I dont feel s**y, but my husband insists that i am, how do i convince myself? ?

Question

We have been together going on 6 years. I have had two babies within 2 years.i had my oldest in June, so by the time i recovered from the birth, it was winter and i was trapped inside, then i got pregnant the next June, and i had HORRIBLE sickness for 5 months, there goes the summer and fall for working out... and trapped again for winter. then of course i had her... in March, but now i just dont have the time to work out, my husband works night 2nd shift. I just want to feel good. Sometimes i do up my hair, and add a little make up to look a little nicer for when he gets home. I wonder if hes lying when he tells he im beautiful, i know im not skinny . i know im not toned. and here he is... all muscular and fabulous. I feel like ive been left in the dust. i need to spice up my bedroom life... Help?

Answer 1

I understand how you feel been there, if I had a description of you I could give you better tips on your outer appearance, but as far as inner, hold your head up you just had 2 kids your body is suppose to change you have brought in  new life... your blessed by God, love yourself and strive to be happy and content with who you see in the mirror and every day do at least 1 thing to make that person you see today, who you want to see tomorrow...Life is short sis work hard for what you want to achieve and on your way there enjoy all the moments in between.

Answer 2

What always helped me isn't what they say is really healthy but it works on the mental aspect of how you feel about yourself ...first start with either finding time to relax in a tanning bed or lay out in the sun since you have kids either lay out and let them play in the shade with some sun screen or wait until dad gets home go take 30 mins for you and relax at the tannery. When you get a bit of money ahead with kids it 's hard to get any to spend on just you but take a bit and go out buy s**y undies and nities if you feel bad about the weight try going to the gym if you have a local ymca that would be great for you since the cost can help not saying you are poor but if you have to children and he is the worker it can be hard to take money for yourself but you are worth it and you need to be happy with you if you want to make the family happy also ...if you can't get away to do this gym thing then find a good tv exercise program there is several on early morning tv that you can do at home along with the show...get some high heels also if you still have a bit of left over weight then highs will slim you somewhat also...but the main idea is to look in the mirror and see you for you and then change the things you see that you feel bad about and then add some s**y things in you life then add new ideas about what you can do to improve the bedroom but do it just don't put it off until tomorrow or think the kids need this or that just do it for you because other than being his wife and being a mother always remember that life started with you a person yourself don't lose the woman you were when you met him make sure there is a you other than what you are titled to be find a life that is for you along with the others because you deserve it and trust me the men will do just this with either hunting fishing golf etc what ever it is they enjoy along with working where they are a person to the co workers not just a husband or dad but a person with a life other than being something to someone. I hope this helps and Good Luck i am sure you are not as bad as you feel like you are it happens to us when we have babies but honestly look around you i bet you know several people you would not want to look like or trade places with no matter where we go in life or what we do there is always going to be some that we think is better prettier and all that but then there is some we are happy we don't look like too.

Answer 3

Reading this made me so sad :( You have a sweet hubby that reassures you that you're still beautiful...if you can't convinced right now that you're beautiful, at least believe that he thinks you're beautiful. Remember that women have a high (super model) standard. I do think as you said that exercise will make you feel better...it will give you a brighter outlook b/c you're doing something good for your body. When you're hubby gets up mid day, feed him something and tell him to watch the kids for 45 min while you go exercise. I'm sure he can spare 45 min for you to feel more confident in the bedroom.

Answer 4

give us some pics so we can judge for ourselves!

Answer 5

Of course he thinks you are beautiful. You are the woman that he chose to spend the rest of his life with, and besides that, you gave him the 2 greatest gifts that he could ever ask for. Invest in some lingerie, and take a nice long hot bath before he gets home, and surprise him with a night of romance. :)

Answer 6

Hey if he thinks your s**y that's awesome.  He loves you for you is what I'm betting.  

If it takes you toning up to feel as s**y as he already thinks you are then do it.  There is always a little time for working out.  Jumprope while the kids are sleeping or borrow a workout dvd from the library.  Plan healthier meals and practice portion control.  It sounds like a lot of work because it is.  Not all of us, me included, go back to our pre-pregnancy bodies without effort.

But if it helps you to feel good about yourself then why not right?!  Husband sounds like a nice enough guy and I'll bet he's willing to support you in your efforts.  He'll probably love for you to feel good about yourself.  That alone might spice up your love life!

Answer 7

You poor worn out Mom.

Two babies in as many years, you are entitled to feel a little blah.

But not for too long, we don't want to make it a habit.

