I don't think i thought this out as good as i could have?

Question

This is what happened, me and my fiance have a lot of differences and the major one being that I wanted to have a big wedding for my big family and wanted to get married in a church (i'm christian), my fiance wanted to get eloped because he hates being center of attention and he thought it would be more romantic. So we decided...what the hey, why not do both?

So we got eloped a few months back and it was just as romantic and wonderful and we imagined it would be, now we're planning out the wedding (only a small handful of people know we got eloped) and we're having trouble figuring out where we go from here.

Should we invite the people that know that we got eloped? Won't it be like a dumb mock wedding to them?

Should we still have bachelorette/ bachelor parties?

I think i might be over thinking this whole thing but i would really like some input. Getting eloped was an awesome decision for us, i'm just trying to get best of both worlds

Answer 1

Well if you are already married then you cant do it again, all you can have is a Church blessing and the service is a lot different to a normal religious ceremony.

For instance, the vows are not said again and you cant use the same rings but you could get an eternity/signet ring and have those blessed and you can receive them instead of the wedding rings.

I would invite everyone, even the people that knew you eloped as you wont be able to hide the fact that you are just having a blessing and not a proper marriage service.

Once again I am sorry but if you are married in the eyes of the law then you cant do it again.

Answer 2

Yes, you should invite the friends who know you eloped. They are your friends and you want to share this important day with them, right? The elopement doesn't make the church wedding less real. (or else, why are you doing it??)

Whether you have bachelorette/ bachelor parties is completely up to the two of you.Do either of you feel it would violate the commitment you made to each other already? If not, have fun then.

Answer 3

I would definately invite the people who know you're already married. They're your friend and will want to be a part of everything. There is no such thing as a mock wedding. Since you're already married, you might have to have them bless your marriage though. Or maybe just re-new your vowels.

Answer 4

Yes, it will be like a dumb mock wedding to your guests. And it would be wrong to lie and pretend like you didnt already get married, in case you are considering that. Not to mention its impossible to lie to the officiant at the church, since there wont be a license for him/her to sign.

Heres the thing: You cant have it both ways. Many people want the best of both worlds, but you have to choose one wedding, and leave it at that. You cant have your cake and eat it too!

You already had a wedding. Dont do a do-over. Instead, host a party celebrating your elopement.  

Answer 5

You can have your marriage blessed at church and than a reception after. I wouldn't make  a huge party but something for close friends a relatives. No bachelorette or bachelor parties , that is kinda of after the fact.

Answer 6

Well, congrats - you can call him your husband now!

You can't really have everything now. You are right about how people will perceive it - you are already married! You made your choice, there are some consequences.

If you want just plan a simple reception for family and close friends. Since you are married, no showers or bach. parties (you aren't single anymore).

For those invited to the reception, make sure you put "No gifts, please" on the invitation, since those people were not at the ceremony.

Good luck!