I don't want a 3rd baby am I being selfish?

Question

My husband and I talked and talked about having a third baby. We decided we would. Now I have cold feet. We have 2 daughters who r 5 and 2.5. I've devoted most of my time to being a mum - I was only 18 when I had my first daughter. But now I think, we're financially secure, I'm in a part time job that I just love, the girls are at an age where we can go out without worrying about nappy bags, nappies, bottles etc.

More importantly, I feel like a women again, I feel like me again. I'm back to pre pregnancy size, I can were nice clothes again, I can go out on occasion now. It's taken me along time to get to this point.

I know that kind of sounds a little jumbled, but I'm sure if you've had a child you understand that feeling where you all but lose ur identity...

Answer 1

I think if either of you aren't ready for another child then you shouldn't have one at this time.  It wouldn't be fair to the child.  Good luck!

Answer 2

I dont think that you are being selfish. Sometimes...Accually often people change what they want, there is nothing that you can do to control that. I dont see a problem with being happy with the life that you have, especially if you worked very hard for it. There are many people who may feel like they never get that. I would just talk to your husband and tell him at this point, you are happy with what your family is consisted of now, and you dont want a 3rd child. Maybe if you explain why, he will realize that maybe he doesnt want another either.  

Answer 3

Totally understand that. Maybe now is just not the time.

My boys are 14 & 11 I was loosing weight & feeling great! They can be left alone and all that. Now I'm counting the weeks til I am changing diapers again ... lol  

Answer 4

i really think you should wait another year or two becuase since you had them so young you dont want to feel trapped (  im not saying your a bad mom or anything)its just u need some time to be u  

Answer 5

no if ur husband wants one so bad then HE need to carry the baby

Answer 6

i completly understand i am totally up to havin a third child i just dont want to lose myself again. i still havent gotten too my pre weight but am workin on it. i hopeyou make the choice that is right for you. cuz of you are goin to have another baby you have to consider yourself too. if you think that you might just a little bit be upset about another baby than its not right for you. but i can understand where your husband is coming from he might want a boy. No you are not bein selfish. make a decison for yourself too. speak up to your husband he should understand. anyways goodluck with your choice and god bless

Answer 7

Definitely don't have another one unless YOU really want one. If you didn't already have 2 healthy daughters then I'd say consider it for your husband. Of course, if you went through with having another you'd love them as much as the others, but there would be some resentment about giving up your body, time, energy, possibly job again. I only have one baby girl who is one right now, and so many people are pressuring me into thinking I need another baby already. Thankfully, my husband is on board with whatever I decide. I had a horrible pregnancy and I love my daughter to death, but I'm glad the little baby stage is over. I'm starting to reclaim my identity as you say, and I can't see having another baby right now, or maybe at all.  

Answer 8

I think you should stick with two. The planet is becoming over-populated and having a third child won't help :)

Answer 9

it's not selfish to want a little time to be yourself even after you've decided to have another child i would say keep saving and then when you are ready to devote so much of your life to the care of another infant then you can have another one. you still  have a few years to enjoy yourself before you start pushing the clock issue so enjoy yourself for a little while, its not selfish, its human.

Answer 10

I think that's reasonable how you might not want another baby yet or at all. I suggest you discuss it with your husband and explain all your feelings like you've said here.

Harriet

Answer 11

I don't think you are being selfish. I love my children more than anything but I am happy with just them I don't want anymore. There is nothing wrong with that,  Just explain it to your husband I'm sure he will understand. Now if the good Lord feels that I need another one then I would be fine with that but I had my tubes tied for a reason.