I dont know how i feel about my parents adopting?

Question

Well, im 14 and my parents want to adopt my 9 year old Cousin(Aunt's son's daughter). I really dont like the idea, I dont know why. I know one reason is I want to stay an only child. Any help?

Answer 1

Please know it is ok to not feel 100% happy about your family changing. It would have to be a little unsettleing to go from an only child to sharing your parents with another. Such a move may take a little time to get used to,but I think you could really reep many rewards from it in the future. You would have the chance to help give this girl a family that could love and shape her future while recieving love from her and the gifts that go along with that love. Maybe not now ,but down the road I think you may be very happy to have a sibling to talk with and share all that life brings. You may not be the only child any longer,but you will always be the first and oldest and that's a good place to be. I wish you a happy life.

Answer 2

if my mom adopted my 9 year old girl cousin id kill myself

she doesnt shower or brush her hair

Answer 3

Talk to your parents but realize that it is more complicated then you think.  They are going to do what they ultimatly think they should and you should try to support them.  It may take some getting used to but you will probably like having a sibiling.

Answer 4

Your feelings are important to your parents, I'm sure.  Have you talked to them about this?  If not, I think you should.  Maybe the talk will help you feel better about your potential new sister, or help them understand how it would affect you.  Good luck, you can do it- talk to them.

Answer 5

You are old enough to be able to share your parents with another child.  I do understand your concern, though and I think you should tell your parents how you feel.  Your parents are doing a good  thing by giving this child a loving home and you should be very proud of them.  The love they have for you will not change because of the addition of another child.  Help them with her and be a great big sibling to her and your parents will be very proud of you.

Answer 6

Erick, our 14 yr old bio daughter felt the same way as you did.  The big question here is, what will happen to your cousin if  she doesn't come to live with you? Foster home, group home, and abusive home? Wouldn't  you rather she come and live with you, then wonder after she is gone, where she is, what has (or is) happening to her.  

    Our 14 yr old, has had her little sister (also age 9) for 1 year now, and they couldn't be closer.   Don't get me wrong, they have their moments of "get away from me, or don't look at me"  But they couldn't love each other any more if AD had been born into our family.

  I think you should give your cousin a chance, maybe she could spend a couple weekends with you.  Another thought is this....put yourself in your cousins place, wouldn't you like to know that  you would have a loving, caring, trusting home you could live in, if something happened to your parents?

   I think my bio would be very interested to chat with you, she could tell you  "The good, the bad and the ugly".

Answer 7

Talk, talk, talk to them.  Let them know how you feel and perhaps by talking with them you will understand better how you feel and can work through the issues.

Answer 8

Stop being so selfish and let your parents do what they need to do...I'm sure they have good reasons....you won't be living at home forever...

Answer 9

That means you probably have wonderful parents that have alot of love to give. They obviously have enormous love for you, so they want more kids like you. It may be hard, but try to be unselfish and consider it a gift of another human you can live and be friends with=)

Answer 10

If this wasn't a relative adoption I would tell you to talk to your parents about it, but since it is...here is my answer.

Why does this child need to be adopted?  Where would she go if she was not adopted by your parents?  Do you realize that, at 14 and 9, you guys will not be competing, in any way shape or form?  When you are starting college, she will only be 13.  This isn't going to affect your relationship with your parents.

If, however, the child has a safe, loving place to live that is not with your parents, well, then you need to bring that up with them.

However, you are 14, not 2.  You should not be worried that your parents are going to somehow replace you with your cousin, if she needs a home, well why shouldn't you guys let her in?  Obviously your parents did something right with raising you?  Right?  Unless of course, you really are so selfish, that you wouldn't mind your cousin living with strangers the rest of her life.

Answer 11

I realize it might be hard going from the only child of 14 years to have a sibling. You need to be supportive there must be some reason that your parents have decided to adopt their great niece. Are her parents deceased? Are they unable to care for her anymore?

You should also talk to your folks about your issues perhaps they can help you through them. It could take some time to adjust thats expected think of it this way in 4 years you will probably be off to college, maybe even living in dorms or your own apartment.