I don't want to invite my family to my wedding?

Question

We've decided to have a really small wedding and I'm inviting my adoptive family who took me in when I was 15. I don't however wish to invite my real family. My biological mother (who I lived with until 14) says she doesn't want a son in law and that she doesn't want me to get married. My biological siblings think they knew everything about me but they really don't. I don't see myself spending much time with my biological family in the future as they put down everything I believe in (especially love and marriage) and they can never be happy for me. I don't want them at my wedding. It's small already, our guest list has been cut down to 46 people, but I don't want someone at my wedding who doesn't support marriage and doesn't believe in love. Everyone says I'm a brat and I don't care about her and I'm going to hurt the entire family, but I don't want to deal with them on my wedding day! Even if they don't say anything I'll know that they aren't happy. Am I really such a brat for wanting this?

Answer 1

If she doesn't want a son-in-law, and they don't believe in love in marriage....then it shouldn't bother them in the least that they aren't there. This is your day...you don't need to share it with people who don't want to be there, or don't understand what the day stands for. Only have the people there that matter =) Goodluck!

Answer 2

s***w'em. Be happy on your wedding and share your day with people that care about you and care about marriage. Go on with your life... some people are just bitter and negative and cannot see the good on anything. You are in love and getting married... enjoy and share with those that really support you.

Good luck

Answer 3

When I married my husband there were more then a few people there that didn't believe in our marriage or that it would even last.  Most of them were family members.  My mom was one of them.  

During the ceremony the minister said that the only ones that should be there in the Church to witness our marriage should be the ones that support us and believe in our love. Just as you put it.

If I had to do it again instead of having over 100 I would have had about 50.  

I believe you should invite who you want and close your ears to all negative remarks.  Remember this is suppose to be the happiest day of your life.  Its not about anyone but you and your fiance.  

So you hurt a few people , they will get over it.  Why should you be the one to hurt !  If they loved you they would be more supportive and you wouldn't have this problem.  They all sound very selfish to me.  Its not about them.  

Best of luck.  I hope you have the most beautiful day, beautiful wedding, wonderful reception, happiness the rest of your life and all the love your heart can hold.    

By the way hubby and I just celebrated 22 years.  And they said it wouldn't last.  

Answer 4

I think if ur biological siblings really mattered then why didn't any of them take you in? If your adoptive parents support it then you should only invite them. Its your wedding day and no negativity should be involved. If you feel as if they aren't really into your wedding, then invite the people who are proud that you're proud.

Answer 5

It's your day and you should be the one happy. But remember once done you can never go back. I would send the invite and if they dont come they dont come and if they do they do. Just tell them it's your day and all you want is to be happy, so dont start anything..  

Answer 6

No you are not a brat for not wanting to invite your biological family its your big day and you need to have the family and friends tah love and support you you dont need that negative attitude around you especially on the biggest day of your life. I f makes you feel better I did the same thing I didnt invite my Aunt and Uncle to my wedding because they act little kids and I know they would take away the attention from me on my big day you rock girl and good luck on your big day.

Answer 7

If the relationship is that bad with them then I guess you aren't being a brat.  I've always been of the mindset that unless they are going to cause real problems it probably won't hurt to invite immediate family like that.  You greet them Hello and move on, nobody says you have to spend the entire night together.  My brother and I have no relationship at all and he pretty much treats me like c**p when my HTB isn't around.  But, he's not going to make a scene and I know the drama caused by not inviting him would be way worse than having him there.

Only you can make this decision with your intended.  Just make sure that you are prepared to sacrifice these relationships completely and have them sever all ties after some serious griping and hissy fits.  Not inviting somebody as "close" as your mother is a pretty harsh snub and they aren't going to take it lightly.  If you are prepared to deal with that then cross them off the list.

Answer 8

no your not a brat...i dont want my inlaws to come to my wedding becuase they dont support us either...they think they know us better then we know ourselves..plus its not like your inviting everyone in the world but your parents...its small