I don't want my 3mos old baby in daycare and just feel like crying!!?

Question

I came back to work when my baby was 2mos old. My husband took his maternity leave right before I returned to work so we didn't have to get daycare for him at such an early age. The plan was for my husband's mother to care for our baby once my husband goes back to work. Well due to an unfortunate even in the family, his mother is moving out of town. So now its beginning to look like the only alternative is daycare.

I have heard of so many horror stories of day-cares leaving babies in their cribs without any attention unless they need something, people who believe in not jumping up every time a baby cries, or worse letting a child develop a diaper rash. I want to leave work to care for our baby but I'm not sure if thats right or if we can actually afford it.

Has anyone ever had that dilema? If so, what did you do?

SERIOUS REPLYS ONLY!!

Answer 1

While my baby was young I had him with a private sitter who would be able to give more one on one attention ( she only had 2 other kids and they were in kindergarten)  when he was 2 I put him in preschool.. Just be sure to check out who ever you use... ask friends for references... be sure to ask the daycare/sitter for a reference list too.

Answer 2

Try a in home nanny where you can interview them.  

Answer 3

Wow, I wish my job would pay for daycare, that would help me so much! :)

You just need to sit down and figure out if you can afford to be a stay at home mom.  If you can, that's great.  

If not, maybe there's a family member or someone who can watch your lil one that you trust more than a daycare.  I started my son with my best friend and my mom until he was 6 months and then moved him to a church daycare.  He loves his daycare and I'm very happy with them.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

i feel for you and i faced the same problem

this is what i did

bought cloth diapers, breastfed, and depended on hand me downs and second hand clothing for my son.

i took a serious look at my lifestyle and put it into perspective.  i now buy second hand or discount store clothing.  food is bought in bulk, separated and frozen for single meals for meat.  buy sesonal fresh fruits and veggies no more boxed foods and limited canned food, make everything from scratch.  we bought a car that was used and paid it in full so we only had to pay for upkeep, insurance and gas (we bought a dodge spirit...they last forever and never need fixing).  we live in a small house and have only used furniture (except our bed).

sell what you can and buy used.  don't live out of your means and stay home with your baby.  do what you can to limit your lifestyle and ask yourself...what is more important and closet full of cloths, a shiny car and a house that could be smaller...or less "stuff" and a well raised child that is the biggest investment you can make.

daycare is really expensive...how much more would you be really making after it's paid for???  see if you can do with out that money.

Answer 5

I went through the same feeling at 5 months when I went back to work. You know what I found out. Most daycare now have cameras. I always found daycare's close to my job so I could stop in on my lunch or anytime. And I can log on at work. Now my daughter is 23 months old and I am happy I put her in daycare. Her social skills are great. She's the only child at home but she is learning to share, sing, dance and other things that helps me raise her. It will be hard hun but it will be ok. Take your time and feel the daycare's out before you decided. I would go back to 1 daycare 2 and 3 times at different times of day just to see how it was. Good Luck  

Answer 6

The decision to employ someone else to care for your child is huge -- I feel for you. I went back to work when our oldest son was 3 months old, and it was the hardest decision I ever had to make.

Have you considered alternatives to a typical daycare center? There are other options. Please know that I have nothing against daycare centers (there are many great ones out there) but that just wasn't the right choice for us.

We looked into in-home care (e.g. having a nanny or sitter come to our house), but the cost was prohibitive. However, we did find a wonderful caregiver who operates a licensed daycare from her home. She cares for a total of four children (including our son) and he LOVES it there (he's now three). He has bonded with the three other children, so it's like a play date for him each day. And the cost was actually slightly less per week than what we'd have paid for most daycares in our area.

We found our provider via word-of-mouth and visited her before I went back to work, to make certain it was a good fit for us. Most states have licensed providers listed on governmental websites, as well.

There are pros and cons to all of the options, I know. Good luck to you!

Answer 7

I have given up alot to stay at home, maybe that is what you need to do.  You don't sound ready to leave your baby and that is natural.  You can learn to go without many things,  tv, a 2nd car, lattes, a gym membership, the list goes on.  If you want to stay at home, you will find a way.

Answer 8

My husband worked days, I worked nights until my kids were old enough to be home alone after school.

Answer 9

Unfortunately you have to decide if you can even afford life with a kid in daycare.

And you have to decide if one of you want to forfeit your career to take care of the kids at home or not.

Obviously daycare comes out of your check before anything else, so examine what you'd even have left after daycare. My wife and I realized that I'd just be working to pay daycare, so I stayed at home and took care of the kids.

13 years later I find it hard to find a job when I've only been working part-time jobs whenever my wife gets home.  Thus I've never had a career.  You can imagine the cabin fever you get especially if you went to college.

All in all, it's a tossup between what you want to do and what you can afford to do.

Answer 10

Wow, I really feel what you're going through.  Leaving my daughter in daycare was the hardest thing I have ever done.  EVER.  I was able to postpone daycare until she was 7 months old... but I looked into every every possibility and I could not afford to stay home, I could not afford a private nanny, and I had concerns about family day care homes.

Ultimately I toured a couple of daycares and I found that Kids Klub and Secret Garden were the best.  I went with Kids Klub and I've been SO HAPPY with them.  They have a separate room just for infants, with a 3:1 teacher baby ratio.  My daughter absolutely loves it, she has so much fun there.  The kids are NEVER in their crib unless they are asleep, they are held and cuddled ALOT, and all the kids seem really happy.  Honestly, if I could afford to stay home I would... but in my opinion Kids Klub is the second best option.  If you are looking for a Santa Cruz daycare center for a young baby, I'd really encourage you to check it out.  If you have any more questions about Kids Klub... I'd be happy to answer them you can send me an email.

Best of luck to you.