being selfish...

ive been dating my boyfriend for 4 years and he hasn't purposed.

  and there's people that i know that have been dating their beau for an even longer time and would love to get a ring...at this point i would except a string....be happy

Answer 25

I can understand not liking the style of a particular ring, but white gold and platinum look basically the same, with the difference that platinum is simply fancier and more expensive. Maybe platinum was not affordable.  I think you'll have to learn to like it.  

Answer 26

In this situation I think you might just have to bite the bullet and wait until the wedding then pick out your own wedding ring!  Even with local jewelry stores policies against returning rings etc are strongly enforced.  If a ring was custom made for some other girl then returned, I wouldn't be happy at all if my man purchased it for me.  Also make your fiance happy and appreciate the gesture that you two are in love and going to spend the rest of your lives together rather than dwell on an ugly little ring... (Also, I'm sure its a great piece but you are disappointed because its not what you had originally had in mind).  Well since you two are getting married here is a small warning, most men have pretty lame taste when coming to decorating a home, but seeing as you two are sharing a home he may want a room to himself that he can decorate on his own... All I can suggest is talk about it first, or get a lock on the door to his private lair!    

Answer 27

You can always have the stone reset into a new platinum setting. Or, you can have a replica platinum ring made.

Honestly, there isn't a ton of difference in the look and feel between white gold and platinum. Platinum is SIGNIFICANTLY more expensive than white gold and with gold prices being record high these days, he might've only been able to afford the white gold.

If you really don't like it, do something about it. Otherwise, it's a gift that he has given you. Accept it and appreciate it.  

Answer 28

well

its the engagement ring

and i think you should deal with it.

he did this because he loved you

he scarfed up a lot of money for that ring

you have to appreciate it at least.

Answer 29

do you only not like it because its white gold and not platinum? you should be happy that he loves you enough to propose not that the ring isn't up to your standards.

Answer 30

well...

don't hurt the guy's feelings ya kno.

i guess u just gotta deal widdit.

cuz if u change it,

you know,

after he got it for u n everything,

u don't like it...

he'll be like...

crushed?

=*(

Answer 31

I'll ask you a question. What is more important to you? A ring is just a ring, after all. He took you to Paris, he proposed and you are complaining about the ring?

Perhaps, after taking you to Paris he couldn't afford to buy a platinum ring. The ring is a 'symbol' of your love and commitment and he took the time and effort to select something he thought and hoped you would appreciate. He would, I suspect, be very hurt to know that you are dissatisfied with his love token to you in spite of the time, effort and thought he had put into making it a special occassion for you.

Perhaps you are more worried about the value of 'things' than the value of love.