I dont know if i have a controlling boyfriend, i'm so confused?

Question

long sory.......... i'm 23 now but in july 2005(my story starts here)....

2 years ago........

i worked with him, he liked me, we hooked up at a leavin due,

i got pregnant 3 weeks later, i broke up with him, hated and despised him(coz of hormones and depression) and he was nice to me throughout the whole pregnancy.

i was still depressed till the baby was 17 months old then on anti depressants, felt great, 3 months later i was sleeping with him, told him how i felt, still wasn't interested, he was still so efectionat then 3 months later i felt something and began to fall for him, and he knew, then stpped being affectionate, only saying comments to me that were negative eg:"YOU DON'T WEAR NICE CLOTHES"

"I DONT LIKE BELLY DANCING"(im a bellydancer)

anytime we have a fight, he blames me and tries to make me feel so bad about it and guilty.

i havn't went out for a night out with my mates in ages and when i want to go out he freaks and i say"if you wanted to go out with your mates id be cool with it" he says" thats the difference i never want to go out with my mates coz id rather be here, i think you need to except you are in a relationship now"

theres alot of other little things that add up, like my opinions always wrong, hese right, we are together 8 months and still hasnt told me how he feels, nothing even leading up to "i love you" anytime i ask him what does he think of me he says the exct same sentence everytim " i really like you and want to be with you" never been any different, now he liked me for 2 years he would have alot more to sa than that.

ive said stuff to him, like missing him, thinking he was a good kisser and he says nothing back.

whywould he like me for so long and then not only try to control me, but not give me any love or affection, apparently he duznt know any couples that do that so its all in my head and i'm talkin shite

hes also shown insecurities and shown jealousy toward male people i talk to, and if im texting, he says who ya texted, i say a mate, he says mmmmmm, like sarcasticly all the time,

so????????/ am i in a controlling relationsip????????

we havnt said we love each other yet so i think this wil be easy to get out of, other than the fact i have a 2 year old daughter with him and hes great with her, but he doesn't live with us

Answer 1

What you are worried about really is that you are hoping something can happen with him, like a candle to reflame, but the thing is you are not willing to accept the truth, you are just hoping it can happen.  The thing is he is there for his daughter and he is nice when he can be, you should just be nice too and leave the relationship to that level only.  If he starts being a bad person, and treating his daughter badly then put him on child support. That ll teach the d ick.  but if he is already on  the child support system, maybe hes angry at you to put that on him HAHAHAHA  this is what happens when a girl gets pregnant and makes the pointless emotional decision of breaking up with him instead of having him marry you... BAD BAD, both of you...and another thing , if you put him on child support, he will really be mad at you and hate you

The sooner you accept that it aint gonna happen and stop thinking about it, the better off youll be.

You are the weakess link, goodbye.

Answer 2

he sounds kinda like me , and i dont think that i am .  

Answer 3

Yes, he is a controlling personality. I would terminate personal contact, not including the visitation rights for the child.  

Answer 4

IMHO, yes.  He's controlling you and using you.  And you're letting him do this to you.  I hope you kick him to the curb, and only have contact with him relating to your child.

You need to do some soul searching and find out why you've put up with this.  You don't want to attract another guy like this.  You deserve to have someone in your life that loves, respects, and cares for you and your child.

I hope you can move on and quickly.  I just don't think he's that into you.  I'm sorry.  I hope you can find a really wonderful man for you and your daughter.