I don't remember having s*x (with my husband)!?

Question

The other night I took some valium which my husband had given me and went to bed. I thought I'd gone to sleep. When I woke in the morning, I wasn't wearing any knickers and could tell that I had had s*x. I really don't have any recollection of this at all, yet my husband's comments were "yeah it was great". I'm really upset by this, even though he's my husband, I feel violated as I didn't consent to this. Our relationship isn't great at the moment and I really don't know what to do. I'm already suffering from depression and this just really pushes me further along.

Answer 1

i think you should tell him this, he has taken your trust now, how rude of him, i suggest seeing a doc about your depression it really helped me..keep smiling hey good luck  

Answer 2

get over it, it happened

You sleep in the same bed, you are bound to have some contact

Answer 3

I'd say let it go   he is your husband.   May be too   stay away from valuim then

Answer 4

if you can't remember, then you can't blame your husband for it. perhaps your body responded and his body responded and so you both had s*x (you both wanted it). if you can't remember, you can't know you didn't consent, so you can't say he violated your body. valium can block your memory. in the future, you'd better lay off the valium (or take a really small dose) or sleep alone in a locked room.

Answer 5

you may have done it in your sleep and said yes without realising. unless your husband is not trusting and drugged you.

Answer 6

Lol, this happened to my friend too, she had a little too much to drink and apparantly had s*x with her husband but never remembered a thing in the morning.

She was so apologetic to him and he said she was talking to him and everything and she felt bad about the whole thing.

If this man is your husband, why are you making such a big deal of things  he loves you and you love him so stop worrying about things.

If you feel violated then sorry I dont know what to say, respect is one thing but love is another.

Answer 7

Call the police and file a report.

Answer 8

This isn't very good is it. Tell him if it happens again then he'd better

sleep with one eye open 'cause you will chop his d**k off while he's asleep.

Answer 9

Your husband has NO right to do that, do you know rape is MOST COMMON with MARRIAGE?

If you didn't consent, that is what it is.

He should never ever have done that and you don't have to tolerate that.

Oh and disappointing that women on here are saying what he did was ok cause he's your husband, I really thought our society had moved on from the 1900's when women were mere property but obviously Im sadly mistaken.

Raping your own spouse is illegal and if I was in your situation I would leave that man as I would never trust him again, ever.

Good luck

Answer 10

wow..Even if u did "consent" to this ..u were clearly out of it. And he would be stupid not to realize this. I cant see u being very awake and acting normal on Valium.. so obviously he could tell u were out of it and took advantage of u. That is rape in my mind. I don't care if he is your husband.. just cuz ur married to someone doens't mean they have the right to do whatever they like to your body..it is YOURS. Don't listen to these other ppl that are saying its fine cuz its your husband, that is ridiculous. I would say talk to him and tell him how depressed u are already, and how this made u feel. And if u aren't already seeing someone about your depression I would do that, and ask for his support during this hard time.

Good luck with everything! :)

Answer 11

You really need to talk to him about this. I would feel violated too if my husband did that to me. I was in a very similar situation. I took a sleeping pill and didn't realize how fast the effect would be. My husband got worried and the pharmacist (friend) told him to put me to bed and take advantage of me. He was of course kidding, but the thought offended me. However, it's possible that you were not completely zonked and that he thought you were participating. You might just be so groggy you can't remember it. Either way you need to tell him that you feel violated and it's really upsetting you so it doesn't fester. It might just be a big misunderstanding.

Answer 12

Valium really is a fantastic drug....

Answer 13

by your own words you are depressed so first and foremost you must seek medical advice and support. you are not strong enough to fight this incident with your husband which is why he took advantage. Don't take un-prescribed medication,  this is bad and could have been a lot worse if you had side effects. Be strong take control of your own life seek impartial professional advice.  Good Luck

Answer 14

This constitutes rape my girl. But i think if you mentioned this to him, given the way he treated you, he'll won't re-act nicely. If this is the level your husband will stoop i would trade him in and get some respect. Or phone the police.

Answer 15

Honey, you probably DID consent at the time - Valium works like a knock out drop. Having said that, he was wrong to take advantage of you at a time like that.  

Answer 16

do not take any more valium.  He took advantage of you.  Right now i wouldn't do anything.  Just know that he will try again when you are inebriated.  Don't give him the chance.  Go see a doctor for your depression.  If your husband does not support you go to a lawyer.

Answer 17

tell him if he does it again without your consent you'll file rape charges against him.

Answer 18

who cares. he's ur HUSBAND, not a stranger. deal w/ it.  my

bf does that sometimes when im really drunk. i dont

remember except i dont care since i probably woulda liked it

anyways... lol im expecting thumb down from u guys cuz "they

really matter" lol

Answer 19

Oh my gosh! You poor thing! That sounds awful! You will have no way of knowing whether you consented to it or whether you were just out of it and he took advantage, I really, really recommend 1. Having a chat with your husband explain to him how you feel and that you need his utmost support to get over this depression and 2. Speak to your doctor, ask if it is usual for valium to knock you out and if so, whether you would be in a position to consent to something or make a decision. Good luck and God bless.  

Answer 20

It doesn't matter if it is ur husband or not if you did not consent then it is rape, and if u are having bad feelings about this then that should reaffirm that its wrong!

don't listen to people that tell u otherwise, husbands can rape wives.. just because you marry someone does not licence ur body to them 24/7!

some of the previous answers are shocking, if i were you id have stern words and probably make him sleep somewhere else, if not leave him!

Answer 21

Don't sweat it!  No biggie:)  Unless there is video footage..................

Answer 22

The point that some responders are missing is that there is such a thing, at least in UK law, as rape within marriage. Marriage does no longer assume that a man has conjugal rights and the woman has to put up and shut up.

Answer 23

i dont at his time know how to answer this , but as a man and husband of 14 years, i can understand how you feel. if you want to talk im here ...no to get in your buisiness ..

Answer 24

wow ! sweetie i am sorry to heard about what happened ! you should tell your husband how you feel about him giving you something to drink and then not to remember nothing! this is so weird ! hoping that you find an answer to happened to you and that you feel better~

xoxo

~dominican86~