I don't want to wean my 14 month old what do I do?

Question

I love breastfeeding my son. Yeah it takes up a lot of my time and I don't get much sleep, but I don't know what I would do without it. My husband doesn't want me to anymore because the baby has to sleep with us because he has to have a boob in his mouth it seems like all night. So he sleeps with us and kicks daddy when he feeds. My sister in laws think that I have done it long enough and that it is time to quit. The problem is that I am the only one who has breastfed this long in the family. They don't know how hard it is to let go. It's just not that easy. He won't take a bottle or a paci, all he wants is boob.I can't go anywhere with out him cause no one else can feed him. We can't go on dates cause he always wants the boob. My family says that I need to just let go. What do I do? I can't just stop. It's not that easy. Please help me.

Answer 1

YOU are the mother, YOU have the ability to nurse YOUR child, YOU are the primary caregiver, ultimately its is YOUR choice how your child eats and if you want to breastfeed your son, breastfeed your son...no one can tell you otherwise...there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with breastfeeding your 14 month old, ive heard people breastfeeding past two years, who cares!  thats what works for them

you are starting a very slippery slope of allowing people to tell you how to parent...DONT...it starts here, then what? they going to tell you to discipline a certain way, what hobbies to put him into?  no one but you and your hsuband have a right to have  say in the upbringing of your child...just politely say, thanks for the opinion but i dont need it, im doing just fine

put them in their place so this doesnt continue

as for problems with teeth, its a myth, the only problems that can come with the teeth are any problems or repetitiveness AFTER the permanent teeth come through...you cannot alter the permanent teeth through baby teeth...you are just going to have to watch your baby when the teeth come in cause it can hurt lol

also you dont want the sugars in the milk to damage his baby teeth so just keep them clean a few times a day and try to wean him off nighttime feedings so he doesnt sleep with the milk on his teeth...

your baby should get into a routine soon of heavier feedings leading to longer times between feedings...you can also alternate between a bottle of breastmilk at night and your breast during the day...get a cradle and put your baby beside your bed at night and you can nurse him with the bottle and he wont disturb your husband...if you want to keep him on your breast at night then just alternate sleeping arrangements...i used to sleep on the edge of the bed with the baby in the cradle beside me, i would pull her (and him) up in bed to nurse and then back into the cradle...if we fell asleep together, they would roll onto  a padded floor, in worst case scenario  (i had pillows lining the edge of the bed)...your husband can sleep on the opposite side of you, the baby doesnt have to be in between and then he is not disturbed

as for the dates, if you can wean him to taking breastmilk from a bottle at nighttime, you can give him bottles while you go on short dates...

good luck, dont give up what you love to make others happy, these are the moments you never get back

**EDIT**

just like an above post said, look at the average breastfeeding in the US versus the world...everything is rushed and thats why we dont grow up with the same morals and standards as other cultures...do what you feel is right..

and as for another poster, its not weird in the least, our culture and the way we raise our kids and live in this society is weird...,

Answer 2

You don't have to wean him now, but you can cut down...

Like, breastfeeding only before putting him to bed.

I weaned my son at 14 months (my son decided to stop by himself !) and I missed it, so I know how you feel. I think it's great that you've done it so long. I didn't have a husband to think about, but you have - and frankly, I think it's time you give a little TLC to your marriage too. Going out and sleeping alone - well that should be possible now.

I can't really understand why you have to have your son sleeping with you. If he "needs a boob in his mouth all the time", it's not for the milk... but more for the "dummie-effect".

At this age, he doesn't even need a bottle - he can drink milk from a sippy cup.

I know it's not easy, but believe me, if you cut down over a few days, it's going to be ok. Your son will adapt much faster than you. You've given him a lot already... and you won't be taking away anything now that will leave him traumatised or anything. Good luck ;-)

Answer 3

Well if it helps you to let go, you should know that children that aren't wean for too long, tend to have abnormal teeth due to the 'sucking' action that cause the teeth to 'jut out'. So if you care about your child's teeth in the future, you should stop breastfeeding now.

