I don't doubt that my family loves me, but I doubt they like me. I'm the oldest in my generation, but I frequently get treated as a total outsider. They never ask my advice on anything, but always ask what the younger ones think. They frequently make fun of the fact that I'm slow at math (I know it, I'm not stupid about it, but it takes me longer) and always hear, "oh, there's the college graduate" in a sarcastic tone when I can't get a math question done quickly (I was an English major anyways).
I don't play up my intelligence, but I do say a lot of smart things and I always stay on top of current issues. But they laugh at me because I refuse to follow celebrity news and they say I'm just trying to be smart. But then my younger cousin could come behind me and say, "Catholicism has been a problem since BEFORE Jesus was born" and they think he's just walked on water, and yes, he DID say that.
I recently broke-up with my boyfriend (I'm g*y and I'm sure that has something to do with it) and I've had a rough go at it. We weren't together all that long (a year), but I really was in love with him. On the day that it happened I cried a little bit and I heard from them, on the day it happened, "oh get over it." But my other cousin who only dated her boyfriend for 3 months was treated like she was going to fall apart.
Then there's the episode where I got really drunk, with alcohol poisoning, for the first time in my life. It really wasn't my fault, because I got drunk, but they kept shoving drinks at me and there's a point when you're too drunk to decide you've had too much. I got sick that night and admitted it was stupid and I haven't had a drop since then. That was two months ago. Well I've been making some great personal accomplishments recently and when I try and talk about those, they always bring up the night I got alcohol poisoning, like it's the only thing that I've ever done.
I know I'm no angel, but I've always treated my family with respect and love. But why is it that they act like I'm a total failure and joke when I'm not. It is really beginning to get to me and I have tried to talk to them, but when I do they say, literally, "shut up." I've even tried talking by admitting my faults first, but it's always the same response to shut up.
It seems everything I do is ridiculed, from the way I dress, to my hair (I'm balding at 24, hardly my fault) and down to the way I talk. I wish I could just say I'm being silly and it really isn't this way, but a few of my friends have noticed and one time my cousin's girlfriend even said something to them about the way they treated me.
Do you think I'm being stupid in thinking they don't like me?
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