I don't understand...?

Question

My grandma is an extremely level-headed person who has always and I mean ALWAYS been there for me when my mom just has not. Now my mom is doing drugs because of my mom's new roommate so my grandma asked my moms roommate why she was bringing that into their home because my little sister lives there and they buttered my grandma all up and both told them lies about me how I was the one doing drugs! Now my grandma, one of my best friends doesn't even believe or trust me anymore because of my cold hearted mother. She took me out for breakfast this morning and I tried talking to her and she just can't get past the fact that her precious daughter is into drugs. So I'm moving my sister out of my mom's and in with me and my grandma blames it all on my little sister. If I remember correctly it's the PARENTS that influence the children and are the reason they are the way they are right? So in that case my sister is only the way she is because my insane mother made her that way, but my grandma swears up and down that my mom has tried all she could until she nearly went insane and now she just ignores her and has all of her druggie friends over all the time and that's why I moved my sister out. I was mad at first but now what if my grandma is right? My sister can't go back to my moms because my mom has never been more relieved that she's gone, she's living "the life" now. My mom's birthday is tomorrow and I told my grandma that I don't think that i'm going to go and she sounded so offended. So anyways, if you didn't understand any of that he's my issue. I just took my sister into my home. She has NO discipline, she thinks the world revolves around her, she doesn't take no for an answer, she is emotionally and physically abusive, she manipulates ALL and I mean ALL of her friends and family and thinks she's just soo sneaky and can get away with it. The point is I don't want to end up like my mom. What should I do? I need to know how to calm her down without p.issing her off and making matters worse. Other mom's or people with similar experiences would be appreciated. Thanks ahead of time!!

Answer 1

You become a control freak to your sister, get a court ordered guardianship of her and tell them you want your mom to take a drug test.You make sure your sister is with someone you can trust to keep her in line when you cannot be with her like an older brother or uncle maybe?

Call your grandmother and tell her you will pay for the drug test and you AND your mother AND her room mate will all atke it and she will SEE who is and who is NOT doing drugs.

If your grandma won't go along with this, then tell her it is because she is too WEAK to face the truth about her daughter and you are not going to be blamed for your mother's doings any longer.

Answer 2

Get an attorney.  If you can get some kind of legal custody of your sister then you can get her the mental help she needs.  You need it too.  by getting help it will help you to understand your feelings and help you to find ways to deal with the issues that will come.  My own daughter seemed to think the world was meant to worship the ground she walked on but a lot of tough love and a few years of painful work and I actually have a reasonably mature 15 year old now that living with is no longer so painful.

Don't try to do it your self tho you do need help.  Talk with child services.  They may be able to help you get legal custody.  I don't know your ages but you need to talk with protection services or what ever they are called in your area that deal with negligent and abusive parents.  Get the professional help you need and save your sister.  Don't let any of them convince you that you are no good or that you are wrong. Hold your head up high and consider your self a survivor.

good luck  be strong.

Answer 3

this  is the place for social services to get her the mental help she needs

Answer 4

First of all, I'm a mom. I am so sorry for the way things have gone for you. I hope that I am a good mother and I always worry about that. I try. But your mom is not well. She is in need of help with the drugs and sadly, there are many people out here in this world that have those problems. I feel kind of angry at mothers who do not put their children first. I have sacrificed my whole life for my children so I don't understand either. I am also sorry about the way your sister is. Please try to get some help either through your county or call around and see if you can get help for your sister somewhere. It sounds like you call need counseling but I think you are the only one who is likely to "want" to make a change. You are a good person, my dear.  Really!  I think that you are a wonderful and loving person and no matter what anyone else says to you...you are good in your heart. If you were the type of person who didn't care, then you would not have come here and asked for help. It is very confusing to me so I know it must be for you too. I am just so sorry that you have to live like this, but remember to love yourself first. You must do for yourself first. I hope you understand this because I have let other people in my family take advantage of me for many years. Now, I am sick with a chronic illness and I think they are finally coming around and wanting to help me a bit. So, you see, sometimes, just "time" alone will help. Later down the road there will be a time when those people who have hurt you will think and regret what they have done. That is a guarantee. I know it happens because I am in my 40s and I've seen much through the years and know that to be true. Love yourself. Take care of yourself. And if the others don't want to do the right things....then you are just going to have to do what makes you feel safe and happy. This is very important. I hope they all come around soon for you. But in the meantime, just know that I read your post and I truly care. I am a mom and not perfect. Who is? But I wish I could tell you things to do to fix the situation and I can't. I just don't know, but I care about your problem with your mom, grandma, and sister and I will say a little prayer for you all so that the most important thing can come into your life......LOVE.