I don't understand this about myself!?

Question

Why do I make excuses not to be with people or to go and do something. I actually avoid talking to my friends (don't sign on to AIM or answer my phone) because I dont want to be invited to do something. Why do I do this? I dont want to change because I really value my time alone, but what can I do to let people know this without sounding rude?

Answer 1

Hey, man, thanks for asking.  But I don't want to go this time.  Usually works for me

Answer 2

Because your experience with them is unsatisfying and if there is no positive re-enforcement for your wanting to meet or there is no valuable purpose in seeing them then the logical thing to do is find other activities which satisfy your needs, whatever needs nag you now.

'Diagram of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, represented as a pyramid with more primitive needs at the bottom.

The base of the pyramid is formed by the physiological needs, including the biological requirements for food, water, air, and sleep.

Once the physiological needs are met, an individual can concentrate on the second level, the need for safety and security. Included here are the needs for structure, order, security, and predictability.

The third level is the need for love and belonging. Included here are the needs for friends and companions, a supportive family, identification with a group, and an intimate relationship.

The fourth level is the esteem needs. This group of needs requires both recognition from other people that results in feelings of prestige, acceptance, and status, and self-esteem that results in feelings of adequacy, competence, and confidence. Lack of satisfaction of the esteem needs results in discouragement and feelings of inferiority.

Finally, self-actualization sits at the apex of the original pyramid.'

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Mas...

Answer 3

Ignorance...

Answer 4

omg i used to do the same thing! i felt bad everyone always thought I was a flake or didnt like them. I finally just starte telling them thr truth, hey Im a home body, if you wanna hang out thats cool but a lot of the time I just like to chill by myself. or think about what you like to do by yurself, is it something others coul be enjoying with you? i like to be outdoors relaxing at the river or walking in the parks. I play disc golf, its very relaxing but these are all things that a good mellow friend could do with me. ask them to do the things you want to do sometimes, that way you dont lose your friends in the process of keeping your alone time.

hope it helps.

byby  

Answer 5

You enjoy your solitude and you're shy.

Answer 6

You can just tell them that you want some alone time and that you'll go out with them on the weekend.

Answer 7

Just means you're ok being by yourself. I'm like that- I think the media has hyped up the fact that you are not normal if you don't go out every night or have 5 million friends. Personally, I'd rather do something more creative and (to me)more exciting then go clubbing or to a party.

I hate clingy people and that's another thing our society expects us to be- clingy (call all the time, text me, im me, email me blahblahblah)

Answer 8

I'm the same way most of the time. But I mainly have acquaintances. Just tell them the truth. Tell them you're not interested in going out and being around people.  

Answer 9

Why do you do this: because you don't want to go.

What should you do: tell your friends that you want to be alone.

If I had an apple, but didn't want the apple ... why do I have the apple? Why wouldn't I get rid of the apple?? I'm not saying that you should get rid of your friends ... but if you don't want to hang out with them .. or even talk to them ... I'd have to evaluate whether I really wanted to be friends with this person! Which is less horrible than it sounds .. it just means that you are a really great person, and you prefer your own company to somebody elses.

Answer 10

ahhh! this a tough one.

First of all I guess you need to ask yourself why is it that you don't want to talk to your friends.

Is it because you fear they may ask you something? Maybe you have self-esteem problems and want to avoid them because your self esteem hurts?

I don't know, I'm just guessing because the possibilities can be many. Maybe you are just growing up and want different type of friends.

Do whatever feels best and be free.

Answer 11

well theres a few reasons for this.. you havent found anyone you want to be around for a long amount of time. and second your addicted to masterbastion

Answer 12

you could just tell them that you like your solitude..and that you would prefer to initiate the hanging out instead of being invited