Also, sigmund freud (a famous psychologist) suggested that weaning is the time in an infant's life, where they realise gratification do not come whenever they want it. If you keep giving him what he wants, he may grow up to be spoilt. You just have to let it go. However, don't make a huge sudden change, as weaning is a traumatic time (believe it or not) for young children and it was suggested by research that those that had a traumatic weaning experience end up being less intelligent and having more emotional problems in the future (research on piglets).

Answer 4

I breastfed my child for 18 months so i know how comforting it can be. It sounds like your worried more about you than him..that is normal. You have to stop when you know the time is right for you, the baby and your husband. Start trying him on a sippy cup instead of a bottle..cut down on the nursing to once a day, or maybe just at night. Don't worry though the bond between the two of you is already formed and you will know when it's time for both of you to move on to the next phase...don't be afraid...my daughter started getting to the point where she would pull my shirt down in public, one day i put bandaids on my breast..when she pulled  it down i just said "all gone" and she did fine. I missed it more than she but soon i was very happy to have my breast back and so was her dad.

Answer 5

Any addiction is the result of selfishness on your part.  Quit thinking of your pleasure and think about what it is doing to your marriage, and the development of your child.  You did not get pregnant to get your teat sucked.  That could have been done by your hubby.

Answer 6

just wean him to nap time and bedtime feedings. he doesnt need to be hanging off your boob in between, he needs to learn to be more independant, it will only take a few days and offer him a sippy cup with whole milk or 100% juice, he needs to start learning to be drinking out of a cup anyway. thats what i did with my son i just completely stopped breastfeeding now and he just turned 2. it isnt a good idea to quit cold turkey because it will stress you and your baby out, your b***s will be so engorged and you will probably get an infection, so you need to wean him slowly. keep the sleep time feedings until you are ready to quit. as for your family pressuring you to quit, it is not there decision and they need to mind there own business. if u want,  print off an artical about breastfeeding till the age of 2 and get them to read about it.

Do what you feel is right for you and your baby. good luck

Answer 7

I know a lot of mothers who breastfed their children for 14 and more months.I think that mothers should breastfeed at least a year.It has great benefits for a child.However at this time you should start to introduce maybe a cup .My daughter after a year of exclusive breastfeeding didn't want a bottle at all, she also didn't want a cup.But she liked drink from a spoon.She also  liked  make bubbles with a straw and then drinking from it.Decrease breast-feedings, offer breast only when he wants it very much.But most of time try to give him solid food and milk different way.To make transition easier for a child and you decrease breastfeeding gradually .Continue breastfeeding until he is two or SO.

This are only my suggestions every mother have different opinions on it and  may find her own best way to do it.

Good luck

Sandra's mother

Answer 8

My son was the same way and I encountered the same problem with my family. I breastfed my son 25 months and in no way do I regret it. I allowed him to self wean. Don't let anyone persuade you. Do what feels right in your heart. Keep in mind this is only temporary because your child WILL eventually self wean and you will miss it and so will your child. My son is now 5. Good luck and Follow your heart

EDIT: It does not cause dental issues like bottles do. Bottles have stiff nipples your nipples conform in your childs mouth. The world wide average for breastfeeding is 6 yrs the average breastfeeding infant in the US is 9 months. There are so many ways to teach your child that they might not get everything in life BUT at that tender age take the one thing that really comforts your child. Are you going to take a childs blankie or stuffed teddy just because he needs to learn he wont get everything in life? For pete's sake he is only 14 months!

Answer 9

I am a nursing mom.  When your child is ready to stop nursing the child will!  About the sleeping with your breast in the child's mouth is not necessary!  You can start a bed time routine and that is when you nurse the child.  For example I give my toddler a bath, we get lotioned up, put on p.j's, drink a cup of juice or nurse, brush the teeth and sing a few songs.  My baby will nurse but not all of the time.  Also in the morning the child will get up.  I will take my child to the bathroom and see if she needs to go potty and if she is dry I will put on the same one, she will nurse or I will start with breakfast.  I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 10

Some people may argue that a child will naturally tell you when they're done with breastfeeding (ie no longer desire to be feed this way) and that it's okay to continue until that happens.  some people breastfeed their child at two years old, or three, etc.

While i personally think it's weird, very very weird, i'm not you.  you'll find research on both ends in support of and against it.