I dont know how to be nice?

Question

Im going to a different high school then my friends so Im gonna need to make new ones but I have a few major problems. This might sound really mean.

1) I have a thing about fat people I just dont like them

I have like a phobia I cant stand them.

2) If your what I consider ugly if I dont know you I will be nice

if you try to talk to me but I wont really be your friend.

If your ugly and I know you Ill probably give you dirty looks

and be mean to you.

4) I look at people and instantly notice everything bad about them

and judge them imediatly without even talking to them.

All these things make it really hard for me to make friends.

How can I change? Everytime I try to be nice to someone

I usually wouldnt talk to I feel really fake.

Answer 1

stop being so stuck up,for real you won't talk to someone if they don't meet you're standards.haha wow thats pathetic.

Answer 2

Number THREE I can understand because that's half of human nature and it stems from you not feeling good about yourself. You probably think you're fat and ugly so you project your self-hatred onto other people. Sucks to be you...

-Edit- While I still stand by my first answer above, I think it's good you at least recognize the problem. Then again, how can you not. Your limiting yourself from growing as a person by shutting out these people who haven't done anything to you personally. Character, Integrity, Morals and Honesty are what people value most in others when you get down to the nitty-gritty. What are people going to value in you? Your hair?

-Edit-I don't know why this question fascinates me so much, but for one, letterstoheather never made assumptions about you. As for assumptions, you allow them to be made as soon as you post a question on a public forum such as this one. It's also very easy for you to make up a life for yourself that coincides with whichever answer on here that's applicable. Your question, though it's in the right place, is very controversial and is obviously going to rub people the wrong way. It's not fair that you get defensive when you disagree with someone's answer. I really think you could benefit from family counseling, if you don't want to do that you're always welcome to e-mail me.

Answer 3

I agree with the first answer. Try to compliment people even if you don't feel like it. If you can't force yourself to fake it, then don't say anything at all. Lastly, if you feel something mean coming out, don't say it.

I also agree with what everyone else says lol, I gave you suggestions to change, it's your choice to do it or not. I especially agree with Jackie, and what you added because I used to not like myself either. And when I didn't like myself, I didn't like other people either. When I learned to love myself, I started to be nice to other people again.

So I think the most important thing for you to do is to LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF!

Answer 4

try to put your self in the other persons shoes try to get to know someone before u instantly judge them cause appearence isn't the most important it's what characteristics the person has. my main things i look 4 in a friend is loyalty, honesty, trustworthy,kindhearted, loving, friendly, and reasonably outgoing. and they love me for who i am on the inside

Answer 5

Well, you just need to not stare at them.. be quiet and be careful with your words that comes out in your mouth....

Try to ask a loyal friend too...

Answer 6

make friends with those people and make them better

help them lose weight and make them look better

Answer 7

maybe you could talk to your parents about getting you some therapy.

if you don't like yourself, you have issues... i hope you get good help....

you know, other people have feelings and sometimes can't help it if they are "fat"... sometimes kids who get fat have emotional problems.  Maybe their parents treat them like c**p, and tell them they are worthless and no good....or maybe they are lonely or depressed.  So they turn to food for the only comfort they know.

we really have to remember we do not know what the lives of others are like.

and people can't help what they look like... we are all born with different looks.

someday you will grow up and come to some realizations about others -- everyone has feelings and unique situations.  

Answer 8

To be nice to people or your friends you have to trust your self, carefully of what you are going to say out.  Watch out with your words. Sometimes we cannot even realize the words which can also heart people or your friend. Always smile my dear.....

Answer 9

You need to look within yourself and try to understand why you are so angry....so judgmental?  Of course you are never going to make a true friend this way!  But you will meet people in your time  from all walks of life.  It is important to love yourself and have respect for others.  And ALWAYS remember that everyone (including yourself) has their own demons.

PeacE

Answer 10

Overweight and ugly people don't need you anyway. Just find yourself a group of people who think as you do, are more attractive than you and are thinner than you.

Maybe you'll be viewed as the ugly cow of the group. They'll keep you around so they look better by comparison.

Answer 11

Thats called being a stuck up snob.