I dont have time for my eating disorder because everybody wants so much out of me (please help)?

Question

wall first of all new school year is coming and I'm really worried if I can manage with all this extra activities ... so i have to go to 5 places + school ... AND besides that i have an eating disorder and i cant tell anyone about it because that would mean I have let somebody down. And i certanly dont wanna do that. i just feel like everybody want 100% out of me but i just cant take it anymore. and because i dont wanna let anybody down i give people more but more they get more they want and each year its getting harder and harder. its just like some circle... i hope besides all that i can be a perfect girlfriend. its like i have to be perfect because everyone expects me to be. my parents want straigth A-s from school all my teachers want me to be perfect too. and sometimes i ask myself can i please have some me time ??? and then i see these people and i cant let them down because i feel like everything depends on me ...

its like mission impossible

Answer 1

Dear Beth,

Your question sounds to me like the classic complaint of someone who is just starting a business.  The difference is that they complain of not enough money for their expenses and your problem is one of time.

I'm going to give you the same advise that I give beginning businessmen: Pay yourself first.

Where time is concerned, that means that you have to give yourself enough time to sleep enough to be healthy and to eat properly.  I'm afraid that means that one or more of the outside school activities will have to get along without you.

Ordinarily I'd suggest that you budget the time you give to each.  But from your question, I'd guess that you're the type of person who sees something that needs doing and does it.  You also impress me as a woman who needs to do almost anything her friends ask of her.

Next suggestion: Learn to say no.  That's pretty tough.  People seem to know instinctively how to manipulate others, especially those who want to please others.  It only takes a couple of eye rolls and whines; you're on the case.   So when you say no, you have to mean it.

As a former teacher, I can assure you that we do not expect our students to be perfect.  It's wonderful when a teacher finds someone who is interested in the class and wants to do well.  Have you asked your parents and teachers what they expect?  You may find that the answers surprise you.

You have already recognized the difficulty.  If you continue with the vicious circle of doing more and responding to the increased demands because you have done it, you will get sick.

As for your eating disorder, you really should bring this to the attention of your parents or a school councilor.  These are very hard to handle on your own.  There is no shame in having a problem with food and eating.  A lot of people have similar problems.  The important thing is that you have taken the first step in recognizing the fact that you do have an eating disorder.  I think that the second step for you is to ask someone for help.

Asking for help is similar to what you can do if you really can not bear to leave any of your activities.  Delegate.  Delegation is not easy.  What you must do to successfully delegate a responsibility is to find the person who can do the job.  Then you convince that person to take on the task.  Finally you check in on them every once in a while to make sure they are doing okay and to show them that you have not left them high and dry.

You can do these things.  But they won't be easy.   You and your health are more important than any extracurricular activity.

Good luck,

Tiger Toy

Answer 2

what i would do is choose about two out of the five out of school activaties that yuou like the most and quit three of them because who has time for five activaties?

school should be a prioraty......... so sometimes if you have homework to do and you dont have time for your other activaties just do the homework first............and have your doctor talk to your parents about the straight A thing........ my parents and my doctor resolved on no Cs so i have to keep a B+ or higher

with the eating disorder................you should take healthy lunches to school..........i suggest a green salad with chicken , tomato, pears, and raspberries with milk instead of sugary stuff

if you ever feel like craving candy here are some healthy alternatives:

peaches with sugar substitute

fruit gummies

apples dipped in peanut butter

Answer 3

look at your main question

"i dont have time for my eating disorder " wtf is wrong with you. you want pity because u dont have time for you eating disorder. get off you high horse and quit begging for attention.

Get some of your extra activities if your stressed out. You cant always be perfect get over it. generally people with eating disorders dont see it as an eating disorder and dont admit it. so obviously you want attention. School is only as hard as you make it. Teachers dont expect you to be perfect they want you to do your best.