I don't understand Japanese men...!?

Question

Basically, I've never been interested in Japanese culture... but I was approached by a Japanese man; he was cute so I thought why the h**l not. Anyway... I've noticed a lot of things that sort of bother me. I know that Japanese men are known for being reticent, but geez! It's like I have no idea wth is going on!

Obviously he is quiet... but so am I. I think he talks more than I do tbqh. Anyway he was so for me visiting him in Japan since he has to go back for school and IDK. I maybe I would visit but I am definitely not living there. He would hang out with me all the time, etc. But then we had s*x... weird. He was still acting the same, but he went out to a huge gathering with his friends and he suddenly became EXTREMELY quiet and disconnected. I really don't get it... Maybe his friends hate me because he was always late to their hanging outs because he was with me? I don't know. Like I said, I don't know squat about Japanese culture. So I sorta stopped talking to him for two weeks and all of the sudden he is like: "why were you hiding from me?" and I thought that he was hiding from ME. I'm so freaking confused. And I told him that I thought he used me for s*x and he was like "why would you think that?" but then he is still VERY silent after all of this and I don't know. And I asked him will I be able to see him before he leaves and he tells me "I don't know". Wow. Wow wow wow. I don't get it. I don't get him. I don't get anything.

Answer 1

I agree with the first poster.

Please do not generalize about all Japanese men.

I must say that in my particular relationship with

one, that he was very, very reserved.  I cannot

say that this is true of all the men, though I

have heard things.

Answer 2

sit him down and have a convo face to face. explain the behaviour that you don't understand and see what he has to say about it. maybe it is to do with culture. i have heard that japanese men can tend to be reserved with their feelings

edit: he obv likes you and if you like him you should work it out. that is what relationships are all about. i wish you all the best

Answer 3

I think you two are in the part of your relationship, which you are not sure where it is heading.

If you want to be with him, you might have to become interested in Japanese culture... not because it's important to you, but because it's important to him. Surely, it's everything he knows and was raised with... it's probably just as hard for him to understand American culture.

You two need to help each other through the cultural barriers. Start by talking to him about your feelings, and tell him.. you want to *really* work this out.

Japanese men are very reserved, yes, but they are still human. As long as he is a good man, you should be able to converse about the things happening between you and him... otherwise, perhaps he just simply isn't "the one".

I think, because of the reserve Japanese men have.. they can be/feel awkward. Partially because of his background, but also because he is a MAN... lol... he might put his foot in his mouth, and do or say things that he shouldn't have. I think you two have a chance... try it :)

Answer 4

The problem is you not him. You assumed he was using you for s*x. East Asians are not a people of loose morals. In fact they have the lowest rates pre marital s*x