So, after another hour or so of this pity party you can accept your husband's compliments.  Stop telling him you are not beautiful, do you want him to believe it?  Positive, positive.  Accept your body for where it is right now. You are not as bad as you think you are.  As women we do a real number on ourselves.  If you can take a long fast walk every morning with kids in tow.  Those little ones will build the triceps, as you push them along in that stroller.  When they are up run around the house with them, kids can really get your heart pumping.

As for your spicy bedroom, try doing it in the middle of the day as the kids nap.  Make him a special breakfast and feed it to him in bed.

s**y starts in your head.  

Now go

Do

Enjoy

Answer 8

i think u should make time for the gym, after I work out i feel super good about myself even if i didnt shed any pounds you know its all in your head,  if u think it then u will be it. so work out feel good n feel s**y and the confidence will shine right out and yea!  

Answer 9

hey gorgeous!! :)  coming from a stay at home mom as well....whos husband also works the 2nd shift..

well.. i used to be skinny, tan, etc.  i got pregnant in august, so the whole winter i just got nasty, pasty, bloated, gained 33 pounds... had dylan in april... and yeah i 'had the summer' to work out.. but who wants to work out when its hot and humid and you have a BABY that cant be exposed to the sun yet, and who fusses and demands your attention and doesnt care that youre busy trying to make yourself beautiful.. lol..

my husband also tells me that i'm gorgeous. half the time, i still have makeup on from the DAY before and he's getting home at midnight!! :)  but i guess what i'm trying to say here is... he loves you the way you are.  maybe you arent skinny or toned, but have you ever thought that your husband doesnt want someone like that?  he wants you.. as is?  he appreciates you are the mommy of his 2 gorgeous children that you worked so hard to create and to raise and take care of.  he thinks you are beautiful no matter what you look like because you are his love... and you are his wife... and you are beautiful person!!

he looks at you the SAME way as he did before you got pregnant.  and that love and that adoration for you can't change, it won't change.  your confidence is the only thing that may affect the way he looks at you.  he's telling you you're beautiful... he wants you to exert the confidence and the attitude that a beautiful person would.  once you have this confidence, your bedroom life willl be spiced - trust me.

one day, i told myself.. i'm gonna be confident and show this man of mine the best time in bed he's ever had because he deserves it and that'll make him want me even more... and it worked.. it was amazing!!

so just forget what your mind is telling you.. you ARE beautiful... act like it... and you will eventually see where your husband is coming from because you'll finally feel it! :)  good luck and congrats!  

Answer 10

You sound like you are beautiful woman, and your husband tells you, you are.  I hope you at least notice you are not being a good friend to yourself, to  your husband, and to your kids. Who wants a friend who feels ugly, and depress? Don't give that to your family.

Skinny is not beautiful and you know it.  Right now, focus on getting an hour for yourself every day. Get in the bathtub, go for a walk, but you must get some time for yourself no matter the price. Your husband will help  you and make him help you.

Then, stop eating pastas, nothing fried, no more sugar on your coffee, ice cream once in a while. Just get a nice diet and follow it.

You must start on your head that you are s**y, then act on it.  Turn into your husband's girlfriend again and fall in love with him all over again. It is not difficult so start slowly, and then own it and walk like you know you are s**y.

Answer 11

Take belly dancing classes. They help you feel s**y. :-)

Answer 12

Ask someone else.  I know that sounds silly, but your husband will tell  you anything if he is in the mood, you know that.  I have a stepper I use inside when I can't go outside.  

Answer 13

you sound like you want to make yourself better physically and mentally. The mental should come first. If he says you are beautiful then you should believe him. Do you know how many men out there dont say anything at all about their woman's looks?? Plenty.

For the physical, go to Wal-mart or Target or any place that sells dvds. Buy a 10 minute workout dvd. Its a quick workout that you will only have to do once a day and of course you can do it more if you want. You can grab a double stroller and go walking a couple of days a week with the kids. Of course you have to burn more calories than you take in or you wont see results.

Talk to your husband and simply ask him how you can spice things up. He might have some suggestions that you like!!

Answer 14

Get yourself a learn to strip dvd and you'll be amazed at how differently you feel about yourself  

Answer 15

well my man and i have been together for two years, i hate the way that my body looks, but my boyfriend says that i am s**y and i am beautiful... and so on, i always focus on the best parts about my body, one is my legs, two is my b***s, and three is my butt. i do everything and anything i can to show that i am passionate about my body too, there are times that i feel like c**p and when i look like c**p to myself. but when my man and i make love i focus on the good, not the bad and the ugly:) good luck:) i hope that i helped:)